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Most Annoying Ex-Mormons

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Eddie View Post
    I suppose I could just be misunderstanding, but for some reason I don't associate murder with annoying. I kind of put it in another category.
    I think if you got murdered you'd be pretty annoyed.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

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    • #32
      No.

      If I got murdered I would be pissed.

      The guy waiting for me to finish all of our BSA chartering stuff who now has to figure out what is done and what isn't and who has and hasn't turned in their paperwork...HE would be annoyed.

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      • #33
        Brother Jake.
        Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

        There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
          Brother Jake.
          Boo, Brother Jake is hilarious.
          "I don't mind giving the church 10% of my earnings, but 50% of my weekend mornings? Not as long as DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket is around." - Daniel Tosh

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          • #35
            Julianne Hough
            I'm like LeBron James.
            -mpfunk

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            • #36
              Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
              Julianne Hough
              I thought she was a Mark Grace Mormon.
              "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
              - Goatnapper'96

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Pelado View Post
                I thought she was a Mark Grace Mormon.
                You're probably right. Hard to tell the difference sometimes.
                I'm like LeBron James.
                -mpfunk

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                • #38
                  In the past, Hough has revealed that her disciplinarian dad allowed her to move to LA when she was 18, stating one condition: “Don’t do Maxim.” Later, he wouldn’t stay at her home while she cohabited with the 38-year-old Seacrest.

                  “He’ll look at [my] Instagram and say, ‘I really do wish you wouldn’t post words like sh-t and b–ch. We don’t need to hear that, Julianne!’ ”

                  To this day, Bruce sends random messages reminding her of her moral responsibilities.

                  “Dad has this thing where he texts: ‘Are you in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time with the right people?’ ” she says. “He has this intuition and will always text me when I’m in the wrong situation.”

                  Such as?

                  “[When] I’m dancing around and I’m clubbing and maybe I need to slow down on my drinks,” she says. “Or I’m at Coachella and I’m in the moment and I’m not thinking, ‘OK, so if I do this, what will the consequences be tomorrow?’

                  “Then, out of nowhere, I’ll get a text. Daddy knows!”
                  It's called the Holy Ghost, Julianne.
                  So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by MarkGrace View Post
                    It's called the Holy Ghost, Julianne.
                    I bet she got a text from dad just before the black face OITNB Halloween moment.
                    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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                    • #40
                      Murder is annoying

                      1. Murder leads to death
                      2. Death necessitates funerals
                      3. Funerals encourage attendance
                      4. Attendance mandates participation
                      5. Participation begets boredom and sadness
                      6. boredom and sadness are annoying

                      murder=annoying
                      Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

                      sigpic

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                        Murder is annoying

                        1. Murder leads to death
                        2. Death necessitates funerals
                        3. Funerals encourage attendance
                        4. Attendance mandates participation
                        5. Participation begets boredom and sadness
                        6. boredom and sadness are annoying

                        murder=annoying
                        In sum, if you have to murder someone, make sure it's an ex-mormon.
                        So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by ewth8tr View Post
                          Boo, Brother Jake is hilarious.
                          Bro. Jake hit on a very clever idea, sort of a Stephen Colbert for Mormonism. His first few videos are great. Unfortunately, his schtick has gotten old, much quicker than Colbert's.
                          "...you pointy-headed autopsy nerd. Do you think it's possible for you to post without using words like "hilarious," "absurd," "canard," and "truther"? Your bare assertions do not make it so. Maybe your reasoning is too stunted and your vocabulary is too limited to go without these epithets."
                          "You are an intemperate, unscientific poster who makes light of very serious matters.”
                          - SeattleUte

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                          • #43
                            I think Lucifer deserves a mention here. "And give all the glorrrrry to me! (Give it to me!)" What an ass.

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by HBCoug View Post
                              I think Lucifer deserves a mention here. "And give all the glorrrrry to me! (Give it to me!)" What an ass.
                              In that case, I put both Adam (whiny/weak) and Eve (needy) in my top 5 most annoying Mo's.

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by jay santos View Post
                                In that case, I put both Adam (whiny/weak) and Eve (needy) in my top 5 most annoying Mo's.
                                And have you read the apocryphal books of Adam and Eve? That's some Tim Burton stuff right there.
                                "I'm anti, can't no government handle a commando / Your man don't want it, Trump's a bitch! I'll make his whole brand go under,"

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