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Thread: The LDS poetry thread

  1. #1
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Default The LDS poetry thread

    INTRO:

    This is Jeff Lebowski, not HFN. DDD and YOhio started a promising hijack with LDS poetry inside a Christmas thread. I decided to split the related posts into a new thread (partly just to see how one goes about splitting a thread - it's not easy, BTW).

    Since HFN started the thread, I have to leave his post here (I copied the thread and then deleted some posts). If I delete HFN's post, it deletes the entire thread. So my apologies to HFN. (This is HFN, no apologies necessary Dude.)

    Carry on.
    Last edited by HuskyFreeNorthwest; 12-12-2008 at 10:57 AM.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  2. #2
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teenage Dirtbag View Post
    I am sad that your poem didn't make the cut. Please post it here, so that all may enjoy.
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  3. #3
    Senior Member SteelBlue's Avatar
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    I wish there was an online archive of The Friend. I had a poem published at age 7 that, I'm certain, would bring a tear to they eye of even the most hardened soul.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    That was awesome! My John C. Bennett poem was rejected.

    Dr. John C. Bennett was a hero of his age
    Mayor of his town and he lobbied Honest Abe
    But the mockers will mock and the haters will hate
    And they all blame him when the ladies are late

    He hated crime and deplored thuggery
    And there is no proof of purported buggery
    He also was the General of the Nauvoo Legion
    And his little general had no lesions

    A playa will play and he won't change
    So he headed up North to hang with the Strang
    So there on Beaver Island he was meant to be
    And he convinced the sisters to play polygamy

    So it is quite clear that John C. Bennett
    Was a pretty great guy and always up in it
    His rep is clear as a crystal bell
    And all his critics can go to Utah

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by SteelBlue View Post
    I wish there was an online archive of The Friend. I had a poem published at age 7 that, I'm certain, would bring a tear to they eye of even the most hardened soul.
    Is this it?

    Our grandpa’s bees
    each have six knees,
    They really are
    humdingers—
    Real busy things with
    buzzy wings,
    And great big shiny
    STINGERS!

    The Friend 1977


    Or this

    This is Mary.
    This is Joseph.
    This is their donkey gray.
    This is the town of Bethlehem where they would like to stay.
    This is the stable.
    This is a manger by a cattle stall.
    This is the Baby Jesus, the Savior of us all.
    This is an angel.
    This is a shepherd.
    This is a brand new star.
    Later would come the wise men, traveling from afar.
    This is the very first Christmas that anyone did keep,
    In honor of Baby Jesus—
    Shhh! He’s fallen asleep.

    Friend 1977

    I hope its the first.

    You realize there is an online archive of the friend, right?

  6. #6
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    He hated crime and deplored thuggery
    And there is no proof of purported buggery
    He also was the General of the Nauvoo Legion
    And his little general had no lesions
    I just don't get why these great poems are getting rejected.
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    I got this far before busting up laughing. I was laughing hard enough that my daughter came over to look at the laptop to see what was so funny. Luckily she can't read.

  8. #8
    Senior Member SteelBlue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pelagius View Post
    Is this it?

    Our grandpa’s bees
    each have six knees,
    They really are
    humdingers—
    Real busy things with
    buzzy wings,
    And great big shiny
    STINGERS!

    The Friend 1977


    Or this

    This is Mary.
    This is Joseph.
    This is their donkey gray.
    This is the town of Bethlehem where they would like to stay.
    This is the stable.
    This is a manger by a cattle stall.
    This is the Baby Jesus, the Savior of us all.
    This is an angel.
    This is a shepherd.
    This is a brand new star.
    Later would come the wise men, traveling from afar.
    This is the very first Christmas that anyone did keep,
    In honor of Baby Jesus—
    Shhh! He’s fallen asleep.

    Friend 1977

    I hope its the first.

    You realize there is an online archive of the friend, right?
    I find the archive, but I don't see the children's submissions anywhere.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by SteelBlue View Post
    I find the archive, but I don't see the children's submissions anywhere.
    You're right ... I didn't check that. The scary thing is that implies that the above poems were written by adults.

  10. #10
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    Sometimes I swear your are a genius.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  11. #11
    Golf & Cubs Disrespecter beelzebabette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    Truly a shame this is buried mid-thread. I just read it aloud for reaction, and the poem was received with a far better reaction than I could have dreamed. Up there with the campaign buttons to wear to church.

  12. #12
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    That was awesome! My John C. Bennett poem was rejected.

    Dr. John C. Bennett was a hero of his age
    Mayor of his town and he lobbied Honest Abe
    But the mockers will mock and the haters will hate
    And they all blame him when the ladies are late

    He hated crime and deplored thuggery
    And there is no proof of purported buggery
    He also was the General of the Nauvoo Legion
    And his little general had no lesions

    A playa will play and he won't change
    So he headed up North to hang with the Strang
    So there on Beaver Island he was meant to be
    And he convinced the sisters to play polygamy

    So it is quite clear that John C. Bennett
    Was a pretty great guy and always up in it
    His rep is clear as a crystal bell
    And all his critics can go to Utah
    Hey, you made something!

    Seriously, that was hilarious. Ditto for DDD. We should move these to a new thread and see if we can get something started.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  13. #13
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    I am partial to Haiku.

    Porter's Lament

    Shhh... There sits Mr. Boggs.
    Exterminate this, tough guy!
    Dammit. I missed him.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  14. #14
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    A Calling Extended

    Serve as YM pres?
    That's like the nursery job,
    Plus cars and hormones.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Hey, you made something!

    Seriously, that was hilarious. Ditto for DDD. We should move these to a new thread and see if we can get something started.
    See? Look what I started! (I'll take credit for anything I can )

    Hey gentlemen! Good work all around. Even Lebowski's lame Haiku made me chuckle. Better than a new thread, we should start a new category! The poetry of CUF. That would be one hell of a way to distinguish this page from all of the other Cougar/Ute/Sports/LDS boards out there. It would become absolutely legendary!

    Seriously Jeff. You should think about it.

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    Maybe you could call the category, "The Open Mic." Or, "The Beatnik Cafe."

  17. #17
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobinFinderson View Post
    Even Lebowski's lame Haiku made me chuckle.
    Hey, it's the toughest form to work with. You only have 17 syllables. (but if you throw on a title you can cheat a little bit)
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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    Semper infra dignitatem PaloAltoCougar's Avatar
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    This is one of the best thread detours ever. I was enjoying reading about others' Christmases, and suddenly I'm plunged into a collection of moving short stories (thanks, O. Landpoke) and poetry that would cause the Algonquin Round Table to shudder with inadequacy. I'm saving the poetry and haiku for my church history lessons in the coming year. Tears will be shed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Hey, it's the toughest form to work with. You only have 17 syllables. (but if you throw on a title you can cheat a little bit)
    Hey, I like it! I was just throwing your 'Groan... I guess it had to happen some time' back at you.

    Seriously, consider the 'Beatnik Cafe.' A collection of BYU/UTE/LDS/Sports related poetry?? That is the kind of content that internet empires are built on!

  20. #20
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobinFinderson View Post
    Hey, I like it! I was just throwing your 'Groan... I guess it had to happen some time' back at you.
    For the record, I was groaning at the narcissistic nature of your "vote on my sauce" poll and thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by RobinFinderson View Post
    Seriously, consider the 'Beatnik Cafe.' A collection of BYU/UTE/LDS/Sports related poetry?? That is the kind of content that internet empires are built on!
    Not a bad idea.
    Last edited by Jeff Lebowski; 12-12-2008 at 08:22 AM.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  21. #21

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    This poem was created at a time in my life when I had just overcome some obstacles with the help of a dear family member.

    There's no telling how much a sunrise means
    to the one who had a terrible night
    and there's no telling how much a hand to hold,
    means to one whose being led to the light
    and no one can tell,
    though at times they might try
    what it means to have one friend
    that's been true
    So I guess there's no telling you
    just how much
    one heart in the right place can do
    There's no telling how far
    ones eyes can see
    when someone's vision
    can inspire a song
    and there's no telling how big
    a dream can be
    for the one whose learned
    to never think small
    and no one can tell
    though at times you might try
    what another person's love means to you
    So I guess there's no telling you
    just how much
    one heart in the right place can do
    But there's been a heart
    as big as it's dreams
    that's blessed us all for so many years
    It's been in all the right places
    at all the right times
    and it's changed everyone of us here.
    There's no telling how much
    that sunrise meant
    to the one who had a terrible night
    And there's no telling how much
    a hand to hold
    has meant to someone
    whose been led to the light
    and no one can tell
    though at times they might try
    what it means to have been touched
    by someone
    so there's no way of telling you
    just how much
    your heart in the right place has done
    We wish we could tell you now
    just how much
    your heart in the right place has done

  22. #22
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    This poem was created at a time in my life when I had just overcome some obstacles with the help of a dear family member.
    Welcome home, brother....welcome home.
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  23. #23
    вот так штука CardiacCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    Excellent!

  24. #24
    Not Banned Tim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

    Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
    Multiple wives....so many V's!

    Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
    When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
    Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

    The G known as PPP
    Had a beef with Hector
    Now Parley is a specter

    But his spirit lives on today
    Mitt Romney has his DNA
    And there's a little PPP in you and in me
    And on the building at the back of the MTC
    I can't stop laughing.

    Tim

  25. #25
    Ragnar Lodbrok Descendant SoCalCoug's Avatar
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    Here's a little poem I wrote a few years ago:

    Footsteps In The Sand

    One night a man had a dream.
    He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
    Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
    For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
    one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
    When the last scene of his life flashed before him
    he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
    He noticed that many times along the path of his life
    there was only one set of footprints.
    He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
    This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
    "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
    you'd walk with me all the way.
    But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
    there is only one set of footprints.
    I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
    The LORD replied:
    "My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,
    During your times of trial and suffering,
    when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."


  26. #26

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    Here is a poem I wrote as a boy. I submitted it for consideration, but it went unpublished. The editor returned it to me, along with a handwritten note that said simply: "Too creepy".

    Adam was a prophet, first one that we know.
    In a place called Eden, he helped things to grow.
    Adam served the Lord by following his ways.
    We are his descendants in the latter days.
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet; don't go astray.
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet he knows the way.

    Now we have a world where people are confused.
    If you don’t believe it, go and watch the news.
    We can get direction all along our way,
    If we heed the prophets-follow what they say
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet; don't go astray.
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet he knows the way.

  27. #27
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teenage Dirtbag View Post
    Here is a poem I wrote as a boy. I submitted it for consideration, but it went unpublished. The editor returned it to me, along with a handwritten note that said simply: "Too creepy".

    Adam was a prophet, first one that we know.
    In a place called Eden, he helped things to grow.
    Adam served the Lord by following his ways.
    We are his descendants in the latter days.
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet; don't go astray.
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet he knows the way.

    Now we have a world where people are confused.
    If you don’t believe it, go and watch the news.
    We can get direction all along our way,
    If we heed the prophets-follow what they say
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet; don't go astray.
    Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
    Follow the prophet he knows the way.
    It's tough to portray the full creepiness without the nazi marching music.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  28. #28

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    None of you have anything on JJ Redick

    No bandage can cover my scars
    It's hard living a life behind invisible bars
    Searching for the face of God
    I'm only inspired by the poems of Nas
    Because the truth has carved my life's patterns
    The reality of pain, and the joy of laughter
    My hopes and dreams shattered
    by the miscalculation of my own situation
    It's difficult to keep my nerves patient
    Facing the forecast of fears
    that none of my peers have ever been faced with
    I wanna reach the top floor, but I'm stuck in the basement
    With not enough juice to burst through
    the chains that have shackled my brain
    It seems my dreams have carried me to a separate peace
    apart from reality
    Society is allowing me to grow into the man I'm destined to become
    But how can I move when my entire skeleton is numb?
    Numb from the obstacles that I've been given
    Suddenly the bars connect to walls
    and I find myself contained inside life's prison
    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200.../redick.poems/

  29. #29
    Receiver of Memory LA Ute's Avatar
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    Default "Water," by Lance Larsen

    Water

    Immersion-it sputters from their mouths
    half word, half gargle. "To hold
    your breath," a tiny girl says, "to go under
    like Jesus." Now they want to try it,
    these six-year-olds, so I lead them
    through the hall to the unfilled font.

    Four steps down and we're buried
    in blue tile. They trace the grout,
    watching it powder under their nails.
    And who was John? "The hairy one,"
    they answer, "who wears heavy skins."
    "Dips crickets in honey." I kneel,

    and the nearest child steps forward.
    My right arm squared, left hand circling
    his wrist, I take him into that grave
    of imagined water. Then the others.
    They dip easily, like foldable dolls.
    They rise up from air sipping air.
    If they picture whiteness, it's a color,
    or something to wear, not a state
    they've learned to yearn for. Outside,
    in a collar of fog, snow piles deeper.
    Christmas a shy three weeks away, and only
    adults like me needing to come clean.

    --From A Believing People
    Original poem here.

  30. #30
    Receiver of Memory LA Ute's Avatar
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    Default A haunting bit of LDS poetry

    At Mountain Meadows:
    For Juanita Brooks


    The mass grave here is set with stones
    Piled low inside a low rock wall,
    And marked for travelers by a sign
    That tells us briefly of the murder
    Of six score emigrants, whose bones
    Lay here and there once – on the plain,
    In the gulley – left to the weather
    Of almost a century where they fell –

    Like so many others, screaming, shot,
    Robbed and left naked in the dust;
    A few of the millions underneath,
    And killed for something, like the rest
    That we remember and forget
    In stone and plaque – our modern shrines,
    A casual pilgrimage of death
    For tourists in the summertime

    Who cannot kneel to sift for those yet
    Ungathered pieces of the dead
    That wash out here in summer floods
    Like parts of broken animals,
    But choose a few things to take home,
    A twig, a name, then pass adept
    As visitors around low walls,
    Inspecting what they must disown;

    Forgetting that such ways will end
    When these bones, bursting to rebirth,
    Pick through the meadows for debris
    We did not number, and the Earth
    Burns to a glass in which we see
    Ourselves as we are seen, wherein
    We read, as guilt and innocence,
    The record of our ignorance.

    --Robert A. Christmas

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