Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Zero-hour church

  1. #1

    Default Zero-hour church

    If two-hour church is better than three-hour church, just imagine how exciting zero-hour church could be!

    President Nelson is your Gorbachev, and this is your perestroika. We should all celebrate.
    Last edited by ByronMarchant; 10-06-2018 at 07:40 PM.

  2. #2
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Las Wegas!
    Posts
    28,378

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    If two-hour church is better than three-hour church, just imagine how exciting zero-hour church could be!

    President Nelson is your Gorbachev, and this is your perestroika. We should all celebrate.
    Zero hour church is no church. Zero multiplied by anything is zero. As a scientist, I'm surprised you didn't know that.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  3. #3

    Default

    I keep hearing my exmo friends (in sooner's case, relatives) making similar comments- problem is, i like church- that is why i attend. I'd rather 3 hours than zero hours. But 2 hours is the sweet spot. Even 1 hour would be too short.
    I'm like LeBron James.
    -mpfunk

  4. #4
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    The Republic of Tejas
    Posts
    20,787

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by smokymountainrain View Post
    I keep hearing my exmo friends (in sooner's case, relatives) making similar comments- problem is, i like church- that is why i attend. I'd rather 3 hours than zero hours. But 2 hours is the sweet spot. Even 1 hour would be too short.


    It’s typical of exmos like Byron to assume that what they want is what everyone wants. That’s why they are wrong so often.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  5. #5
    вот так штука CardiacCoug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The SLC
    Posts
    10,188

    Default

    I agree that 2 hour church is the sweet spot particularly for the elderly and parents of small kids. Two-hour church makes it a lot more palatable to tack on ward choir or another meeting before or after the block as well.

    Clearly there will also be huge savings in the number of church buildings that need to be constructed/maintained although that I’m sure was not the main motivation for this.

  6. #6
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Eug
    Posts
    25,951

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by smokymountainrain View Post
    I keep hearing my exmo friends (in sooner's case, relatives) making similar comments- problem is, i like church- that is why i attend. I'd rather 3 hours than zero hours. But 2 hours is the sweet spot. Even 1 hour would be too short.
    I believe you mean ex-Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saintians.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    I believe you mean ex-Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saintians.
    I like the effort, and it is very original. But it sounds a little too close to Santiam

  8. #8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    I believe you mean ex-Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saintians.
    exactly what i meant!
    I'm like LeBron James.
    -mpfunk

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    I believe you mean ex-Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saintians.
    i for one appreciate that your commitment to making jesus happy and satan sad exceeds your hesitance to offend.
    Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est.

  10. #10

    Default

    I sometimes look at unfamiliar thread titles and guess the author before clicking on it. I’m batting 1.000 with Byron’s threads.
    A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. - Mohammad Ali

  11. #11

    Default

    BM, if the church is so awful, then there must be a better alternative, and you must have found it. Tell us what you've done with the three hours and 10% pay increase to make people's lives better. Mind you, these must be mutually exclusive; service that would/could be done and still be a TR-holding member don't count.

    "Outlined against a blue, gray
    October sky the Four Horsemen rode again"
    Grantland Rice, 1924

  12. #12
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Frog Pond Grange
    Posts
    6,620

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Northwestcoug View Post
    I like the effort, and it is very original. But it sounds a little too close to Santiam
    Nah... I'll give him a pass on that one.

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  13. #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cowboy View Post
    BM, if the church is so awful, then there must be a better alternative, and you must have found it. Tell us what you've done with the three hours and 10% pay increase to make people's lives better. Mind you, these must be mutually exclusive; service that would/could be done and still be a TR-holding member don't count.
    Cowboy:

    You do not really know me or what I do.

    You do not know how I donate my time to others or where my money and time have gone.

    You do not know whose lives I have affected or how.

    And I will pray in my closet (figuratively).

  14. #14
    Major disappointment The_Tick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    5,519

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    Cowboy:

    You do not really know me or what I do.

    You do not know how I donate my time to others or where my money and time have gone.

    You do not know whose lives I have affected or how.

    And I will pray in my closet (figuratively).
    How’s your Social Media fast go?

  15. #15
    Senior Member myboynoah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Land of the Morning Calm
    Posts
    14,619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    Cowboy:

    You do not really know me or what I do.

    You do not know how I donate my time to others or where my money and time have gone.

    You do not know whose lives I have affected or how.

    And I will pray in my closet (figuratively).
    Ummm, what don't you understand about "Tell us what you've done with the three hours and 10% pay increase to make people's lives better."?

    cowboy is asking you to tell us more about you. Like how you donate your time to others and where your money and time have gone, and like whose lives you have affected and how.
    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

    For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

    Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •