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Thread: Sacrament Dilemma

  1. #91

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    Quote Originally Posted by clackamascoug View Post
    Dear President Bednar,

    It was so nice to receive the personal phone call from you the other day - checking on my District during this temporary mission lock-down. In my report this week, I'll keep you up-to-date with my districts challenges, stir crazy moments, and you'll be pleased to know that everyone is accounted for at this weeks district meeting. Elder Tick has apologized for his three day absence last week, but has not shaved since return. I know we can't send him home for masturbation issues - but - he's influencing some of the other Elders too much. He leaves the apartment everyday for at least 45 minutes - and he comes back smelling like a skunk. You can smell it on his white shirt, and tie, just like Peppy La Pew. I beginning to wonder if he adopted a skunk family down by the creek and is feeding them table scraps. Elder Pelado is a pillar of righteousness in our District, and he has been coming up with the best suggestions lately. He'll come up with one - then I'll try to out do him - (I am the leader, and leading is what I do best.) So we got to brainstorming our district Sacrament Meeting procedure and thought it could use a little improvement (spiritually) as we want to strengthen Elder Tick's testimony a bit. We decided to go old school for our church service and Sacrament. Perhaps you can pass the following information along to all the other missionaries in our great fielding white mission - as our district is the high water district that can lift all boats.

    First - in the closet we found one piece garments left over from the 70's - so we changed into the one piecers - and then we sang a hymn and blessed the Sacrament old school style - with real wine we found in an almost (not quite) empty wine bottle in the dumpster. We couldn't find unleavened bread, so we used the Flavored Blasted Gold Fish crackers I got for Christmas, and we said the prayers and partook. We've just studied about the Last Supper, so I decided since we were all in our one piece garments anyway - I might wash the feet of the elders in my district. Elder Pelado wanted to go first - but I told him the first shall be last - and let him wait. I took Elder Ticks feet and used toothpaste to get between the toes, and I really freshened them up. (Colgate Icy Mint if you want to try on Sister Bednar.) Then I trimmed his toe nails for him. He took a me solid 15 minutes, but he was the first, and I got it down to 8 minutes each for the rest of them. After this we gathered in a circle and played UNO for the rest of the afternoon. At 3 pm Elder Tick grabbed some snacks and headed down to the creek. Overall, it was a great way to renew our baptismal covenants, and to enjoy a linger longer with the baklava sent from Sister Bednar.

    If you need further information on our new & improved Sacrament service, we do have video, so let me know if you want to see it. Best wishes to Sister Bednar, and tell her the Baklava was excellent.

    Hope to hear from you soon,

    elder clackamascoug
    This was my favorite one yet. Ignore the naysayers, Clack. President Bednar needs this information.
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  2. #92

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    Quote Originally Posted by RC Vikings View Post
    Yesterday my ward was invited to go out to the end of their driveways and sing "Come Come ye Saints" at 10am. My wife was determined to do it and I didn't want her out there standing by herself so I went out and hummed a verse. We probably had twenty people out signing on our block. Little strange I know but I did see some people wiping eyes when it was done. We took advantage of the no shop on Sunday crowd after that and bought some stuff to fill out our Sabbath.
    Sister Diddley said we're all supposed to go out on our porch at 1pm tomorrow and sing High on a Mountain Top. When I expressed my disinterest, she said, "I guess I'll be singing all by myself then."

    I guess I'll be going out and singing tomorrow.

  3. #93
    𐐐𐐄𐐢𐐆𐐤𐐝 𐐓𐐅 𐐜 𐐢𐐃𐐡𐐔 Uncle Ted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bo Diddley View Post
    Sister Diddley said we're all supposed to go out on our porch at 1pm tomorrow and sing High on a Mountain Top. When I expressed my disinterest, she said, "I guess I'll be singing all by myself then."

    I guess I'll be going out and singing tomorrow.
    I expect you to sing loud enough to hear all the way in Heber.


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  4. #94

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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ted View Post
    I expect you to sing loud enough to hear all the way in Heber.


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    Will you join us then?

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bo Diddley View Post
    Will you join us then?
    Yes, if I can hear you I will join in!


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    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
    "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
    "Yet I still see wisdom in that which Uncle Ted posts." -creek.
    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  6. #96

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bo Diddley View Post
    Sister Diddley said we're all supposed to go out on our porch at 1pm tomorrow and sing High on a Mountain Top. When I expressed my disinterest, she said, "I guess I'll be singing all by myself then."

    I guess I'll be going out and singing tomorrow.
    My wife expressed interest in dressing up for home church tomorrow.

    Her reasoning that it will help our son recognize that what we are doing is as important as when we go to the church building makes sense, but I'm not yet on board. If she wants me to sing on the porch that's a hard no.

  7. #97
    Senior Member myboynoah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Omaha 680 View Post
    My wife expressed interest in dressing up for home church tomorrow.

    Her reasoning that it will help our son recognize that what we are doing is as important as when we go to the church building makes sense, but I'm not yet on board. If she wants me to sing on the porch that's a hard no.
    Happy wife happy life!
    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

    For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

    Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

  8. #98
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Just got an email thanking those of us who have blessed the sacrament in others' homes the last couple of weeks (excludes me) and passing down a directive from the stake president not to bless the sacrament outside our own homes the next two weeks.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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  9. #99

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    I agree on the refusal to sing on your porch. Seems very cringe-worthy. However if our ward does it and my daughters find out, I may feel internal pressure to do it because I'm trying to set a good example of being active and involved in the ward (I get on their case when they want to skip mutual because they don't feel like going).

    The sister missionaries are going to give a talk/lesson during our home sacrament meeting tomorrow (or sometime thereafter--it's harder to tell exactly when sac mtg starts and ends in the Lost household than at the chapel). I think we're going to go with Google Hangouts but they also have Zoom installed on their devices. I'm hoping the sisters make a good impression on my three girls.
    "Seriously, is there a bigger high on the whole face of the earth than eating a salad?"--SeattleUte
    "The only Ute to cause even half the nationwide hysteria of Jimmermania was Ted Bundy."--TripletDaddy
    This is a tough, NYC broad, a doctor who deals with bleeding organs, dying people and testicles on a regular basis without crying."--oxcoug
    "I'm not impressed (and I'm even into choreography . . .)"--Donuthole
    "I too was fortunate to leave with my same balls."--byu71

  10. #100

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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ted View Post
    Yes, if I can hear you I will join in!


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    UT, I could just make out your voice! Thanks for joining in, even if it was only in my head.

  11. #101
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    I dressed up a bit more this week than last. I went with shorts and (channeling my inner pelagius) a black shirt. After the sacrament, my wife insisted on a family testimony meeting. She's been pretty sad about her mom passing away earlier this week, made worse by her not feeling safe to travel to the viewing. She wanted to record our testimony meeting since she wishes she had a recording of her mom's testimony.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
    - Goatnapper'96

  12. #102
    Senior Member myboynoah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    I dressed up a bit more this week than last. I went with shorts and (channeling my inner pelagius) a black shirt. After the sacrament, my wife insisted on a family testimony meeting. She's been pretty sad about her mom passing away earlier this week, made worse by her not feeling safe to travel to the viewing. She wanted to record our testimony meeting since she wishes she had a recording of her mom's testimony.
    Oh wow, Pelado. That's so sad that she is not able to travel. My condolences to your wife.
    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

    For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

    Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

  13. #103
    Corporate lackey for Jesus Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    I dressed up a bit more this week than last. I went with shorts and (channeling my inner pelagius) a black shirt. After the sacrament, my wife insisted on a family testimony meeting. She's been pretty sad about her mom passing away earlier this week, made worse by her not feeling safe to travel to the viewing. She wanted to record our testimony meeting since she wishes she had a recording of her mom's testimony.
    Oh man, I am so sorry.
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  14. #104
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by myboynoah View Post
    Oh wow, Pelado. That's so sad that she is not able to travel. My condolences to your wife.
    She actually is going to travel to the graveside service today, she just didn't feel safe traveling to the viewing in Utah (since she is immuno-suppressed). It was morstly about overnight accommodations. She doesn't feel safe in any hotels and her sister in Springville (with whom we typically stay) has another sister staying with her who just arrived from New York.

    Today will just be a day trip to and from Idaho Falls so we don't have to worry about an overnight stay anywhere.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
    - Goatnapper'96

  15. #105

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    Tough times, Pelado. God bless.

  16. #106
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    I dressed up a bit more this week than last. I went with shorts and (channeling my inner pelagius) a black shirt. After the sacrament, my wife insisted on a family testimony meeting. She's been pretty sad about her mom passing away earlier this week, made worse by her not feeling safe to travel to the viewing. She wanted to record our testimony meeting since she wishes she had a recording of her mom's testimony.
    Gut punch.
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  17. #107

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    She actually is going to travel to the graveside service today, she just didn't feel safe traveling to the viewing in Utah (since she is immuno-suppressed). It was morstly about overnight accommodations. She doesn't feel safe in any hotels and her sister in Springville (with whom we typically stay) has another sister staying with her who just arrived from New York.

    Today will just be a day trip to and from Idaho Falls so we don't have to worry about an overnight stay anywhere.
    My condolences Pelado.

    I'm sure you know this and I don't have to say this, but make sure your wife stays safe at the service.

  18. #108

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    She actually is going to travel to the graveside service today, she just didn't feel safe traveling to the viewing in Utah (since she is immuno-suppressed). It was morstly about overnight accommodations. She doesn't feel safe in any hotels and her sister in Springville (with whom we typically stay) has another sister staying with her who just arrived from New York.

    Today will just be a day trip to and from Idaho Falls so we don't have to worry about an overnight stay anywhere.
    That has to be a relief that she will be there for the service. My condolences and safe travels.

  19. #109

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    Anybody else making "In Our Lovely Deseret" the mandatory home church opening hymn?

  20. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    Anybody else making "In Our Lovely Deseret" the mandatory home church opening hymn?
    No, we sing TRUOS... in Mandarin.
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  21. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by LVAllen View Post
    If your mission also had unsanctioned P-day eve events, please signify with the uplefted hand.
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  22. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    Anybody else making "In Our Lovely Deseret" the mandatory home church opening hymn?
    76390113-F948-443D-BD7F-0F42F38BBDA3.jpg
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    I dressed up a bit more this week than last. I went with shorts and (channeling my inner pelagius) a black shirt. After the sacrament, my wife insisted on a family testimony meeting. She's been pretty sad about her mom passing away earlier this week, made worse by her not feeling safe to travel to the viewing. She wanted to record our testimony meeting since she wishes she had a recording of her mom's testimony.
    I suggested a family open-mic-Sunday. Hawk immediately suggested we invite the crazy lady from our ward who takes 10+ minutes every month as soon as the bishopric member sits down over. His reasoning was that wouldn’t leave time for anyone else.
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  24. #114
    Senior Member Clark Addison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walter Sobchak View Post
    No, we sing TRUOS... in Mandarin.
    Do they sing that POS hymn as much in Taiwan as they do in Hong Kong? I swear there was not a single month in my mission where we didn't sing that at least once.

  25. #115
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    I suggested a family open-mic-Sunday. Hawk immediately suggested we invite the crazy lady from our ward who takes 10+ minutes every month as soon as the bishopric member sits down over. His reasoning was that wouldn’t leave time for anyone else.
    Strange. Our son claimed there was no time left after the crazy lady in our house took 10+ minutes...
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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  26. #116
    Senior Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    Strange. Our son claimed there was no time left after the crazy lady in our house took 10+ minutes...
    After we did the sacrament, I elbowed my wife and said "Well, that was quick. Want to bear your testimony or something now?"

    She just gave a little snort/chortle as she stood up and walked out of the room - followed closely behind by a giggling 17 yr old daughter.

    So - we do dress up for the sacrament portion of our day (I mean, my wife wore a skirt with her t-shirt and my daughter was wearing a dress); but testimonies or any kind of actual meeting/service to go along with the sacrament is still a hard pass.

    We did talk about the Come Unto Me lesson for a little bit though, which was nice.

  27. #117
    it's all a blur mtnbiker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    We did talk about the Come Unto Me lesson for a little bit though, which was nice.
    Do you have a different manual from what I have? Mine's called Come, Follow Me.

    My wife and I dress up for the Sacrament, then discuss the lesson of the week.

  28. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnbiker View Post
    Do you have a different manual from what I have? Mine's called Come, Follow Me.

    My wife and I dress up for the Sacrament, then discuss the lesson of the week.
    I put on a white shirt and tie, plus sweat pants. My 20 yo daughter made fun of me. Next week no pants?

  29. #119
    Senior Member originalsocal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOhio View Post
    Anybody else making "In Our Lovely Deseret" the mandatory home church opening hymn?
    Only if the words are, "In our lovely Deseret, we dress just like Boba Fett."

  30. #120
    Strikes and Gutters chrisrenrut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    After we did the sacrament, I elbowed my wife and said "Well, that was quick. Want to bear your testimony or something now?"

    She just gave a little snort/chortle as she stood up and walked out of the room - followed closely behind by a giggling 17 yr old daughter.

    So - we do dress up for the sacrament portion of our day (I mean, my wife wore a skirt with her t-shirt and my daughter was wearing a dress); but testimonies or any kind of actual meeting/service to go along with the sacrament is still a hard pass.

    We did talk about the Come Unto Me lesson for a little bit though, which was nice.
    We watch Music and the Spoken Word, then a conference talk. Then do the sacrament and call it good. I do dress up, our Bishop specifically requested dressing in Sunday best in his instructions, so we are supporting him. It’s a small sacrifice.

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