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Thread: Two hour church

  1. #1
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Default Two hour church

    Effin’ two hour church, bros. Two effin’ hours. Unreal. So excited. So pumped.

    About four years ago I was in a leadership meeting with a seventy. Someone asked him a question (during q&a) about when we will get two hour church. The seventy have the predictable (and obviously untrue) response that we’ll get less church once we become better followers of Christ. Well, the jokes on him since having two hour church is apparently the way to become a better follower of Christ, at least according to prophets seers and revelators, none of which this seventy was.

    Anyway, so excited for 60 min sacrament meeting and Sunday school every other week.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  2. #2
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    One hour nursery!
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  3. #3
    Strikes and Gutters chrisrenrut's Avatar
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    (to the one hour nursery)

    We have between 10 to 18 kids each week. As a grandparent, I can handle kids about an hour at a time.
    Last edited by chrisrenrut; 10-06-2018 at 07:14 PM.

  4. #4
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisrenrut View Post
    (to the one hour nursery)

    We have between 10 to 18 kids each week. As a grandparent, I can handle kids about an hour at a time.
    I love nursery but the second hour is always more work to keep them happy.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  5. #5
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
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    Oh My! I just realized I won't have to set up chairs in the gym anymore. For the last 10 years I've taken it upon myself to set up 66 chairs for priesthood opening exercises. No more combined - we just go to quorum - and that means I can go to the clerks office and just hang out with my fellow clerk rats...

    Times - they are a changing.

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  6. #6
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    I think a nursery calling would send me to inactivity. Even for just one hour.

    We moved into a new ward not too long ago and I was called into missionary work, which was a mixed bag from my POV. Then with the elimination of the HPG a few months later I was called into the EQP which I had done before a few times but, still, I was grateful not to be responsible for missionary work. Now it looks like I am getting both at once. Upon reflection, maybe nursery isn't so bad after all.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  7. #7

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    Are these dramatic changes a sign of the times?

    What does it mean?

    Is the Church slowly collapsing?
    Last edited by ByronMarchant; 10-06-2018 at 08:44 PM.

  8. #8
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    Are these dramatic changes a sign of the times?

    What does it mean?

    Is the Church slowling collapsing?
    No.

    It means 2 rather than 3 hours of meetings on Sunday.

    No.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  9. #9
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    I think a nursery calling would send me to inactivity. Even for just one hour.

    We moved into a new ward not too long ago and I was called into missionary work, which was a mixed bag from my POV. Then with the elimination of the HPG a few months later I was called into the EQP which I had done before a few times but, still, I was grateful not to be responsible for missionary work. Now it looks like I am getting both at once. Upon reflection, maybe nursery isn't so bad after all.
    You hate being around cute little kids?
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  10. #10
    Strikes and Gutters chrisrenrut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    You hate being around cute little kids?
    Have to admit, not looking forward to being around them during cold and flu season.

  11. #11
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    You hate being around cute little kids?
    I guess the cute ones are fine. But the only ones I ever thought were really cute were my own. ANd, you know, runny noses, etc. Not so grat from my POV. WHen they get a little older they are much more fun. Years ago my wife and I taught sunbeams together and that was a blast.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    No.

    It means 2 rather than 3 hours of meetings on Sunday.

    No.
    Is it to save money?

  13. #13
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    Is it to save money?
    No.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  14. #14
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=creekster;1384747]But the only ones I ever thought were really cute were my own. /QUOTE]

    Yikes
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  15. #15
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Jeff Lebowski;1384750]
    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    But the only ones I ever thought were really cute were my own. /QUOTE]

    Yikes
    Shrug. We can't all be as loving as you, I guess.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  16. #16
    a day late/a dollar short Sullyute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    Is it to save money?
    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    No.
    But it is a nice secondary benefit.
    "Friendship is the grand fundamental principle of Mormonism" - Joseph Smith Jr.

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    Is it to save money?
    Can it be more than one reason? Here's another, the brethren changed church for the same reason ex-mormons post on message boards during conference.

  18. #18
    Huge Member BigPiney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    I guess the cute ones are fine. But the only ones I ever thought were really cute were my own. ANd, you know, runny noses, etc. Not so grat from my POV. WHen they get a little older they are much more fun. Years ago my wife and I taught sunbeams together and that was a blast.
    I agree. I hate other people's kids. I barely tolerate my own kids.

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigPiney View Post
    I agree. I hate other people's kids. I barely tolerate my own kids.
    My sentiments as well.
    “Every player dreams of being a Yankee, and if they don’t it’s because they never got the chance.” Aroldis Chapman

  20. #20

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    I think 2-hour church is a desperate move to cut costs and to encourage increased attendance.

    If things were going well, they wouldn’t have changed it.

  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    I think 2-hour church is a desperate move to cut costs and to encourage increased attendance.

    If things were going well, they wouldn’t have changed it.
    I bet the costs savings will be enormous. At least a hundred thousand dollars in electricity savings alone! Maybe even more.

  22. #22

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    This will translate into fewer buildings.

  23. #23
    Adventurer Walter Sobchak's Avatar
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    BM is right. If the Church was doing well, then we would be going to Church for 4 hours.
    You're actually pretty funny when you aren't being a complete a-hole....so basically like 5% of the time. --Art Vandelay

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  24. #24
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    I think 2-hour church is a desperate move to cut costs and to encourage increased attendance.

    If things were going well, they wouldn’t have changed it.
    That’s what you think? I’m shocked.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  25. #25
    Princeps Inter Pares
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    This will translate into fewer buildings.
    But may result in more translations.
    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

  26. #26
    Semper infra dignitatem PaloAltoCougar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walter Sobchak View Post
    BM is right. If the Church was doing well, then we would be going to Church for 4 hours.
    Word has it they're going to fine tune this concept, and they'll be going to six-hour church in Ghana, 30 minutes in the Bay Area, for example.

  27. #27
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Copelius View Post
    My sentiments as well.
    You guys seem like a pleasant and well-adjusted bunch of folks.

    (trigger warning: stay away from those photo threads!)
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  28. #28
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByronMarchant View Post
    I think 2-hour church is a desperate move to cut costs and to encourage increased attendance.

    If things were going well, they wouldn’t have changed it.


    That was funny.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  29. #29
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    You guys seem like a pleasant and well-adjusted bunch of folks.

    (trigger warning: stay away from those photo threads!)
    Yes, because only people that are exactly like you are pleasant and well-adjusted. Look, I can enjoy photos of cute kids. I can be happy for someone having nice kids. But that’s not the same thing as wanting to spend time with them and their issues every Sunday. I am glad you like it. Really. But I don’t. Now you can either chalk that up to not everyone sees life like you, or you can chalk it up to your more righteous and/or well-adjusted personality. Either way doesn’t matter too much to me.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  30. #30
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    Yes, because only people that are exactly like you are pleasant and well-adjusted. Look, I can enjoy photos of cute kids. I can be happy for someone having nice kids. But that’s not the same thing as wanting to spend time with them and their issues every Sunday. I am glad you like it. Really. But I don’t. Now you can either chalk that up to not everyone sees life like you, or you can chalk it up to your more righteous and/or well-adjusted personality. Either way doesn’t matter too much to me.
    Lol. Wow.

    Creek, I am very sorry I found it a little odd you guys don't like kids. Have a great day.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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