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Thread: Thanks, Provo!

  1. #151
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaka View Post
    My solution money be damned:

    Divert the Provo River for a season and drain the lake. We can call it Operation Carp Be Gone.

    No need to dredge just bulldoze the crap out of the bottom of the lake. Use some of the dirt to build the island community.

    Demolish Eagle Mountain City Center. Dump rest of dirt on demolished remains and allow nature to take over. Do not allow Eagle Mountain to rebuild City Center and relocate their city offices close to The Ranches. Better yet let Saratoga Springs annex The Ranches and surrounding communities and un-incoprporate Eagle Mountain City. We can call this: Operation Relocate Goatnapper's Vacation Home to a Better City.

    Divert Provo River back into Utah Lake and restock with awesome fish with names ending in trout.

    Build Shaka's new home complete with a killer boathouse on the best plot in the new island community.

    Provide JL with a powerful telescope so he can jealously watch Shaka and his harem wakesurf.
    Any ideas on a diversion path?

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  2. #152
    𐐐𐐄𐐢𐐆𐐤𐐝 𐐓𐐅 𐐜 𐐢𐐃𐐡𐐔 Uncle Ted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    Any ideas on a diversion path?
    I wouldn't care as long as it runs through the NSA data center.
    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
    "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
    "I never preached in Texas, but I have preached in places as wicked..." -Brigham Young.
    "If we do nothing we'll be substantially behind (other Power leagues) a decade from now." -Bob Bowlsby on Big 12 expansion.
    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  3. #153

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    That's funny. Divert the provo river, hobble creek, SF river, etc. and while we are at it, use whatever magic voodoo we are using to "divert" those rivers and divert all the groundwater that goes into the lake through the bottom and springs and seeps on the edges.

    Reminds me of when we have an inversion and someone asks "Why don't they just build a big fan to blow out all the bad air?".

    Easily done in my world where money isn't an object.

    The rivers could be diverted through the current lake bed by building temporary dykes that effectively function as riverbanks. We can just put a cork in the natural springs.

    Ted and my dream is still alive!

  4. #154

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelado View Post
    Any ideas on a diversion path?

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    We could loop it through the tree streets and back through the river bottoms. JL wants riverfront property.

  5. #155
    Chronic Poseur USUC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    June sucker = utah's version of the delta smelt.

    I am sympathetic and supportive of the endangered species act but we have to figure out a way to get some balance. Put a bunch of suckers in a tank, use rotenone to kill all the carp and reintroduce the june sucker. Might not save the sucker, but it seems like a much better long term solution. I would think killing off the carp would have lots of positive environmental impacts. But maybe the late is too big for treatment.
    I wonder if it is even truly possible to get rid of the carp completely without some sort of genetic manipulation introduced (maybe a virus). The Jordan River is full of Carp. I know the Jordan flows from the Utah lake, not into it, but I think there will always be a way for them to find their way back.

    There is a man made pond in Draper that one of our alfalfa fields used to border. The tributary that flowed into the pond was on our property. Is was a swamp about the size of a soccer field. In the Spring the carp would spawn in this swamp area. MY brother, myself, and any number of our friends would wade through the swamp with baseball bats and smack anything that moved. Then we would collect the floating carcasses and use them on the neighborhood vegetable gardens. Good times.

  6. #156
    Local Character clackamascoug's Avatar
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    I could lower Utah Lake by 15 feet for around a billion dollars.

    I would build big rubber dams/bladders filled with water and cordon off the lake into 1/10th sections.
    I would pump the water out of the 1/10th into the 9/10's.
    Each section would be pumped and excavated to the proper depth. The deeper the better... it's only removing 20 of overburden.
    I would put the dirt south and west of the airport - expanding the airport into a much larger and more major airport than it is....
    I would put some dirt in the middle and make an island community much like Jumeriah. High end homes with boat docks.
    I would call the island community Utetopia in honor of the original tribal members.
    I would put an Indian Casino at the heart of the Utetopia producing jobs for the local Native Americans, and as a way to pay for the dredging and construction.
    A section of of Utetopia would be reserved for BYU to build a modern football stadium.

    I could lower the lake for 1 billion, and I could build the community for 2.5 billion. 3.5 billion would be a deal for such overall positive results.
    Last edited by clackamascoug; 01-11-2018 at 03:19 PM.

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  7. #157
    𐐐𐐄𐐢𐐆𐐤𐐝 𐐓𐐅 𐐜 𐐢𐐃𐐡𐐔 Uncle Ted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by USUC View Post
    There is a man made pond in Draper that one of our alfalfa fields used to border. The tributary that flowed into the pond was on our property. Is was a swamp about the size of a soccer field. In the Spring the carp would spawn in this swamp area. MY brother, myself, and any number of our friends would wade through the swamp with baseball bats and smack anything that moved. Then we would collect the floating carcasses and use them on the neighborhood vegetable gardens. Good times.
    This is essentially what they are doing in Utah Lake now... but on a larger scale:




    Just back your truck up and grab a pitch fork!
    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
    "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
    "I never preached in Texas, but I have preached in places as wicked..." -Brigham Young.
    "If we do nothing we'll be substantially behind (other Power leagues) a decade from now." -Bob Bowlsby on Big 12 expansion.
    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  8. #158
    Known Heterosexual RC Vikings's Avatar
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    This makes more sense than that giant ski resort that was going to be based right out of Provo but it has about the same chance of ever getting done.

  9. #159
    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaka View Post
    Provide JL with a powerful telescope so he can jealously watch Shaka and his harem wakesurf.
    Shaka, why do you lob softballs like this at me? Do you have any idea how much willpower it takes not to respond?
    "Socialism is not bad IMHO" - byu71
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  10. #160

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Shaka, why do you lob softballs like this at me? Do you have any idea how much willpower it takes not to respond?
    I’m hoping it dawned on you that I may not be serious. Besides, I can’t have you looking in on my boating activities. From a religious perspective you are, “The Man”. You might feel obligated to pass word of my deeds along to my, “The Man”.


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  11. #161

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    idk a cab driver can still probably get a temple recommend even if some dude engages in self gratification in the back seat
    Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est.

  12. #162
    Explosivo Commando's Avatar
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    "I'm anti, can't no government handle a commando / Your man don't want it, Trump's a bitch! I'll make his whole brand go under,"

  13. #163

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    If only we had a professional fisheries biologist on the board who could weigh in here...
    Typical Ute. Where is he when we need him?

  14. #164
    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaka View Post
    I’m hoping it dawned on you that I may not be serious. Besides, I can’t have you looking in on my boating activities. From a religious perspective you are, “The Man”. You might feel obligated to pass word of my deeds along to my, “The Man”.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Another softball. Stop!
    "Socialism is not bad IMHO" - byu71
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.

  15. #165

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Another softball. Stop!
    No


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  16. #166

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    Quote Originally Posted by cougjunkie View Post
    Lehis new Mayor Mark Johnson, pointed this out and contacted the author of the article.
    What a maroon. The article clearly states this is about the Provo metro area, of which Lehi is a part.

  17. #167
    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LiveCoug View Post
    What a maroon. The article clearly states this is about the Provo metro area, of which Lehi is a part.
    Not to mention the fact that Lehi would be nowhere without the business leaders and tech folks that BYU keeps cranking out. What a knucklehead.
    "Socialism is not bad IMHO" - byu71
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.

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