Page 16 of 16 FirstFirst ... 6141516
Results 451 to 477 of 477

Thread: I taught in church today

  1. #451
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Frog Pond Grange
    Posts
    4,979

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    Actually, he never said that he didn't want to teach. It's just that I never ask him to sub for me. One shouldn't be penalized for being married to a GD teacher by being saddled with substitute teacher duties.
    Every time you write GD I think of my Grandpa Jones with a cigar in his mouth. I don't know why?

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  2. #452
    Senior Member Bo Diddley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Orem, UT
    Posts
    1,221

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by clackamascoug View Post
    Every time you write GD I think of my Grandpa Jones with a cigar in his mouth. I don't know why?
    If I had a signature block for church related emails, it would include my title as GD Teacher.
    I don't like Congress. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their House, I hate their Senate, I hate everything.... I think the whole Congress, their Senate and their House, is classless. They threw beer on my family and stuff last year, and they did a whole bunch of nasty things, and I don't respect them, and they deserve to lose.

  3. #453
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Creek
    Posts
    16,548

    Default

    I am supposed to talk in sacrament in two weeks. I will be receiving a topic but I have never had a problem with going my own way. Any ideas for a good and legitimate topic?
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  4. #454
    a day late/a dollar short Sullyute's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    2,258

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    I am supposed to talk in sacrament in two weeks. I will be receiving a topic but I have never had a problem with going my own way. Any ideas for a good and legitimate topic?
    How to prepare for General Conference...

    How about something on Spring and the rejuvenation of life. You could also do an early Easter talk. Talk about Lent. It has been 100 since world war one, so you could bring in some stories from the Western Front. Those are just a few off the top of my head.
    The Mormon Creed: Mind Your Own Business

  5. #455
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Frog Pond Grange
    Posts
    4,979

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    I am supposed to talk in sacrament in two weeks. I will be receiving a topic but I have never had a problem with going my own way. Any ideas for a good and legitimate topic?
    I would weave Easter Island into the talk and pretend it was correlated somehow.

    When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
    -Mid Summer's Night Dream


  6. #456

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    I am supposed to talk in sacrament in two weeks. I will be receiving a topic but I have never had a problem with going my own way. Any ideas for a good and legitimate topic?
    here is what I would talk about

    I don't care what a man's character is; if he's my friend - a true friend, I will be a friend to him, and preach the Gospel of salvation to him, and give him good counsel, helping him out of his difficulties.

    Friendship is one of the grand principles of "Mormonism"; [it is designed] to revolutionize and civilize the world, and cause wars and contentions to cease and men to become friends and brothers. Even the wolf and the lamb shall dwell together;

    [. . .]

    It is a time-honored adage that love begets love. Let us pour forth love - show forth our kindness unto all mankind, and the Lord will reward us with everlasting increase; cast our bread upon the waters and we shall receive it after many days, increased to a hundredfold. Friendship is like Brother Turley in his blacksmith shop welding iron to iron; it unites the human family with its happy influence.

    -- Joseph Smith. 23 July, 1843. (HC 5.517)

    https://books.google.com/books?id=gX...page&q&f=false
    PS - the line about casting bread upon the waters is an allusion to Ecclesiastes 11.1, essentially a metaphor for being generous.
    "More crazy people to Provo go than to any other town in the state."
    -- Iron County Record. 23 August, 1912. (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lc...23/ed-1/seq-4/)

  7. #457
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Creek
    Posts
    16,548

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Solon View Post
    here is what I would talk about



    PS - the line about casting bread upon the waters is an allusion to Ecclesiastes 11.1, essentially a metaphor for being generous.
    That's good stuff. I like it.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  8. #458
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Creek
    Posts
    16,548

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    How to prepare for General Conference...

    How about something on Spring and the rejuvenation of life. You could also do an early Easter talk. Talk about Lent. It has been 100 since world war one, so you could bring in some stories from the Western Front. Those are just a few off the top of my head.
    Spring is good. Lent would be fun. I could talk about the 40 day stuff
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  9. #459
    The Dude Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The heart of the UC
    Posts
    34,572

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    I could talk about the 40 day stuff
    Is that code for "I could give a really long talk."?
    So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

  10. #460
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Creek
    Posts
    16,548

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Is that code for "I could give a really long talk."?
    No code needed. I can easily take any time allotted. But I never, and I mean never, go over the allotted time. No matter how good your talk is, the half life on the good will it generates is one minute after time has expired.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  11. #461
    The Dude Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The heart of the UC
    Posts
    34,572

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    No code needed. I can easily take any time allotted. But I never, and I mean never, go over the allotted time. No matter how good your talk is, the half life on the good will it generates is one minute after time has expired.
    God bless you.
    So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

  12. #462
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    The Republic of Tejas
    Posts
    15,511

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Solon View Post
    here is what I would talk about



    PS - the line about casting bread upon the waters is an allusion to Ecclesiastes 11.1, essentially a metaphor for being generous.
    That is very good. There's no doubt in my mind that JS was an incredible speaker.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  13. #463
    Senior Member Katy Lied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Center of the Salt Lake Valley
    Posts
    7,271

    Default

    So the lesson whereupon I was gone and had others give a 5 minute presentation on a video was moderately successful. I guess people got a kick out of my intro video where I tell the class that I am not there but class will be great. I asked 4 people to give 5 min presentations. 1 lady completely forgot and didn't show, so the high councilman who was doing wrap up just took her penultimate position. Everything went fine. Last week an old lady told me that I am her favorite teacher when I'm there, and also her favorite teacher when I'm not there as well.

    I recommend only asking 3 at the most to do 5 min presentations, as everyone goes overtime.

    Also the lady who forgot brought over an apology blueberry creme pie which was delish. Win-win.

  14. #464
    Senior Member Katy Lied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Center of the Salt Lake Valley
    Posts
    7,271

    Default

    I got to go on ad nauseum about about a commonly voiced complaint during my lesson on Sunday.

    To start the lesson, I borrowed heavily from my favorite commentator, Nancy Jensen, as she discusses Lesson 10.


    Our lesson starts with the beautiful scripture:
    "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:28-30).

    WAIT...WHAT?

    How does this saying jell with all those other things Christ said? Things like:

    "He that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me" (Matt. 10:38). A cross is not an easy burden!

    And even in our latter-day luxury, as members of the Church, we are required to give all that we possess, our time, our talents,everything! There are a whole lot of commandments, expectations and demands imposed upon us by our religion.

    How is that easy?

    THE PARADOX OF THE CHRISTIAN WAY
    Nancy Jensen discusses how Christ's burden can be heavy and light at the same time. She proposes that when we give ourselves over completely to Christ, our burdens become light. It is only when we retain our own selfishness that our burdens are heavy, because we spend so much time measuring our contributions and our service. Its the measurement that is exhausting, not the actual christian behavior.

    I talked about my long term complaints about the EQ having to move people in the ward, and gave a list of complaints about it. The class had to identify what unholy yardstick I was using:

    1. "My husband was in the EQ Presidency of a Singles ward for 10 years. He has moved more than 200+ people. He's done his share of service and deserves to retire from the LDS Moving Company." (Unholy yardstick = Measurement of past services rendered)
    2. "My husband is a High Priest and getting older. He might strain his back or pull a muscle. Let the younger men do it." (Unholy yardstick = measurement of age."
    3."This family is moving to a mansion in Holladay, yet they ask for our help to move." (Unholy yardstick = measurement of wealth assets)
    4. "This man was given a $10,000 moving allowance, yet he wont spend any of it on movers." (Unholy yardstick = reimbursement profits)
    5. "We never use the Elder's Quorum to move-- we always organize our own friends and relatives for the move." (Unholy yardstick = Measurement of resourcefulness and self-sufficiency.)
    6. "This family has been in the ward for ten years, yet the father has never once participated in a move. Now he wants us to move him." (Unholy yardstick = Measuring deservedness or undeservedness)

    Anyway, it was really fun to voice my complaints. All of the women in the class enthusiastically agreed with my complaints while all the men sat there stoically trying not to roll their eyes.

  15. #465
    The Dude Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The heart of the UC
    Posts
    34,572

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    I got to go on ad nauseum about about a commonly voiced complaint during my lesson on Sunday.

    To start the lesson, I borrowed heavily from my favorite commentator, Nancy Jensen, as she discusses Lesson 10.




    Nancy Jensen discusses how Christ's burden can be heavy and light at the same time. She proposes that when we give ourselves over completely to Christ, our burdens become light. It is only when we retain our own selfishness that our burdens are heavy, because we spend so much time measuring our contributions and our service. Its the measurement that is exhausting, not the actual christian behavior.

    I talked about my long term complaints about the EQ having to move people in the ward, and gave a list of complaints about it. The class had to identify what unholy yardstick I was using:

    1. "My husband was in the EQ Presidency of a Singles ward for 10 years. He has moved more than 200+ people. He's done his share of service and deserves to retire from the LDS Moving Company." (Unholy yardstick = Measurement of past services rendered)
    2. "My husband is a High Priest and getting older. He might strain his back or pull a muscle. Let the younger men do it." (Unholy yardstick = measurement of age."
    3."This family is moving to a mansion in Holladay, yet they ask for our help to move." (Unholy yardstick = measurement of wealth assets)
    4. "This man was given a $10,000 moving allowance, yet he wont spend any of it on movers." (Unholy yardstick = reimbursement profits)
    5. "We never use the Elder's Quorum to move-- we always organize our own friends and relatives for the move." (Unholy yardstick = Measurement of resourcefulness and self-sufficiency.)
    6. "This family has been in the ward for ten years, yet the father has never once participated in a move. Now he wants us to move him." (Unholy yardstick = Measuring deservedness or undeservedness)

    Anyway, it was really fun to voice my complaints. All of the women in the class enthusiastically agreed with my complaints while all the men sat there stoically trying not to roll their eyes.
    Hey KL, just yesterday I was reading a chapter in Robin Meyer's book "Saving Jesus from the Church" where he discussed this very scripture. He said that it is completely inconsistent with the rest of Jesus's message: being a true disciple is hard work. Some excerpts:

    Biblical scholars have long been fascinated with Matthew 11: 28– 30, 7 which contains the well-known and very comforting text: “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

    When contemporary Christians hear these words, they receive them as a balm for weary souls, an invitation to lay down the cares and stresses of the world and let Christ shoulder them instead. But an intriguing case can be made that this is by no means what Matthew had in mind, and his audience would have gotten a very different message. Some scholars have argued that Jesus speaks here of the yoke of wisdom and equates it with his particular revelation of the Torah. Others contend that he is offering the yoke of himself, the one whose words and deeds reveal God’s purposes and demands. Others see the words as referring to the eschatological “rest” that will come at the end of time. A less-known, but very plausible argument, however, is made by scholars who argue that words like “labor,”“carrying heavy burdens,” “rest,” and “yoke” are frequently associated with the exercise of power, especially imperial and political rule. Warren Carter, in Matthew and Empire, says: “Jesus, the one who proclaims and demonstrates God’s reign or empire, issues an invitation to those who are oppressed by Roman imperial power to encounter God’s empire now in his ministry in anticipation of the time when God destroys all empires including Rome’s.”

    Those who are “weary and are carrying a heavy burden” may well include not just the disciples but all those who struggle to support the wealthy. “Those who labor” may well refer to the 95 percent of the population that is just trying to survive; the verb “labor” comes from a Greek word that is frequently concerned with life under imperial rule, whether Assyrian, Babylonian, Persian, or Hellenistic. “Carrying a heavy burden” refers to those who “labor wearily” and are systematically oppressed by those who perpetuate unjust social structures. The rich can never get enough of or enjoy “the fruit of their toil,” in which they have “crushed and abandoned the poor, they have seized a house that they did not build ” (Job 20: 18–19). The promised “rest” in its most common usage denotes a very political reality, rest from one’s enemies (Deut . 12: 10), or the absence of war.
    This is just the intro to the chapter, but you get the picture. Interesting stuff.
    So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

  16. #466
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Creek
    Posts
    16,548

    Default I taught in church today

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Hey KL, just yesterday I was reading a chapter in Robin Meyer's book "Saving Jesus from the Church" where he discussed this very scripture. He said that it is completely inconsistent with the rest of Jesus's message: being a true disciple is hard work. Some excerpts:



    This is just the intro to the chapter, but you get the picture. Interesting stuff.
    I was thinking about this scripture after last weeks Sunday school lesson (the boring meeting in the middle, in case triplet doesn't remember what this is). I think perhaps we misread it. Taking up a yoke is not easy. It is hard. Oxen are only yoked so they can work. I think his point might have been we are yoked to something at all times. We can pull with him, in unity, or we can pull on our own or with satan. But Christ's yoke is, ultimately, easy. His burden is light because He buoys us up. We are yoked WITH him. He lightens our load so it seems easy. We are told to bear each other's burdens but, really, all our burdens are borne by him. He removes the cares from our lives, if we but take up his cause, his yoke, his purpose. That is, after all, what the atonement does, right?

    Another way to look at it: does Christ really ever say being a disciple is hard? Or does he say choosing to do so is hard? Having made the choice and followed through, our burdens are lifted.
    Last edited by creekster; 03-17-2015 at 06:16 PM.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  17. #467
    Senior Member Clark Addison's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Beautiful South
    Posts
    5,795

    Default

    Brainwashing the kids to follow the Progmo cause today. Teaching a new song in primary and giving the subtle message that guys with beards can still stand in the circle, if not necessarily being the voice.

  18. #468

    Default

    I'm sitting in the overflow and some kid is throwing a paper airplane around. The parents couldn't care less. It's hitting people in the head.
    Part of it is based on academic grounds. Among major conferences, the Pac-10 is the best academically, largely because of Stanford, Cal and UCLA. “Colorado is on a par with Oregon,” he said. “Utah isn’t even in the picture.”

  19. #469

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Clark Addison View Post
    Brainwashing the kids to follow the Progmo cause today. Teaching a new song in primary and giving the subtle message that guys with beards can still stand in the circle, if not necessarily being the voice.
    Are you sure that's not gay dude who engaged in some pre-meeting a......ctivities? I think the artist intentionally left it open to interpretation. #moreprogressivethanyouthought
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  20. #470
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    56,297

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Donuthole View Post
    Are you sure that's not gay dude who engaged in some pre-meeting a......ctivities? I think the artist intentionally left it open to interpretation. #moreprogressivethanyouthought
    Doesn't have to be gay. Could also be in an interracial relationship with a woman
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  21. #471

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Clark Addison View Post
    Brainwashing the kids to follow the Progmo cause today. Teaching a new song in primary and giving the subtle message that guys with beards can still stand in the circle, if not necessarily being the voice.
    And a purple tie.

  22. #472
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Eug
    Posts
    22,585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by scottie View Post
    And a purple tie.
    Facial hair too, but all still in white shirts.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  23. #473

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    Doesn't have to be gay. Could also be in an interracial relationship with a woman
    goatee and gold belt buckle? it's not exactly subtle
    Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est.

  24. #474
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The Eug
    Posts
    22,585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by old_gregg View Post
    goatee and gold belt buckle? it's not exactly subtle
    I'm heterosexual, sorry.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  25. #475
    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Las Vegas, NV
    Posts
    3,248

    Default

    My first thought was that Elder Beard is sporting 1/2" lobe plugs.
    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

  26. #476
    aka Benito Hazard thesaint258's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    My castle!
    Posts
    2,789

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Color Me Badd Fan View Post
    I'm sitting in the overflow and some kid is throwing a paper airplane around. The parents couldn't care less. It's hitting people in the head.
    That's incredibly annoying. I'd probably just take it when it came my way.
    Not that, sickos.

  27. #477
    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Las Vegas, NV
    Posts
    3,248

    Default

    The bishop had asked that we spend three weeks of June taking the Teacher's Quorum through this fun one hour and 20 minute Q&A with Elder and Sister Bednar. This is our third and final week and I've sat through about fifteen total minutes of it. Bless her heart, but there is just nothing easy about listing to Sister Bednar. She doesn't have the kind of voice that lets me feel the spirit.

    One of the few questions I've endured through was directed at Sister Bednar about a girl who struggles with her self esteem in regards to her looks. At the end, Elder Bednar, steps in with good intentions, but proceeds to make the following comments towards his wife:

    -Sister Bednar is wrinkly
    -Sister Bednar is a nice looking elderly woman
    -"Sister Bednar was gorgeous as a young woman, now that beauty is not in her physical attractiveness..."
    -"At her age, there's not another woman on the Earth as beautiful as Sister Bednar."

    What a flirt.
    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •