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Thread: Most Annoying Ex-Mormons

  1. #31
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    I suppose I could just be misunderstanding, but for some reason I don't associate murder with annoying. I kind of put it in another category.
    I think if you got murdered you'd be pretty annoyed.
    Get confident, stupid
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  2. #32
    Senior Member Eddie's Avatar
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    No.

    If I got murdered I would be pissed.

    The guy waiting for me to finish all of our BSA chartering stuff who now has to figure out what is done and what isn't and who has and hasn't turned in their paperwork...HE would be annoyed.

  3. #33

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    Brother Jake.
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  4. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by Donuthole View Post
    Brother Jake.
    Boo, Brother Jake is hilarious.
    "I don't mind giving the church 10% of my earnings, but 50% of my weekend mornings? Not as long as DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket is around." - Daniel Tosh

  5. #35

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    Julianne Hough
    I'm like LeBron James.
    -mpfunk

  6. #36
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smokymountainrain View Post
    Julianne Hough
    I thought she was a Mark Grace Mormon.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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  7. #37

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    I thought she was a Mark Grace Mormon.
    You're probably right. Hard to tell the difference sometimes.
    I'm like LeBron James.
    -mpfunk

  8. #38
    Grooveshark dick tease MarkGrace's Avatar
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    In the past, Hough has revealed that her disciplinarian dad allowed her to move to LA when she was 18, stating one condition: “Don’t do Maxim.” Later, he wouldn’t stay at her home while she cohabited with the 38-year-old Seacrest.

    “He’ll look at [my] Instagram and say, ‘I really do wish you wouldn’t post words like sh-t and b–ch. We don’t need to hear that, Julianne!’ ”

    To this day, Bruce sends random messages reminding her of her moral responsibilities.

    “Dad has this thing where he texts: ‘Are you in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time with the right people?’ ” she says. “He has this intuition and will always text me when I’m in the wrong situation.”

    Such as?

    “[When] I’m dancing around and I’m clubbing and maybe I need to slow down on my drinks,” she says. “Or I’m at Coachella and I’m in the moment and I’m not thinking, ‘OK, so if I do this, what will the consequences be tomorrow?’

    “Then, out of nowhere, I’ll get a text. Daddy knows!”
    It's called the Holy Ghost, Julianne.
    So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

  9. #39
    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarkGrace View Post
    It's called the Holy Ghost, Julianne.
    I bet she got a text from dad just before the black face OITNB Halloween moment.

  10. #40
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Murder is annoying

    1. Murder leads to death
    2. Death necessitates funerals
    3. Funerals encourage attendance
    4. Attendance mandates participation
    5. Participation begets boredom and sadness
    6. boredom and sadness are annoying

    murder=annoying
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  11. #41
    Grooveshark dick tease MarkGrace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    Murder is annoying

    1. Murder leads to death
    2. Death necessitates funerals
    3. Funerals encourage attendance
    4. Attendance mandates participation
    5. Participation begets boredom and sadness
    6. boredom and sadness are annoying

    murder=annoying
    In sum, if you have to murder someone, make sure it's an ex-mormon.
    So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

  12. #42

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    Quote Originally Posted by ewth8tr View Post
    Boo, Brother Jake is hilarious.
    Bro. Jake hit on a very clever idea, sort of a Stephen Colbert for Mormonism. His first few videos are great. Unfortunately, his schtick has gotten old, much quicker than Colbert's.

  13. #43
    Peanut Gallery Asshat HBCoug's Avatar
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    I think Lucifer deserves a mention here. "And give all the glorrrrry to me! (Give it to me!)" What an ass.

  14. #44

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    Quote Originally Posted by HBCoug View Post
    I think Lucifer deserves a mention here. "And give all the glorrrrry to me! (Give it to me!)" What an ass.
    In that case, I put both Adam (whiny/weak) and Eve (needy) in my top 5 most annoying Mo's.

  15. #45
    Explosivo Commando's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jay santos View Post
    In that case, I put both Adam (whiny/weak) and Eve (needy) in my top 5 most annoying Mo's.
    And have you read the apocryphal books of Adam and Eve? That's some Tim Burton stuff right there.
    "I'm anti, can't no government handle a commando / Your man don't want it, Trump's a bitch! I'll make his whole brand go under,"

  16. #46

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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando View Post
    And have you read the apocryphal books of Adam and Eve? That's some Tim Burton stuff right there.
    No, but I've seen the movie.

  17. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarkGrace View Post
    In sum, if you have to murder someone, make sure it's an ex-mormon.
    I think it's more along the lines of, if you have to murder someone, murder someone I don't know. No acquaintance with the deceased = no obligation to attend the funeral.

  18. #48
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    I almost self-immolated today on the facebook Mormon Hub group. A guy was talking about how he's a flight attendant and how he came across a passenger sitting quietly with their light on reading a quad, complete with a pass-along card bookmark, and how he couldn't but think that the man was so pretentious. He later added that this was a 'trigger' for him. I've been unhappy with the generally negative piss-and-moan tone of the place of the last few months, and I volcanoed. Someone told me to contribute more substantially to the conversation rather than calling it "circlejerking," so I left the group rather than pressing home the issue.

    I've got all kinds of problems with the church right now, but I had a really great time teaching the lesson about Mark 2 on Sunday in Gospel Doctrine. I felt like the point I made about members always acting like everything is perfect only quickly to declare, "I'm not perfect/OH, WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM" is comical given how quickly Mormons will judge someone for doing something like drinking alcohol or coffee, watching a rated-R movie, or even cussing, when those people likely don't consider what they're doing sinful nor even know that it is in Mormon eyes. I had overheard people in the lobby before church telling a story about how they "knew that my co-workers wouldn't even ask me if I'd seen 50 Shades of Grey because they know who, what, and how I am." I got a great discussion going about whether or not ward members are "that person" who has to make a spectacle of themselves whenever someone asks them if they want coffee or to go out for a drink after work. I asked the class, what's more important, the constant reminder of "I'm Mormon" leading to no invites, rather than a polite decline of the drink, but still going out to dinner with people and never mentioning it. Some folks would've thought I was speaking heresy, but the bishop was nodding approval the whole time.

    Great stuff and real discussion rather than the canned, "We know what we're supposed to do" glossing over that we get from the regular discussions we have. I'm in a place where a lot pisses me off, but I still like going because I've feel like I'm moving past (not completely yet) the grousing about every little thing that happens stage into one wherein I only share my thoughts, on occasion, about things that really get me worked up.

    I also got asked to teach EQ on Sunday, lesson 4, Joy in Troubled Times from the Benson manual. Rather than using the lesson, which wasn't all that interesting save the WWII stuff. I explained that Benson was a product of his times, that he only ever knew the Cold War mindset as an adult, and that he'd been dead for 2 decades and the world has gone on without him. I then read an article talking about NYC's no-murder streak (the longest in its history) and then read several passages from Steven Pinker's The Better Angels of Our Nature, explaining that we live in the least-violent time ever in the history of mankind. Many people didn't want to believe what I was saying, with one old-timer (it was combined EQ and HP) saying that I was going against modern revelation. That was when I dropped Packer's Oct 2011 talk to the youth saying that the world wasn't ending tomorrow and that they shouldn't despair.

    If I could just get a calling teaching SS and EQ every Sunday, I think I'd remain active without many complaints until my dying day. I'm done with most LDS facebook groups. I think CUF's got a good mixture here and we don't get overly aggressive in our complaints (with exceptions, of course). This is the best LDS community on the web, in my opinion.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  19. #49
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    I almost self-immolated today on the facebook Mormon Hub group. A guy was talking about how he's a flight attendant and how he came across a passenger sitting quietly with their light on reading a quad, complete with a pass-along card bookmark, and how he couldn't but think that the man was so pretentious. He later added that this was a 'trigger' for him. I've been unhappy with the generally negative piss-and-moan tone of the place of the last few months, and I volcanoed. Someone told me to contribute more substantially to the conversation rather than calling it "circlejerking," so I left the group rather than pressing home the issue.

    I've got all kinds of problems with the church right now, but I had a really great time teaching the lesson about Mark 2 on Sunday in Gospel Doctrine. I felt like the point I made about members always acting like everything is perfect only quickly to declare, "I'm not perfect/OH, WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM" is comical given how quickly Mormons will judge someone for doing something like drinking alcohol or coffee, watching a rated-R movie, or even cussing, when those people likely don't consider what they're doing sinful nor even know that it is in Mormon eyes. I had overheard people in the lobby before church telling a story about how they "knew that my co-workers wouldn't even ask me if I'd seen 50 Shades of Grey because they know who, what, and how I am." I got a great discussion going about whether or not ward members are "that person" who has to make a spectacle of themselves whenever someone asks them if they want coffee or to go out for a drink after work. I asked the class, what's more important, the constant reminder of "I'm Mormon" leading to no invites, rather than a polite decline of the drink, but still going out to dinner with people and never mentioning it. Some folks would've thought I was speaking heresy, but the bishop was nodding approval the whole time.

    Great stuff and real discussion rather than the canned, "We know what we're supposed to do" glossing over that we get from the regular discussions we have. I'm in a place where a lot pisses me off, but I still like going because I've feel like I'm moving past (not completely yet) the grousing about every little thing that happens stage into one wherein I only share my thoughts, on occasion, about things that really get me worked up.

    I also got asked to teach EQ on Sunday, lesson 4, Joy in Troubled Times from the Benson manual. Rather than using the lesson, which wasn't all that interesting save the WWII stuff. I explained that Benson was a product of his times, that he only ever knew the Cold War mindset as an adult, and that he'd been dead for 2 decades and the world has gone on without him. I then read an article talking about NYC's no-murder streak (the longest in its history) and then read several passages from Steven Pinker's The Better Angels of Our Nature, explaining that we live in the least-violent time ever in the history of mankind. Many people didn't want to believe what I was saying, with one old-timer (it was combined EQ and HP) saying that I was going against modern revelation. That was when I dropped Packer's Oct 2011 talk to the youth saying that the world wasn't ending tomorrow and that they shouldn't despair.

    If I could just get a calling teaching SS and EQ every Sunday, I think I'd remain active without many complaints until my dying day. I'm done with most LDS facebook groups. I think CUF's got a good mixture here and we don't get overly aggressive in our complaints (with exceptions, of course). This is the best LDS community on the web, in my opinion.
    Thank you. I work hard at keeping my end up.

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  20. #50
    Kicked to the curb San Juan Sun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    I almost self-immolated today on the facebook Mormon Hub group. A guy was talking about how he's a flight attendant and how he came across a passenger sitting quietly with their light on reading a quad, complete with a pass-along card bookmark, and how he couldn't but think that the man was so pretentious. He later added that this was a 'trigger' for him. I've been unhappy with the generally negative piss-and-moan tone of the place of the last few months, and I volcanoed. Someone told me to contribute more substantially to the conversation rather than calling it "circlejerking," so I left the group rather than pressing home the issue.

    I've got all kinds of problems with the church right now, but I had a really great time teaching the lesson about Mark 2 on Sunday in Gospel Doctrine. I felt like the point I made about members always acting like everything is perfect only quickly to declare, "I'm not perfect/OH, WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM" is comical given how quickly Mormons will judge someone for doing something like drinking alcohol or coffee, watching a rated-R movie, or even cussing, when those people likely don't consider what they're doing sinful nor even know that it is in Mormon eyes. I had overheard people in the lobby before church telling a story about how they "knew that my co-workers wouldn't even ask me if I'd seen 50 Shades of Grey because they know who, what, and how I am." I got a great discussion going about whether or not ward members are "that person" who has to make a spectacle of themselves whenever someone asks them if they want coffee or to go out for a drink after work. I asked the class, what's more important, the constant reminder of "I'm Mormon" leading to no invites, rather than a polite decline of the drink, but still going out to dinner with people and never mentioning it. Some folks would've thought I was speaking heresy, but the bishop was nodding approval the whole time.

    Great stuff and real discussion rather than the canned, "We know what we're supposed to do" glossing over that we get from the regular discussions we have. I'm in a place where a lot pisses me off, but I still like going because I've feel like I'm moving past (not completely yet) the grousing about every little thing that happens stage into one wherein I only share my thoughts, on occasion, about things that really get me worked up.

    I also got asked to teach EQ on Sunday, lesson 4, Joy in Troubled Times from the Benson manual. Rather than using the lesson, which wasn't all that interesting save the WWII stuff. I explained that Benson was a product of his times, that he only ever knew the Cold War mindset as an adult, and that he'd been dead for 2 decades and the world has gone on without him. I then read an article talking about NYC's no-murder streak (the longest in its history) and then read several passages from Steven Pinker's The Better Angels of Our Nature, explaining that we live in the least-violent time ever in the history of mankind. Many people didn't want to believe what I was saying, with one old-timer (it was combined EQ and HP) saying that I was going against modern revelation. That was when I dropped Packer's Oct 2011 talk to the youth saying that the world wasn't ending tomorrow and that they shouldn't despair.

    If I could just get a calling teaching SS and EQ every Sunday, I think I'd remain active without many complaints until my dying day. I'm done with most LDS facebook groups. I think CUF's got a good mixture here and we don't get overly aggressive in our complaints (with exceptions, of course). This is the best LDS community on the web, in my opinion.
    Kugr?
    "Sure, I fought. I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch."

    - Ty Cobb

  21. #51
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by San Juan Sun View Post
    Kugr?
    No, this guy seemed too young and preening.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  22. #52
    𐐐𐐄𐐢𐐆𐐤𐐝 𐐓𐐅 𐐜 𐐢𐐃𐐡𐐔 Uncle Ted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    I also got asked to teach EQ on Sunday, lesson 4, Joy in Troubled Times from the Benson manual. Rather than using the lesson, which wasn't all that interesting save the WWII stuff. I explained that Benson was a product of his times, that he only ever knew the Cold War mindset as an adult, and that he'd been dead for 2 decades and the world has gone on without him. I then read an article talking about NYC's no-murder streak (the longest in its history) and then read several passages from Steven Pinker's The Better Angels of Our Nature, explaining that we live in the least-violent time ever in the history of mankind. Many people didn't want to believe what I was saying, with one old-timer (it was combined EQ and HP) saying that I was going against modern revelation. That was when I dropped Packer's Oct 2011 talk to the youth saying that the world wasn't ending tomorrow and that they shouldn't despair.
    LOL. Maybe the ole-timer was thinking the world was getting to the point were the Lord would order up killing all the wicked (except the virgins, the spoils of war) again like in Moses' day.

    a_560x375-300x200.jpg
    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
    "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
    "I never preached in Texas, but I have preached in places as wicked..." -Brigham Young.
    "If we do nothing we'll be substantially behind (other Power leagues) a decade from now." -Bob Bowlsby on Big 12 expansion.
    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  23. #53
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Does anyone know this Earl Erskine guy? His website is the www.exmormonfiles.com and he has a bunch of videos/interviews on youtube. Despite leaving the church, he still introduces himself in the videos as "Bishop Erskine."

    Glanced through a few videos, including one woman who's big "issue" with the temple was "why did the men and women need to be separated by an aisle during the endowment? We're supposed to be an eternal family, why do we need to be separated?"

    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  24. #54
    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Does anyone know this Earl Erskine guy? His website is the www.exmormonfiles.com and he has a bunch of videos/interviews on youtube. Despite leaving the church, he still introduces himself in the videos as "Bishop Erskine."

    Glanced through a few videos, including one woman who's big "issue" with the temple was "why did the men and women need to be separated by an aisle during the endowment? We're supposed to be an eternal family, why do we need to be separated?"

    Was talking to a guy the other day that was all upset to find out that part of the temple clothing is a green apron. "All of my life I have been told that people wear all white in the temple!"

    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
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  25. #55
    Senior Member myboynoah's Avatar
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    Hmmmmm. I've never given those things too much thought, but now I may need to rethink this.
    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

    For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

    Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

  26. #56
    𐐐𐐄𐐢𐐆𐐤𐐝 𐐓𐐅 𐐜 𐐢𐐃𐐡𐐔 Uncle Ted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Was talking to a guy the other day that was all upset to find out that part of the temple clothing is a green apron. "All of my life I have been told that people wear all white in the temple!"

    I have a problem with the movie being too long... at least they could give us some popcorn and a coke.
    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
    "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
    "I never preached in Texas, but I have preached in places as wicked..." -Brigham Young.
    "If we do nothing we'll be substantially behind (other Power leagues) a decade from now." -Bob Bowlsby on Big 12 expansion.
    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  27. #57
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ted View Post
    I have a problem with the movie being too long... at least they could give us some popcorn and a coke.
    I heard that's coming. But the popcorn is plain and the Coke is actually Crystal Pepsi.
    Last edited by falafel; 02-06-2018 at 08:55 AM.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

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  28. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ted View Post
    I have a problem with the movie being too long... at least they could give us some popcorn and a coke.
    Why would you wish to shorten your nap time?
    "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

    Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

  29. #59

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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    I heard that's coming. But the popcorn is plain and the come is actually Crystal Pepsi.
    I'm like LeBron James.
    -mpfunk

  30. #60
    Senior Member Goatnapper'96's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Does anyone know this Earl Erskine guy? His website is the www.exmormonfiles.com and he has a bunch of videos/interviews on youtube. Despite leaving the church, he still introduces himself in the videos as "Bishop Erskine."

    Glanced through a few videos, including one woman who's big "issue" with the temple was "why did the men and women need to be separated by an aisle during the endowment? We're supposed to be an eternal family, why do we need to be separated?"

    We had a guy from our valley go apostate and he was on Bishop Erskine's podcast. Our fellow is now setting up a curriculum for folks to transition out of mormonism and into Evangelical Christianity. I did see where Bishop Erskine read the First Presidency message in the Ensign in December. I believe the message focussed upon Christmas and the birth of Christ. Bishop Erskine added up how many references to Christ were made and how the least frequently used word was "Jesus." This was somehow irrefutable proof of the lack of intimacy in the relationship most Mormons have with Christ. Isiah and Handel really have a shitty relationship with the Savior of all mankind, I tellya!
    Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
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