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Thread: October 2019 General Conference

  1. #211
    𐐐𐐄𐐢𐐆𐐤𐐝 𐐓𐐅 𐐜 𐐢𐐃𐐡𐐔 Uncle Ted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smokymountainrain View Post
    as JL said, if you answer yes or no, they aren't going to probe further. but for the sake of argument, lets say they do probe further - you just reiterate your yes or no answer.

    SP: do you keep the WoW? UT: yes. SP: i mean, do you drink coffee? UT: i keep the word of wisdom.

    or you could tell him to eff off.

    if you choose the latter option, please return and report.
    More like this:

    SP: Do you understand and obey the WoW?

    UT: Yeah.

    SP: What is your understanding of the WoW?

    UT: I understand was given in section 89 as not a commandment. Why are you shining those bright lights in my face, man?
    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
    "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
    "Yet I still see wisdom in that which Uncle Ted posts." -creek.
    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  2. #212
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    How many other caffeine delivery methods have you tried?
    My delivery method the last couple days was straight from a 2-liter bottle of Cherry Coke. Gotta love deadlines.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
    - Goatnapper'96

  3. #213
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Good heavens, you must be absolutely miserable living in Vegas.
    What are you talking about? Utah is littered with fake boobs.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  4. #214
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    What are you talking about? Utah is littered with fake boobs.
    Lol. Touche'.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  5. #215
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    What are you talking about? Utah is littered with fake boobs.
    Why is everyone discarding their fake boobs? Is that how they made Silicon Slopes?
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
    - Goatnapper'96

  6. #216

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    Quote Originally Posted by Northwestcoug View Post
    Coffee and real boobs represent all that is good on this earth. They both warm the soul and wake you up. Fake boobs are just a cheap caricature, like Diet Mountain Dew.
    This post is full of all the truth. I would like you to be my Prophet.
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
    --SeattleUte

    He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. The logic is impeccable.
    --Charles W. Bamforth, Ph.D.

  7. #217

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    Quote Originally Posted by MartyFunkhouser View Post
    This post is full of all the truth. I would like you to be my Prophet.
    First commandment, no meetups at Starbucks.

  8. #218
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northwestcoug View Post
    Coffee and real boobs represent all that is good on this earth. They both warm the soul and wake you up. Fake boobs are just a cheap caricature, like Diet Mountain Dew.
    What's the equivalent of pregnancy boobs?

    Of all the boobs - them are the best.

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  9. #219
    Senior Member Katy Lied's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ted View Post
    eating meat sparingly : Sparingly means without waste NOT very little
    I'd like to call my husband to repentance then. He wastes a lot of food, including meat:

    Refuses to eat leftovers
    Refuses to eat "second dinner" entres made of leftovers including casseroles, curries and soups.
    Refuses to let the dog eat leftover meat if it is older than 3 days
    When he eats say, a chicken thigh, he takes three bites and tosses the meat encrusted bone. He really dislikes cleaning up by gnawing all of the meat off the bone. Clack, any advice here?

    Say, do you think he would consider using prime ribeye in stir fry a waste?

  10. #220
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    I'd like to call my husband to repentance then. He wastes a lot of food, including meat:

    Refuses to eat leftovers
    Refuses to eat "second dinner" entres made of leftovers including casseroles, curries and soups.
    Refuses to let the dog eat leftover meat if it is older than 3 days
    When he eats say, a chicken thigh, he takes three bites and tosses the meat encrusted bone. He really dislikes cleaning up by gnawing all of the meat off the bone. Clack, any advice here?

    Say, do you think he would consider using prime ribeye in stir fry a waste?
    You need to withhold marital relations until you can get your man to do what you want. That's the way of nature. But as an anti-gnawite, he sounds like a true celestial candidate to be sure.
    Last edited by clackamascoug; 10-17-2019 at 10:43 AM.

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  11. #221
    a day late/a dollar short Sullyute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by clackamascoug View Post
    You need to withhold marital relations until you can get your man to do what you want. That's the way of nature. But as an anti-gnawite, he sounds like a true celestial candidate to be sure.
    Wow, I am on pins and needles waiting for Katy’s response to that ‘unique’ take.
    "Friendship is the grand fundamental principle of Mormonism" - Joseph Smith Jr.

  12. #222
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    Wow, I am on pins and needles waiting for Katy’s response to that ‘unique’ take.

    "Unique?" - There's not a man on here who hasn't experienced the benevolent quid pro quo of a successful marriage.

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  13. #223
    Pre-Historic Man
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    Quote Originally Posted by clackamascoug View Post
    You need to withhold marital relations until you can get your man to do what you want. That's the way of nature. But as an anti-gnawite, he sounds like a true celestial candidate to be sure.
    You are a bastard. What makes you think she hasn't already employed the nuclear option?
    "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

    Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

  14. #224
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topper View Post
    You are a bastard. What makes you think she hasn't already employed the nuclear option?
    Clack - is this true? Were your parents unmarried?
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
    - Goatnapper'96

  15. #225
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    Clack - is this true? Were your parents unmarried?
    Your attempt at humor is a form of self gratification - where you think it's funny - but ultimately injurious to your intended target.

    You can do better - you can be better - I've glimpsed at the goodness in you.

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  16. #226
    it's all a blur mtnbiker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    I'd like to call my husband to repentance then. He wastes a lot of food, including meat:

    Refuses to eat leftovers
    Refuses to eat "second dinner" entres made of leftovers including casseroles, curries and soups.
    Refuses to let the dog eat leftover meat if it is older than 3 days
    When he eats say, a chicken thigh, he takes three bites and tosses the meat encrusted bone. He really dislikes cleaning up by gnawing all of the meat off the bone. Clack, any advice here?

    Say, do you think he would consider using prime ribeye in stir fry a waste?
    You can't just say "This is what we're having tonight; if you don't like it, go make a peanut butter sandwich"?

    As for chicken thighs, give him a knife and fork to cut everything off the bone so he doesn't get chicken on his cheeks.

  17. #227

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    Clack - is this true? Were your parents unmarried?


    Quote Originally Posted by clackamascoug View Post
    Your attempt at humor is a form of self gratification - where you think it's funny - but ultimately injurious to your intended target.

    You can do better - you can be better - I've glimpsed at the goodness in you.

  18. #228
    Senior Member Katy Lied's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    Why is everyone discarding their fake boobs? Is that how they made Silicon Slopes?
    Well I thought this was brilliant

  19. #229
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    Well I thought this was brilliant
    And but for the want of an 'e' it would make more sense!
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  20. #230
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    And but for the want of an 'e' it would make more sense!
    Spelling has not been my forte as of late. Can I blame it on typos?
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
    - Goatnapper'96

  21. #231
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    Spelling has not been my forte as of late. Can I blame it on typos?
    Of course!
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

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