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Thread: The LDS poetry thread

  1. #61
    Heartless Bastard Indy Coug's Avatar
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    What exactly is Cowboy Poetry? Is it the tortured Freudian ramblings of a lonely man who spends each day staring at a cow's backside?

  2. #62

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    Quote Originally Posted by cowboy View Post
    I've written a few cowboy poems, but none of them are funny.
    I'd love to see them, funny or not. Promise I won't make fun.

  3. #63
    Senior Member il Padrino Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    If he were Mormon:

    "The Battle Hymn of Elder J. Alfred Prufrock"

    LET us go then, you and I,
    When the pamphlet is spread out against the tablecloth
    Like a tract unfolded upon a table;
    Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
    The muttering retreats
    Of restless investigators in one-room cheap hovels
    And questionable restaurants with garbage pails:
    Streets that follow like a tedious argument
    Of theological intent
    To lead you to a baptismal covenant …
    Let us get on with it,
    Let us go and make our visit.

    In the room, the elders come and go
    Talking of Mahonri Moriancumr.
    A+!
    "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


    "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

  4. #64
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by il Padrino Ute View Post
    A+!
    Grazie


    S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
    A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
    Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
    Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
    Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
    Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  5. #65
    Senior Member il Padrino Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indy Coug View Post
    What exactly is Cowboy Poetry?
    [youtube]EECXv0sMwks[/youtube]
    "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


    "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

  6. #66
    Senior Member il Padrino Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    Grazie
    di niente.

    S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
    A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
    Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
    Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
    Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
    Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.
    Bravissimo!
    "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


    "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

  7. #67
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by il Padrino Ute View Post
    di niente.



    Bravissimo!

    Attendere. La poesia en italiano non è mia. Ho messo la poesia tra virgolette, perché appartiene ad Eliot.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  8. #68
    Senior Member il Padrino Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    Attendere. La poesia en italiano non è mia. Ho messo la poesia tra virgolette, perché appartiene ad Eliot.
    S’io creyese que mi respuesta fuera
    a una persona que nunca volviera al mundo,
    esta llama staria sin mas choques.
    Pero perciocche nunca de este fondo
    no vuelvo vivo ningún, s’i’odo el verdadero,
    sin tema d’infamia te respondo.
    I cheated and used a little translation site. It's supposed to be European Spanish. I can only hope it's fairly accurate. Or at least close enough.

    Edit: Not sure what the little symbols are. Mis disculpas
    Last edited by il Padrino Ute; 09-09-2009 at 09:46 PM.
    "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


    "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

  9. #69

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    Quote Originally Posted by Indy Coug View Post
    What exactly is Cowboy Poetry? Is it the tortured Freudian ramblings of a lonely man who spends each day staring at a cow's backside?
    It's a specific style of poetry that allows the writer to rhyme bear with car, and were words like discombobulate can be inserted in random places just for effect.

  10. #70
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by il Padrino Ute View Post
    I cheated and used a little translation site. It's supposed to be European Spanish. I can only hope it's fairly accurate. Or at least close enough.

    Edit: Not sure what the little symbols are. Mis disculpas
    No te preocupes. Entiendo perfectamente lo que dice en italiano, pero quise asegurarte que yo no fui el autor de las líneas citadas; son de Eliot. La traducción que ofreciste no sirve mucho porque es una mezcla de italiano y castellano, pero gracias por intentarlo.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  11. #71
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cowboy View Post
    I've written a few cowboy poems, but none of them are funny. I have a hired man who recites cowboy poetry all the time. If Elko wasn't such a crap hole in January, I'd take a trip out there for the cowboy gathering.
    Cowboy poetry can be awesome. My brother does western art (oil painting) and goes to the big events sometimes. He has quite a few of the good ones memorized.

    But this is stuff that is much better when performed live.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  12. #72
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGabers View Post
    If I hear that damn poem "Footprints" recited one more time in Sacramental Meeting, I am leaving the church...
    Oh, I wish I could find a link to that photo studio that does photos with the live Jesus model. You would love the footprints in the sand version.

    Somebody help me out!
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  13. #73
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Oh, I wish I could find a link to that photo studio that does photos with the live Jesus model. You would love the footprints in the sand version.

    Somebody help me out!
    AHA!

    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  14. #74
    Boom Bitches!!! BlueHair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGabers View Post
    If I hear that damn poem "Footprints" recited one more time in Sacramental Meeting, I am leaving the church...
    My wife want to have toilet paper printed with "Footprints" on it. Also, the saying, "Everything happens for a reason".

    We despise both.

  15. #75
    Boom Bitches!!! BlueHair's Avatar
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    There once was a Mormon from Orem
    Who was the teacher of the Elder's Quorum
    He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
    As far as Boyd K. Packer goes - Ignore him!

  16. #76

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueHair View Post
    My wife want to have toilet paper printed with "Footprints" on it. Also, the saying, "Everything happens for a reason".

    We despise both.
    Oooohh.... good business idea.

  17. #77
    Where's Wallace? Surfah's Avatar
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    so much depends
    upon

    the elders
    quorum

    glistening with
    sweat

    beside the white
    uhaul
    "Nobody listens to Turtle."
    -Turtle

  18. #78
    I ♥ gateway sex FN Phat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surfah View Post
    so much depends
    upon

    the elders
    quorum

    glistening with
    sweat

    beside the white
    uhaul

    This sounds a bit homoerotic
    I'm your huckleberry.


    "I love pulling the bone. Really though, what guy doesn't?" - CJF

  19. #79
    Rabblerouser statman's Avatar
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    The guy who put this book together (and I believe translated some of the poems from Chinese to English) is LDS. I'm not a big poetry fan myself, but I have this one at home, and I've actually read it through a couple times...

    http://www.amazon.com/Enduring-Ties-.../dp/158642064X

  20. #80
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surfah View Post
    so much depends
    upon

    the elders
    quorum

    glistening with
    sweat

    beside the white
    uhaul
    Whoa! A+

    Brother William Carlos Surfah
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  21. #81
    Living in the Past ... FMCoug's Avatar
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    The mullah version:


    One night I had a wondrous dream,
    One set of footprints there was seen,
    The footprints of my precious Lord,
    But mine were not along the shore.

    But then some strange prints appeared,
    And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
    Those prints are large and round and neat,
    "But Lord, they are too big for feet."

    "My child," He said in somber tones,
    "For miles I carried you along.
    I challenged you to walk in faith,
    But you refused and made me wait."

    "You disobeyed, you would not grow,
    The walk of faith, you would not know,
    So I got tired, I got fed up,
    And there I dropped you on your butt."

    "Because in life, there comes a time,
    When one must fight, and one must climb,
    When one must rise and take a stand,
    Or leave their butt prints in the sand."
    "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

  22. #82
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surfah View Post
    so much depends
    upon

    the elders
    quorum

    glistening with
    sweat

    beside the white
    uhaul
    I still think this is pretty damned good.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  23. #83
    lollygagger hostile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    I still think this is pretty damned good.
    Yup. First time reading and I almost aspirated a Triscuit.
    "You interns are like swallows. You shit all over my patients for six weeks and then fly off."

    "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. It's my fault for overestimating your competence."

  24. #84
    Receiver of Memory LA Ute's Avatar
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    For those curious about, or really interested in Mormon Poetry, Harvest: Contemporary Mormon Poems is pretty good. It has "two hundred poems and fourteen hymns (most written between 1970 and 1989)" by sixty-nine Mormon poets. Not everything in it will not provide much material for sacrament meeting talks, however. Just lots of good poetry, some faith-promoting, much thought-provoking.
    “There is a great deal of difference in believing something still, and believing it again.”
    ― W.H. Auden


    "God made the angels to show His splendour - as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But men and women He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of their minds."
    -- Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons


    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  25. #85
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGabers View Post
    If I hear that damn poem "Footprints" recited one more time in Sacramental Meeting, I am leaving the church...
    Of all the possible reasons fur leaving, I never suspected it would be because of this.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  26. #86
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    Nearly 9 years later and every single time I hear or read Parley P Pratt at church I say to myself "so many P's! Multiple wives...so many V's!"
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  27. #87
    Semper infra dignitatem PaloAltoCougar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    Nearly 9 years later and every single time I hear or read Parley P Pratt at church I say to myself "so many P's! Multiple wives...so many V's!"
    Ditto; I've spoken aloud "so many P's!" occasionally when his name gets mentioned. It's a great poem, including the closing reference to urine on the back of the building.

  28. #88
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    EQ started today with Renlund’s talk and featured a lot of Parley and Orson. I had to share this with a few people close to me today. I was about to share with the Q at large but by the time I found it the topic had changed and I didn’t feel it was appropriate. RIP Triplet!
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  29. #89

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    Love it (again). One of the best things I've read on this board.

  30. #90
    Senior Member Omaha 680's Avatar
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    I've said it before: greatest LDS sports themed message board post of all time.

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