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Thread: "Hold my root beer" - the Russell M. Nelson thread

  1. #121

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Hold my root beer! That might be next.
    He is too busy making sure that people can't buy beer in grocery stores to get to that.
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
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  2. #122
    Adventurer Walter Sobchak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jay santos View Post
    I bet there's a way you could parent in that same style through regular contact. You might even be more effective.
    Exactly right. We scaffold now so that when we remove the scaffolding later the child can find his or her own way.
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  3. #123

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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    LOL at all of you hard-ass former missionaries looking down on 18-year old kids that love and miss their families.
    Let's not forget how we all walked to school through 2 feet of snow uphill both ways.

  4. #124
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walter Sobchak View Post
    I tell my kids all the time that if they choose to serve that I will not read their e-mails, only their letters. And that I will only respond in writing. I intend to honor that. As I see it, there is wisdom in delayed gratification (e.g. delayed parental intervention) to allow kids to work out solutions to their own problems, especially when those problems are relatively small. That is something we model now and I don't see that changing when my kids leave on their missions (if they choose to serve). I may be in for a rude surprise; if so, then I will consider the years of preparing my kids to do hard things somewhat of a failure.

    But my wife makes her living by conducting weekly interventions with young persons; I'll be curious to see where she lands on this when we talk about this at home.
    You only communicate with your kids through writing? That could make for a quieter home, I suppose.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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  5. #125
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walter Sobchak View Post
    I tell my kids all the time that if they choose to serve that I will not read their e-mails, only their letters. And that I will only respond in writing. I intend to honor that. As I see it, there is wisdom in delayed gratification (e.g. delayed parental intervention) to allow kids to work out solutions to their own problems, especially when those problems are relatively small. That is something we model now and I don't see that changing when my kids leave on their missions (if they choose to serve). I may be in for a rude surprise; if so, then I will consider the years of preparing my kids to do hard things somewhat of a failure.

    But my wife makes her living by conducting weekly interventions with young persons; I'll be curious to see where she lands on this when we talk about this at home.
    Handwritten letters. Lol.

    The flaw in your logic is the notion that a phone call would mean your kid is not learning how to deal with hard things. Missions will still be incredibly difficult and challenging even if a missionary is having a one-hour phone call each week vs. writing emails (or letters) for an hour. And you could certainly still coach your kid on working out solutions to their own problems.

    Also, this is not a requirement, it is an option. From the press release:

    It is not expected that all missionaries will call or video chat with their parents every week. The precise manner of communication is left up to the missionary as he or she decides what will best meet their needs.”

    Elder Uchtdorf said the new guidelines offer several additional benefits, including accommodating varied family circumstances, as well as better supporting those missionaries who would benefit from increased personal contact with family at home.
    Also:

    He rejected the philosophy that calling home more than twice a year will weaken or distract missionaries.

    “Our missionaries are pretty tough,” said Elder Uchtdorf. “They receive rejection every day. They have tough weather conditions. They have to learn a lot. They have to work with new cultures, with new circumstances. But above all, they know in their hearts and minds that they are servants and representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ.”


    Further, Elder Uchtdorf said new options of communication with home will be a motivating force, not a distraction. After their communication with families—in whatever form the missionaries select—they can “go out there and serve the Lord with even a brighter heart, a more joyful countenance.” They can smile at the people they meet and teach and say, “‘I just talked to my parents. They send their greetings and they send their love.’”
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  6. #126
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MartyFunkhouser View Post
    Walter, I hope your children do not go on missions
    Quote Originally Posted by MartyFunkhouser View Post
    He is too busy making sure that people can't buy beer in grocery stores to get to that.
    Funk, these snarky quips probably kill on Reddit, but in this thread they make you look like the little dog nipping at the heels of the caravan.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
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  7. #127
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    I really have no opinion on if this is good or bad. It was inevitable so it’s kind of a meh. I’d love to talk to my kids once a week while they are on missions, but I doubt I’d FaceTime them each week. Maybe once a month and email the other times. I honestly don’t have the time to do it during the day every week and I doubt they’ll be allowed to do it at night during prime finding/teaching hours.

    But I’m glad the kids that struggle and need it will get the help they need.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  8. #128

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    i have no idea how i feel about it, alas, i haven't sent any kids on missions yet. i liked the experience of cutting the cord completely outside of mother's day and xmas. for me, i feel like that was the best way to do things. i was the homesick type and forcing me to be completely cut off from my family was exactly what i needed.

    but that doesn't mean it's the right way to do things. my gut is, this is a good move despite the fact my personal experience tells me i should disagree.
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  9. #129
    Strikes and Gutters chrisrenrut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Funk, these snarky quips probably kill on Reddit, but in this thread they make you look like the little dog nipping at the heels of the caravan.
    He has a reputation/stereotype to uphold.

  10. #130
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    I really have no opinion on if this is good or bad. It was inevitable so it’s kind of a meh. I’d love to talk to my kids once a week while they are on missions, but I doubt I’d FaceTime them each week. Maybe once a month and email the other times. I honestly don’t have the time to do it during the day every week and I doubt they’ll be allowed to do it at night during prime finding/teaching hours.

    But I’m glad the kids that struggle and need it will get the help they need.
    I’m going to backpedal a bit and say that,
    after checking Twitter, I’m happy this change was made. The progmo crowd is totally confused and not sure how to take this news. Seems like they were the ones calling for this change but now they are starting to realize that they are running out of stuff to complain about.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  11. #131

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    I’m going to backpedal a bit and say that,
    after checking Twitter, I’m happy this change was made. The progmo crowd is totally confused and not sure how to take this news. Seems like they were the ones calling for this change but now they are starting to realize that they are running out of stuff to complain about.
    Really? I must be looking at a different crowd. Even Saint Dehlin is congratulating the church.

  12. #132
    Senior Member Soccermom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    I’m going to backpedal a bit and say that,
    after checking Twitter, I’m happy this change was made. The progmo crowd is totally confused and not sure how to take this news. Seems like they were the ones calling for this change but now they are starting to realize that they are running out of stuff to complain about.
    He he. It is so funny. In all aspects of life you can always tell when someone is complaining because they want change versus just to have a reason to find fault with an organization when the change is eventually made. Those who sincerely wanted change are grateful and happy. Human nature.

  13. #133
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    I’m going to backpedal a bit and say that,
    after checking Twitter, I’m happy this change was made. The progmo crowd is totally confused and not sure how to take this news. Seems like they were the ones calling for this change but now they are starting to realize that they are running out of stuff to complain about.
    Funny you should mention that. About a week ago I saw a long thread on twitter where some ex-mo was in a rage about how cruel it is that missionaries are not allowed to phone home more often. I wonder how that guy responded to the news. Probably bitching about beer sales in Utah or something.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
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  14. #134
    Senior Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    I really have no opinion on if this is good or bad. It was inevitable so it’s kind of a meh. I’d love to talk to my kids once a week while they are on missions, but I doubt I’d FaceTime them each week. Maybe once a month and email the other times. I honestly don’t have the time to do it during the day every week and I doubt they’ll be allowed to do it at night during prime finding/teaching hours.

    But I’m glad the kids that struggle and need it will get the help they need.
    It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

    My son's P-day is Monday. Obviously they still have the "p-day ends at 6pm" rule. And I work late on Monday anyway - so I'm rarely home before 10pm or so. So - how does the phone call thing work? Does he call Mom at her work and then me at mine? Does he get up early to call before either of us leave the home for the day to go to work? Do we do a 3 way conference call at a certain time each week?

    I don't think calls will be weekly. And I hope there are still emails - because the extended family and siblings love those. But it will be interesting to see what new complications this brings - welcome as those complications are.

  15. #135

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    It’s truly amazing to me watching people choose which hills they’ll die on.
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  16. #136

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

    My son's P-day is Monday. Obviously they still have the "p-day ends at 6pm" rule. And I work late on Monday anyway - so I'm rarely home before 10pm or so. So - how does the phone call thing work? Does he call Mom at her work and then me at mine? Does he get up early to call before either of us leave the home for the day to go to work? Do we do a 3 way conference call at a certain time each week?

    I don't think calls will be weekly. And I hope there are still emails - because the extended family and siblings love those. But it will be interesting to see what new complications this brings - welcome as those complications are.
    Yeah but they still have P-day Eve, right?

  17. #137
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soccermom View Post
    I'm not a helicopter mom, and I think cutting the cord is important, but most of us had our cords slowly cut when we left for college in that we could reach out to our parents and other family whenever we wanted. By the time we left on our missions, we were kind of used to being on our own. Kids who leave at 18, right out of high school get their cord cut pretty abruptly. Cord cutting doesn't mean family support and encouragement have to be cut.
    I agree with this. I remember feeling some homesickness during my first semester at BYU, especially the first couple of weeks. I'd call home and talk with my mom pretty much every Saturday after getting back to the dorm from my shift cleaning the SFLC.

    Quote Originally Posted by smokymountainrain View Post
    i have no idea how i feel about it, alas, i haven't sent any kids on missions yet. i liked the experience of cutting the cord completely outside of mother's day and xmas. for me, i feel like that was the best way to do things. i was the homesick type and forcing me to be completely cut off from my family was exactly what i needed.

    but that doesn't mean it's the right way to do things. my gut is, this is a good move despite the fact my personal experience tells me i should disagree.
    I thought the cord being cut made it easier to focus on mission objectives. Pretty much every time I called home, it was hard to re-focus on the work at hand once the call was over and it was time to get back to work. Perhaps, if the calls had been more frequent, then they wouldn't have seemed so disruptive to the mission bubble.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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    Senior Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bo Diddley View Post
    Yeah but they still have P-day Eve, right?
    I certainly hope so!

    To be honest - calls home Sunday after he's home for the night would be awesome. Truly the best time to call.

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    Senior Member Clark Addison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bo Diddley View Post
    Yeah but they still have P-day Eve, right?
    When else are you going to play Risk or Spoons?

    I am OK with this for the most part. Having said that, I had a couple of companions who I know would have had hour long conversations with their parents every week. I would resented the heck out of their wasting an hour of my precious P-day time.

  20. #140

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bo Diddley View Post
    Yeah but they still have P-day Eve, right?
    LOL. Haven't thought of P-day eve in a long time. Playing spades with the district and a 12:01am run to the convenience store were good times...

  21. #141
    a day late/a dollar short Sullyute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clark Addison View Post
    When else are you going to play Risk.
    :rockon:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clark Addison View Post
    When else are you going to play Risk or Spoons?

    I am OK with this for the most part. Having said that, I had a couple of companions who I know would have had hour long conversations with their parents every week. I would resented the heck out of their wasting an hour of my precious P-day time.
    Yeah I can see this being an issue. I hated when my companions didn't want to go do things or meet up with others to play sports.
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    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Default "Hold my root beer" - the Russell M. Nelson thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Surfah View Post
    Yeah I can see this being an issue. I hated when my companions didn't want to go do things or meet up with others to play sports.
    This wouldn’t fly around Paris either. We were allowed to go into Paris every other P-day if we lived within a certain distance. Even my dead companion would be up at 6:30am ready to go into Paris to bum around the tourist sites until the early evening.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  24. #144
    Huge Member BigPiney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    This wouldn’t fly around Paris either. We were allowed to go into Paris every other P-day if we lived within a certain distance. Even my dead companion would be up at 6:30am ready to go into Paris to bum around the tourist sites until the early evening.
    I bet this isn't allowed anymore.

  25. #145
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    Good call. We have technological means of communication that are more effective and inexpensive than ever. Might as well use them. I think this benefits missionaries and families alike.
    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

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    Senior Member SteelBlue's Avatar
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    Limiting voice contact with family was never a good look. Limiting it to twice a year was cultish. I think a volunteer should be able to call his/her family as they see fit. For some that might be every few months, for others it might be every day for a while. The key is that it’s at their discretion and without shame. I’m a big fan of this change overall

  27. #147
    𐐐𐐄𐐢𐐆𐐤𐐝 𐐓𐐅 𐐜 𐐢𐐃𐐡𐐔 Uncle Ted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteelBlue View Post
    Limiting voice contact with family was never a good look. Limiting it to twice a year was cultish. I think a volunteer should be able to call his/her family as they see fit. For some that might be every few months, for others it might be every day for a while. The key is that it’s at their discretion and without shame. I’m a big fan of this change overall
    I have known non-members families of missionaries that have developed a huge dislike of the church because of limiting phone calls with their sons while they were on missions. That policy seems has done more harm than good in these types of settings.

    I have to laugh at those that say having more contact with their missionary won't be good for whatever reason. OK, then don't allow your missionary son or daughter to call you except on christmas and mother's day (and maybe father's day). I am pretty sure the church won't force your son or daughter to call you more often.
    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
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  28. #148
    Board Bookworm happyone's Avatar
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    On balance I like the change. I realize I'm old, but when I was on my mission we couldn't call home period - not on Christmas or Mother's Day. The only exception I remember is when my companion was diagnosed with a bleeding ulcer. The mission pres told him to call his parents after we had seen the doctors and he did.

    I don't know if the "No Call" rule had changed by the time JL got to Japan. I understand he served in Osaka a couple of yrs after me.

    I may be small, but I'm slow.

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  29. #149
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happyone View Post
    On balance I like the change. I realize I'm old, but when I was on my mission we couldn't call home period - not on Christmas or Mother's Day. The only exception I remember is when my companion was diagnosed with a bleeding ulcer. The mission pres told him to call his parents after we had seen the doctors and he did.

    I don't know if the "No Call" rule had changed by the time JL got to Japan. I understand he served in Osaka a couple of yrs after me.
    No I could not call home either.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
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  30. #150
    Huge Member BigPiney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ted View Post
    I have known non-members families of missionaries that have developed a huge dislike of the church because of limiting phone calls with their sons while they were on missions. That policy seems has done more harm than good in these types of settings.

    I have to laugh at those that say having more contact with their missionary won't be good for whatever reason. OK, then don't allow your missionary son or daughter to call you except on christmas and mother's day (and maybe father's day). I am pretty sure the church won't force your son or daughter to call you more often.
    Exactly.

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