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Thread: Being reactivated

  1. #1
    Joycelyn Elders Supporter SoonerCoug's Avatar
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    Default Being reactivated

    My wife's visiting teacher followed up 5 unanswered emails and phone calls with a 6AM text message this morning begging to come visit and bring dinner. I'm pretty sure there was a high-priority edict issued recently about reactivating us.

    I have been back to church a time or two in the last year. Both times a bunch of people made a big scene. Why do Mormons have to make such a big damn deal out of it when an inactive members shows up at church? I think they'd have an easier time reactivating people if they would just lay off and stop harassing us.

    My wife sometimes contemplates going back but felt awkward at church alone because people were constantly asking where I was (saving lives). Furthermore, there was a time when I did not have a choice and basically had no Sundays off. Now things feel even more awkward. She now says that she doesn't want to go back to church until we move to a new ward.

    I also frequently received emails from people asking where we would be going for Christmas and why we weren't making it to church on holidays (none of which were days off for me). The final straw for my wife was being called in by the Bishop (without me while I was working 30-hour shifts as a resident) and the bishop suggesting that we should have been paying 25,000 dollars (no joke) tithing instead of 2500. It was bad enough to be fielding questions from him about when we would be having children (none of his beeswax).

    The last email I received from my home teacher was a message basically telling me that I should be more like Elder Doctor Russell Nelson by combining medicine with superhuman church service. I did not respond. I will not comment publicly on this due to the sensitivity of the subject matter on this particular board, but I have very strong opinions on this specific issue. I do not believe these things are as compatible as some people like to pretend.

    Based on all the attention we are getting, I realize we must be about the most popular people in our ward, but I am contemplating sending the bishop an email asking him to get people to stop emailing and texting.

    I admit that I'm a big baby about this stuff, but I don't want all of these random Mormon people issuing commentary about my life. I guess you could say I'm a libertarian when it comes to Mormonism. I'm a private person and want to keep it that way. I don't like people telling me what to do or messing with my personal business (finances, tithing, whether I go to church or how often, etc).

    That's my spiel.
    That which may be asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. -C. Hitchens

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  2. #2
    Grooveshark dick tease MarkGrace's Avatar
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    Odd behavior seems to follow you.
    So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

  3. #3
    Joycelyn Elders Supporter SoonerCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarkGrace View Post
    Odd behavior seems to follow you.
    My old home teaching companion who is now a neurology resident (and was once a medical student here) told me that the bishop had been EXTREMELY concerned about me and that I was the subject of multiple meetings (creepy). I told him that I was glad that he thought I was so important. The neuro resident said that he tried to tell the bishop that there was nothing to worry about and that I was just fine and overworked, which is only partially true.
    That which may be asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. -C. Hitchens

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  4. #4
    Suomalainen New Mexican Disaster's Avatar
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    We went through a period where we felt the same thing. We did move a new ward and it was easier.

    In truth though, I think that some people do like to have acknowledgment when they have not been for a while, while others do not. When you get down to it, though, whether or not it is done with a light or heavy hand, the outpouring is done because of caring.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerCoug View Post
    My wife's visiting teacher followed up 5 unanswered emails and phone calls with a 6AM text message this morning begging to come visit and bring dinner. I'm pretty sure there was a high-priority edict issued recently about reactivating us.

    I have been back to church a time or two in the last year. Both times a bunch of people made a big scene. Why do Mormons have to make such a big damn deal out of it when an inactive members shows up at church? I think they'd have an easier time reactivating people if they would just lay off and stop harassing us.

    My wife sometimes contemplates going back but felt awkward at church alone because people were constantly asking where I was (saving lives). Furthermore, there was a time when I did not have a choice and basically had no Sundays off. Now things feel even more awkward. She now says that she doesn't want to go back to church until we move to a new ward.

    I also frequently received emails from people asking where we would be going for Christmas and why we weren't making it to church on holidays (none of which were days off for me). The final straw for my wife was being called in by the Bishop (without me while I was working 30-hour shifts as a resident) and the bishop suggesting that we should have been paying 25,000 dollars (no joke) tithing instead of 2500. It was bad enough to be fielding questions from him about when we would be having children (none of his beeswax).

    The last email I received from my home teacher was a message basically telling me that I should be more like Elder Doctor Russell Nelson by combining medicine with superhuman church service. I did not respond. I will not comment publicly on this due to the sensitivity of the subject matter on this particular board, but I have very strong opinions on this specific issue. I do not believe these things are as compatible as some people like to pretend.

    Based on all the attention we are getting, I realize we must be about the most popular people in our ward, but I am contemplating sending the bishop an email asking him to get people to stop emailing and texting.

    I admit that I'm a big baby about this stuff, but I don't want all of these random Mormon people issuing commentary about my life. I guess you could say I'm a libertarian when it comes to Mormonism. I'm a private person and want to keep it that way. I don't like people telling me what to do or messing with my personal business (finances, tithing, whether I go to church or how often, etc).

    That's my spiel.
    Your sensitivity and discretion is duly noted and appreciated.

    Mornons can be so odd sometimes.
    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

  6. #6
    Faith crisis consultant SeattleUte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by New Mexican Disaster View Post
    We went through a period where we felt the same thing. We did move a new ward and it was easier.

    In truth though, I think that some people do like to have acknowledgment when they have not been for a while, while others do not. When you get down to it, though, whether or not it is done with a light or heavy hand, the outpouring is done because of caring.
    No it isn't.
    When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

    --Jonathan Swift

  7. #7
    Joycelyn Elders Supporter SoonerCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by New Mexican Disaster View Post
    When you get down to it, though, whether or not it is done with a light or heavy hand, the outpouring is done because of caring.
    I agree. These are not bad people. They are just misguided. I am proud to be Mormon, even if I am a nonbelieving one.
    That which may be asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. -C. Hitchens

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  8. #8
    Senior Member Omaha 680's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by New Mexican Disaster View Post
    We went through a period where we felt the same thing. We did move a new ward and it was easier.

    In truth though, I think that some people do like to have acknowledgment when they have not been for a while, while others do not. When you get down to it, though, whether or not it is done with a light or heavy hand, the outpouring is done because of caring.
    This is the tightrope Bishops walk. If they don't pay enough attention, some will get offended. If they call out the cavalry, it will come on too strong for some and push them away. Most will err on the side of giving attention and if I ever go inactive I'll try to cut them some slack.

    I will say the questioning the tithing amount and home teacher email seem over the line.

  9. #9
    Suomalainen New Mexican Disaster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    No it isn't.
    You are automatic. I respect that.

  10. #10
    Faith crisis consultant SeattleUte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerCoug View Post
    I agree. These are not bad people. They are just misguided. I am proud to be Mormon, even if I am a nonbelieving one.
    It's a distastful kind of caring that connotes a moral judgment.
    When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

    --Jonathan Swift

  11. #11
    Striving for mediocrity Art Vandelay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarkGrace View Post
    Odd behavior seems to follow you.
    Why don't you have more of these type stories? You really need to kick against the pricks harder.

  12. #12
    Joycelyn Elders Supporter SoonerCoug's Avatar
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    This is what I would like to write to my bishop:

    Dear Bishop,

    I am pleased to report that your underlings have performed swimmingly. A+ for effort! Unfortunately, Satan has us in his grip and there is no saving us. Thanks for playing.

    Sincerely,
    SoonerCoug

    P.S. Please see my body of work on www.cougaruteforum.com and then reconsider whether you really want me there on Sundays.



    .
    That which may be asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. -C. Hitchens

    http://twitter.com/SoonerCoug

  13. #13

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    What we're talking about here is the failure to observe the normal boundaries most adults have. Mormonism, with good intentions, encourages people to ignore them.

  14. #14
    Heartless Bastard Indy Coug's Avatar
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    The ultimate subversive response would be to immediately be 100% active, ask for a challenging calling and increasing your fast offering contributions to two days' worth of food.

    It will blow their effing minds.
    Everything in life is an approximation.

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  15. #15
    Ragnar Lodbrok Descendant SoCalCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerCoug View Post
    This is what I would like to write to my bishop:

    Dear Bishop,

    I am pleased to report that your underlings have performed swimmingly. A+ for effort! Unfortunately, Satan has us in his grip and there is no saving us. Thanks for playing.

    Sincerely,
    SoonerCoug

    P.S. Please see my body of work on www.cougaruteforum.com and then reconsider whether you really want me there on Sundays.



    .
    Yeah, because all we need around here is another bishop.
    If we disagree on something, it's because you're wrong.

    "Somebody needs to kill my trial attorney." — Last words of George Harris, executed in Missouri on Sept. 13, 2000.

    "Nothing is too good to be true, nothing is too good to last, nothing is too wonderful to happen." - Florence Scoville Shinn

  16. #16

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    this is one of the reasons still attend fairly regularly.
    Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
    God forgives many things for an act of mercy
    Alessandro Manzoni

    Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

    pelagius

  17. #17
    Joycelyn Elders Supporter SoonerCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indy Coug View Post
    The ultimate subversive response would be to immediately be 100% active, ask for a challenging calling and increasing your fast offering contributions to two days' worth of food.

    It will blow their effing minds.
    I don't get it. Why would that be subversive? My posts on CUF are subversive. In scientology lingo, I would be what is termed a suppresive person.

    What you're proposing is not subversive at all.
    That which may be asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. -C. Hitchens

    http://twitter.com/SoonerCoug

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    Joycelyn Elders Supporter SoonerCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pellegrino View Post
    this is one of the reasons still attend fairly regularly.
    I do think we have mastered the art of attending just enough to make them crazy. One of the reasons I still pay tithing is just to mess with their heads.
    That which may be asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. -C. Hitchens

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  19. #19
    Senior Member Blueintheface's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    It's a distastful kind of caring that connotes a moral judgment.
    We're all guilty of making moral judgments, so no one is immune, but culturally speaking, we are as guilty as any religious group. Notwithstanding several fantastic examples within the church, we as members hear the repeated messages of kindness, love, and compassionate service and somehow filter that into condemnation and shunning. It's a habit that is reinforced time and again in our culture and it's shameful and embarrassing.
    "Either evolution or intelligent design can account for the athlete, but neither can account for the sports fan." - Robert Brault

    "Once I seen the trades go down and the other guys signed elsewhere," he said, "I knew it was my time now." - Derrick Favors

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerCoug View Post
    I do think we have mastered the art of attending just enough to make them crazy. One of the reasons I still pay tithing is just to mess with their heads.
    Hmm. Spite tithing. Never heard that one before.
    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

  21. #21
    Semper infra dignitatem PaloAltoCougar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerCoug View Post
    I don't get it. Why would that be subversive? My posts on CUF are subversive. In scientology lingo, I would be what is termed a suppresive person.

    What you're proposing is not subversive at all.
    It's not, but Indy's suggestion would lead to a great General Conference talk. Don't you want to be in a General Conference talk? "And there they stood in the living room, embracing as tears ran down their cheeks, as one exclaimed to the other, 'Mein Doktor! Mein Doktor!'"

  22. #22
    Faith crisis consultant SeattleUte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahDan View Post
    What we're talking about here is the failure to observe the normal boundaries most adults have. Mormonism, with good intentions, encourages people to ignore them.
    Well put. Who else just shows up some evening absent appointment expecting to be received and given an audience?
    When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

    --Jonathan Swift

  23. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaloAltoCougar View Post
    It's not, but Indy's suggestion would lead to a great General Conference talk. Don't you want to be in a General Conference talk? "And there they stood in the living room, embracing as tears ran down their cheeks, as one exclaimed to the other, 'Mein Doktor! Mein Doktor!'"
    Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
    God forgives many things for an act of mercy
    Alessandro Manzoni

    Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

    pelagius

  24. #24
    Receiver of Memory LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahDan View Post
    What we're talking about here is the failure to observe the normal boundaries most adults have. Mormonism, with good intentions, encourages people to ignore them.
    I don't know what you mean but if you were here I'd give you a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
    “There is a great deal of difference in believing something still, and believing it again.”
    ― W.H. Auden


    "God made the angels to show His splendour - as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But men and women He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of their minds."
    -- Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons


    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaloAltoCougar View Post
    It's not, but Indy's suggestion would lead to a great General Conference talk. Don't you want to be in a General Conference talk? "And there they stood in the living room, embracing as tears ran down their cheeks, as one exclaimed to the other, 'Mein Doktor! Mein Doktor!'"
    Eyebrows were raised. Heads were scratched. Hearts were touched.
    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

  26. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    I don't know what you mean but if you were here I'd give you a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
    Some boundaries should be broken down. I love a manly embrace, as you know.

  27. #27
    Senior Member Blueintheface's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    Well put. Who else just shows up some evening absent appointment expecting to be received and given an audience?
    Christ and his 2nd coming, if you believe in such things.
    "Either evolution or intelligent design can account for the athlete, but neither can account for the sports fan." - Robert Brault

    "Once I seen the trades go down and the other guys signed elsewhere," he said, "I knew it was my time now." - Derrick Favors

  28. #28

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    GET YOUR ASS BACK TO CHURCH

  29. #29
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    I don't care whether SoonerCoug attends church but last week on KSL, there was a special interest piece about two LDS missionaries that were serving in Russia a decade or so ago. These two were kidnapped and held for ransom. All these B-level politicos got involved and eventually the missionaries were released, only slightly harmed. I think they may have been punched or kicked. Anyhow, KSL picked up the trail a decade later to show us how well the elders were doing.

    These are the exact types of stories that Soonercoug often invents, so part of me wondered if one of these missionaries was SoonerCoug. However, per the story, the missionaries were able to win over their captors by sharing the gospel and their testimonies with them, so I knew immediately that neither of them was SoonerCoug.
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  30. #30
    Joycelyn Elders Supporter SoonerCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Levin View Post
    GET YOUR ASS BACK TO CHURCH
    Just to provide some context for everyone:

    Levin, Majo, and I were best friends in high school. We were also co-valedictorians (although I at least one more AP class than the others). Levin is the only one who still goes to church, but I predict his apostasy.
    That which may be asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. -C. Hitchens

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