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  • #76
    Originally posted by BlueHair View Post
    My wife want to have toilet paper printed with "Footprints" on it. Also, the saying, "Everything happens for a reason".

    We despise both.
    Oooohh.... good business idea.

    Comment


    • #77
      so much depends
      upon

      the elders
      quorum

      glistening with
      sweat

      beside the white
      uhaul
      "Nobody listens to Turtle."
      -Turtle
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #78
        Originally posted by Surfah View Post
        so much depends
        upon

        the elders
        quorum

        glistening with
        sweat

        beside the white
        uhaul

        This sounds a bit homoerotic
        I'm your huckleberry.


        "I love pulling the bone. Really though, what guy doesn't?" - CJF

        Comment


        • #79
          The guy who put this book together (and I believe translated some of the poems from Chinese to English) is LDS. I'm not a big poetry fan myself, but I have this one at home, and I've actually read it through a couple times...

          http://www.amazon.com/Enduring-Ties-.../dp/158642064X

          Comment


          • #80
            Originally posted by Surfah View Post
            so much depends
            upon

            the elders
            quorum

            glistening with
            sweat

            beside the white
            uhaul
            Whoa! A+

            Brother William Carlos Surfah
            "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

            Comment


            • #81
              The mullah version:


              One night I had a wondrous dream,
              One set of footprints there was seen,
              The footprints of my precious Lord,
              But mine were not along the shore.

              But then some strange prints appeared,
              And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
              Those prints are large and round and neat,
              "But Lord, they are too big for feet."

              "My child," He said in somber tones,
              "For miles I carried you along.
              I challenged you to walk in faith,
              But you refused and made me wait."

              "You disobeyed, you would not grow,
              The walk of faith, you would not know,
              So I got tired, I got fed up,
              And there I dropped you on your butt."

              "Because in life, there comes a time,
              When one must fight, and one must climb,
              When one must rise and take a stand,
              Or leave their butt prints in the sand."
              "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

              Comment


              • #82
                Originally posted by Surfah View Post
                so much depends
                upon

                the elders
                quorum

                glistening with
                sweat

                beside the white
                uhaul
                I still think this is pretty damned good.
                "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

                Comment


                • #83
                  Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
                  I still think this is pretty damned good.
                  Yup. First time reading and I almost aspirated a Triscuit.
                  "You interns are like swallows. You shit all over my patients for six weeks and then fly off."

                  "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. It's my fault for overestimating your competence."

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    For those curious about, or really interested in Mormon Poetry, Harvest: Contemporary Mormon Poems is pretty good. It has "two hundred poems and fourteen hymns (most written between 1970 and 1989)" by sixty-nine Mormon poets. Not everything in it will not provide much material for sacrament meeting talks, however. Just lots of good poetry, some faith-promoting, much thought-provoking.
                    “There is a great deal of difference in believing something still, and believing it again.”
                    ― W.H. Auden


                    "God made the angels to show His splendour - as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But men and women He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of their minds."
                    -- Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons


                    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
                    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Originally posted by SuperGabers View Post
                      If I hear that damn poem "Footprints" recited one more time in Sacramental Meeting, I am leaving the church...
                      Of all the possible reasons fur leaving, I never suspected it would be because of this.
                      Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

                      "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

                      GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                        I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

                        Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
                        Multiple wives....so many V's!

                        Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
                        When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
                        Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

                        The G known as PPP
                        Had a beef with Hector
                        Now Parley is a specter

                        But his spirit lives on today
                        Mitt Romney has his DNA
                        And there's a little PPP in you and in me
                        And on the building at the back of the MTC
                        Nearly 9 years later and every single time I hear or read Parley P Pratt at church I say to myself "so many P's! Multiple wives...so many V's!"
                        Get confident, stupid
                        -landpoke

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Originally posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
                          Nearly 9 years later and every single time I hear or read Parley P Pratt at church I say to myself "so many P's! Multiple wives...so many V's!"
                          Ditto; I've spoken aloud "so many P's!" occasionally when his name gets mentioned. It's a great poem, including the closing reference to urine on the back of the building.

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                            I figured this one would be a shoe-in for the LDS Poetry section of the Ensign:

                            Parley Parker Pratt...so many P's!
                            Multiple wives....so many V's!

                            Mission to Chile, you didn't feel silly
                            When the Millenial Star was burned to a char
                            Or was it Times and Seasons? I forget the reasons

                            The G known as PPP
                            Had a beef with Hector
                            Now Parley is a specter

                            But his spirit lives on today
                            Mitt Romney has his DNA
                            And there's a little PPP in you and in me
                            And on the building at the back of the MTC
                            EQ started today with Renlund’s talk and featured a lot of Parley and Orson. I had to share this with a few people close to me today. I was about to share with the Q at large but by the time I found it the topic had changed and I didn’t feel it was appropriate. RIP Triplet!
                            Get confident, stupid
                            -landpoke

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Love it (again). One of the best things I've read on this board.
                              "...you pointy-headed autopsy nerd. Do you think it's possible for you to post without using words like "hilarious," "absurd," "canard," and "truther"? Your bare assertions do not make it so. Maybe your reasoning is too stunted and your vocabulary is too limited to go without these epithets."
                              "You are an intemperate, unscientific poster who makes light of very serious matters.”
                              - SeattleUte

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                I've said it before: greatest LDS sports themed message board post of all time.

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