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Thread: President Monson passed away (FAKE!)

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    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
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    Default President Monson passed away (FAKE!)

    Heard from a close friend with connections that President Monson passed away earlier today.


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    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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    Semper infra dignitatem PaloAltoCougar's Avatar
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    If true, that'd be consistent with the unusually high number of "we love you" comments made during conference. One sensed everyone was saying adieu...

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    lollygagger hostile's Avatar
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    Newspapers reporting he is still hospitalized today. He was admitted yesterday. No mention of diagnosis although initial reports were that he was expected to be discharged today.
    "You interns are like swallows. You shit all over my patients for six weeks and then fly off."

    "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. It's my fault for overestimating your competence."

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaloAltoCougar View Post
    If true, that'd be consistent with the unusually high number of "we love you" comments made during conference. One sensed everyone was saying adieu...
    He did not look healthy at the Priesthood session.

    There are twitter posts that are saying the LDS Church is indicating reports that he passed away are not true.
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
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    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hostile View Post
    Newspapers reporting he is still hospitalized today. He was admitted yesterday. No mention of diagnosis although initial reports were that he was expected to be discharged today.
    Yeah. Haven't seen anything official. My source is a surgeon, so in retrospect, not the most reliable.


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    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
    Yeah. Haven't seen anything official. My source is a surgeon, so in retrospect, not the most reliable.


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    That's harsh, bro.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
    Heard from a close friend with connections that President Monson passed away earlier today.


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    DS doing his best internet news reporting job. Headline now for clicks, sort out the truth later.
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    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    #fakenews


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    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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    вот так штука CardiacCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    #fakenews


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    Which news is fake? KSL or Dwight Schrute?

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    I was at county rodeo when there were rumors of Gordon,s death. Didn,t have cell phone and that was before y could easily access news on your phone anyway. Most phones were middle finger phones. Going home turned on Ksl radio the Internet. Was hoax. Read on Dnews a few weeks later about Jim,s death wondering if it was hoax.

    Home teaching lady called her mother to say Gordon died. We listened to Ksl leaving after I gave lesson of new prophet Tom. Heard true when I got home.

    Story previous summer reminded me of J Golden Kimball story were he went to someone's funeral and guy said I am here. J. Golden said who in the hell is dead anyway?

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    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Someday Dwight is going to be right about this thread title, and everyone is going to have to apologize for mocking him.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
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    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Someday Dwight is going to be right about this thread title, and everyone is going to have to apologize for mocking him.
    Not really. Even though President Monson will pass at some point, Dwight will still deserve mocking for being so quick on the draw.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

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    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    Not really. Even though President Monson will pass at some point, Dwight will still deserve mocking for being so quick on the draw.
    Come on. It was a joke.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
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    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Come on. It was a joke.
    come on. You dont think the joke and my comment can stand on their own without explanation?
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

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    Can we change the thread title? It makes me jump every time I see it.
    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

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    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by All-American View Post
    Can we change the thread title? It makes me jump every time I see it.
    Done.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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    Adventurer Walter Sobchak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Someday Dwight is going to be right about this thread title, and everyone is going to have to apologize for mocking him.
    Take it to the bank!
    You're actually pretty funny when you aren't being a complete a-hole....so basically like 5% of the time. --Art Vandelay

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    Senior Member Omaha 680's Avatar
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    This dog hunts!

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    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Someday Dwight is going to be right about this thread title, and everyone is going to have to apologize for mocking him.
    Would be funny if TSM outlives DS so he never lives to see that day.


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    Explosivo Commando's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    Would be funny if TSM outlives DS so he never lives to see that day.

    That would probably merit another separate thread... or at least some sort of Defcon for this thread...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    Would be funny if TSM outlives DS so he never lives to see that day.


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    That doesn't sound funny at all

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    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    Would be funny if TSM outlives DS so he never lives to see that day.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Northwestcoug View Post
    That doesn't sound funny at all
    One of my teachers in the MTC was pretty sure that the second coming would happen during Monson's presidency. So maybe Pres. Monson will get translated instead of dying. That would also make Dwight wrong, but could be funnier than Dwight having to die for the sake of the joke.

    Then again, they are both Utes.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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    Adventurer Walter Sobchak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    One of my teachers in the MTC was pretty sure that the second coming would happen during Monson's presidency. So maybe Pres. Monson will get translated instead of dying.
    I love second coming predictions; most of which (in my experience) are based on a personal patriarchal blessing. Nutters.
    You're actually pretty funny when you aren't being a complete a-hole....so basically like 5% of the time. --Art Vandelay

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    Royal Rooter Green Monstah's Avatar
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    Probably the wrong thread, but I was looking at the Q12's ages over conference weekend. Bednar could be president of the church for 20 years.
    Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    Would be funny if TSM outlives DS so he never lives to see that day.


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    super mean post
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    Outsider looking in Blueintheface's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green Monstah View Post
    Probably the wrong thread, but I was looking at the Q12's ages over conference weekend. Bednar could be president of the church for 20 years.
    Speaking of nutters. Just what this state and religion need. And you think Governor Herbert is hated?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walter Sobchak View Post
    I love second coming predictions; most of which (in my experience) are based on a personal patriarchal blessing. Nutters.
    I haven't been plugged into the church for a long time. Is the Second Coming still a thing with us or has it faded into the realm of 144,000 lore?
    Last edited by Non Sequitur; 04-07-2017 at 03:37 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green Monstah View Post
    Probably the wrong thread, but I was looking at the Q12's ages over conference weekend. Bednar could be president of the church for 20 years.
    That is a terrifying thought.

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    Royal Rooter Green Monstah's Avatar
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    I was happy to see that Pres. Monson was released from the hospital. Did anyone else find it strange that the press release made it clear that he was resuming his normal activities? Would anyone think less of him if he dialed it down several notches for a few weeks?

    It struck me as odd.
    Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

    "Cog dis is a bitch." -James Patterson

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    Invisible Swordsman DrumNFeather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpfunk View Post
    That is a terrifying thought.

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    The world will have changed so much by then that I think it is nearly impossible to project how he would be in that position. Plus, I think the weight of the position tends to change people. I've had a similar thought about Oaks...he's 80 and very likely to be in the big chair at some point...but I don't see the sense in horibilizing what might be (which, I'm not saying you are doing - but some do).
    "They're good. They've always been good" - David Shaw.

    Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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