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Thread: Nate Cooper should die of gonorrhea and roast in hell.

  1. #31

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    If I am ever in the same room as Nate Cooper, I am going to torch his Conan O'Brien hair with a Bic lighter and a can of AquaNet. His scalp will look like Darth Vader's at the almost end of Return of the Jedi.

  2. #32

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    Nate Cooper has the biggest head that Mark Grace has ever seen.
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
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    He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. The logic is impeccable.
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  3. #33

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    The next time I see Nate Cooper's giant head, I'm going to use it to clog an industrial sewage pipe.

  4. #34
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Senioritis View Post
    If I am ever in the same room as Nate Cooper, I am going to torch his Conan O'Brien hair with a Bic lighter and a can of AquaNet. His scalp will look like Darth Vader's at the almost end of Return of the Jedi.
    I'm still confused. When Luke removes Darth Vader's helmet at the almost end of Return of the Jedi, his scalp looked very dry, but not entirely unmanageable.....much like an elderly temple worker helping you to your locker.

    However, there is a brief scene a few minutes later wherein Luke lights a funeral pyre with Darth Vader resting atop. One can only assume that his scalp was disfigured beyond recognition after enduring such a cremation. Additionally, the melted helmet fragments would have likely been seared to his skin in the process, creating a truly horrifying sight.

    Are you planning on reenacting the third-to-last Darth Vader scene, thereby making Nate Cooper's scalp insufferably dry, yet treatable? Or the second-to-last Darth Vader scene, charring his scalp beyond recognition, although in a respectful ceremonial fashion?
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  5. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I'm still confused. When Luke removes Darth Vader's helmet at the almost end of Return of the Jedi, his scalp looked very dry, but not entirely unmanageable.....much like an elderly temple worker helping you to your locker.

    However, there is a brief scene a few minutes later wherein Luke lights a funeral pyre with Darth Vader resting atop. One can only assume that his scalp was disfigured beyond recognition after enduring such a cremation. Additionally, the melted helmet fragments would have likely been seared to his skin in the process, creating a truly horrifying sight.

    Are you planning on reenacting the third-to-last Darth Vader scene, thereby making Nate Cooper's scalp insufferably dry, yet treatable? Or the second-to-last Darth Vader scene, charring his scalp beyond recognition, although in a respectful ceremonial fashion?
    I'm a little sketchy on the details, but the plan is to somehow give his scalp untreatable gonorrhea.

  6. #36
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Senioritis View Post
    I'm a little sketchy on the details, but the plan is to somehow give his scalp untreatable gonorrhea.
    His scalp would show no symptoms! That is what I am trying to tell you. Please listen to me!
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  7. #37

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    If Nate Cooper was a terrorist (which he may be), and I was an interrogator (which I may be), I would waterboard him in yak urine. So, I guess I would urineboard him.

  8. #38

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    I will punch Nate Cooper in the ovary. Straight shot, right to the baby maker.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Eddie's Avatar
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    I remember seeing a replay of whatever it was that Cooper was supposed to have done, and all I can say is I must've missed it.

    I remember a minor league pushing match under the basket. But certainly nothing to warrant remembering a minor role player on the team.

    Seriously - was that the only time VanHorne was fouled in his entire career at Utah? Becuase I didn't see anything beyond a regular layup stopping foul to make him earn them at the FT line.

    Is there video out there somewhere of this incident so that I can see what I missed the last time I watched it?

  10. #40
    BYU Delenda Est Mormon Red Death's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    I remember seeing a replay of whatever it was that Cooper was supposed to have done, and all I can say is I must've missed it.

    I remember a minor league pushing match under the basket. But certainly nothing to warrant remembering a minor role player on the team.

    Seriously - was that the only time VanHorne was fouled in his entire career at Utah? Becuase I didn't see anything beyond a regular layup stopping foul to make him earn them at the FT line.

    Is there video out there somewhere of this incident so that I can see what I missed the last time I watched it?
    byu has cleverly deleted any footage of the atrocity. Beavis... You can burn in hell!!!
    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  11. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    I remember seeing a replay of whatever it was that Cooper was supposed to have done, and all I can say is I must've missed it.

    I remember a minor league pushing match under the basket. But certainly nothing to warrant remembering a minor role player on the team.

    Seriously - was that the only time VanHorne was fouled in his entire career at Utah? Becuase I didn't see anything beyond a regular layup stopping foul to make him earn them at the FT line.

    Is there video out there somewhere of this incident so that I can see what I missed the last time I watched it?
    What is next, are you going to claim that Royce Olney only tapped Andre Miller?
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
    --SeattleUte

    He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. The logic is impeccable.
    --Charles W. Bamforth, Ph.D.

  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpfunk View Post
    What is next, are you going to claim that Royce Olney only tapped Andre Miller?
    amen brother
    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  13. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by mpfunk View Post
    What is next, are you going to claim that Royce Olney only tapped Andre Miller?
    Yes, and Hafa had no intention of KO'ing Jerrell Blassingame.
    *Banned*

  14. #44
    Senior Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpfunk View Post
    What is next, are you going to claim that Royce Olney only tapped Andre Miller?
    Who is Royce Olney? And what did he do to Andre Miller?


    Next you're going to blame Miles for the time that Aussie behemoth tried to hit him in the foot with his back.




    I have to tell you in all honesty - I never saw whatever it was that Nate Cooper allegedly did to Mr. VanHorne.

  15. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    Who is Royce Olney? And what did he do to Andre Miller?
    Royce Olney is a horrible human being. That is all you need to know about him.
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
    --SeattleUte

    He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. The logic is impeccable.
    --Charles W. Bamforth, Ph.D.

  16. #46

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    I will kidnap Nate Cooper, swap him with Neil Patrick Harris, and force him to march in a gay pride parade wearing nothing but black stillettos and a pink sequined thong.

  17. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by Senioritis View Post
    I will kidnap Nate Cooper, swap him with Neil Patrick Harris, and force him to march in a gay pride parade wearing nothing but black stillettos and a pink sequined thong.
    That's hawtt!

  18. #48
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    How gay is Nate Cooper on a scale of 1-10?
    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  19. #49

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mormon Red Death View Post
    How gay is Nate Cooper on a scale of 1-10?
    Solon being a 1 and MRD being a 10.

  20. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    Solon being a 1 and MRD being a 10.
    I am a quite happy chap
    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  21. #51

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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    Solon being a 1 and MRD being a 10.
    (not that there's anything wrong with it)
    "More crazy people to Provo go than to any other town in the state."
    -- Iron County Record. 23 August, 1912. (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lc...23/ed-1/seq-4/)

  22. #52
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    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  23. #53
    BYU Delenda Est Mormon Red Death's Avatar
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    I know I'm a hack.
    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  24. #54
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    back to the point at hand. Nate Cooper looks like beavis

    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  25. #55
    Senior Member il Padrino Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mormon Red Death View Post
    back to the point at hand. Nate Cooper looks like beavis

    Beavis Howser?
    "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


    "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

  26. #56
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    "Be a philosopher. A man can compromise to gain a point. It has become apparent that a man can, within limits, follow his inclinations within the arms of the Church if he does so discreetly." - The Walking Drum

    "And here’s what life comes down to—not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn’t amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you’ll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." – Adam Carolla

  27. #57

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    I will beat Nate Cooper to death with Royce Olney's shoe.
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
    --SeattleUte

    He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. The logic is impeccable.
    --Charles W. Bamforth, Ph.D.

  28. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Senioritis View Post
    I will kidnap Nate Cooper, swap him with Neil Patrick Harris, and force him to march in a gay pride parade wearing nothing but black stillettos and a pink sequined thong.
    So it IS a repressed sexual rage thing then. For an erection lasting more than 4 hours call Nate Cooper, eh?

  29. #59

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    In my weekly google hunt for the latest of everything Nate Cooper, I came up with this:




    LIGHTNING BOLT!

  30. #60
    Senior Member byu71's Avatar
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    Finally I have figured out who this Cooper guy you guys are upset at is. I knew it rang a bell. Why would you guys be ticked at a guy that leaped from an airplane with a lot of money and was never found. Are you that outraged at criminal activity. Why does this particular criminal bother you so much.

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