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Thread: Bill Walton Quotes

  1. #1
    Grooveshark dick tease MarkGrace's Avatar
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    Dec 2008

    Default Bill Walton Quotes

    Someone posted this on CB. Funny stuff.

    "You know this might be a situation where you might want to lose."

    "I don't know how those contacts keep falling out. Sure there are your eye gouges and sometimes you get hit pretty hard, so I can see how those contacts can fall out."

    "Karl Malone with the dunk! But wait! They gave the points to the Spurs! Oh, correcting myself it was Tim Duncan scoring for the Jazz not the other way around."

    "The Pacers would be winning if the Bulls didn't have more points than them in the last three quarters."

    "There's something so ugly about his game. He's like the pretty boy of the NBA."

    "Come on, play defence enough with this flopping, play the game the way its supposed to be played, you are only hurting the credibility of the game, shame on you Vlade, you know better."

    "Scott Pollard doesn't even want in the game, look at him he's trying to foul out on purpose, move your feet big fella stop reaching, your a proffesional in an elite fraternity....completely unacceptable at this level."

    "The brilliance of executing under pressure. That's what stars are made up. Look at his exuberance, his complete and utter dominance in the low post."

    "With the hookshot! Swing it big Todd! KAREEM!!!"

    "That was a Foul." -Bill
    "Against who?" -Other guy
    "Against the game of basketball." -Bill

    "The Nets have the worst 3 point shooting ever."

    "Corey Maggette is the best player in the NBA."

    "What a move by Kobe Bryant! At 18-12 the route is on!"

    "I never thought I'd say this, but as of today, Michael Olowokandi has become a basketball player."

    "The variety, the versatility, the completeness of his game. The mental aspect and approach to his game. How it's not self-centered, it's not about the numbers, it's about the thought process. It's about the likeability, the friendliness, the joy with which he plays."

    "Never forget that sacred cows make the best hamburger."

    "The crucial game five brings to mind two great movies. The first is Gladiator, in which Maximus attempts to rally his troops to come together. They learn that the only way to win is to fight as one. The other is Traffic, in which we learn that the greatest battle of all is that which is fought within one's own mind!"

    "Somebody needs to conduct a study on the frequency of Steve Nash licking his fingers, depending on the tempature of the arena."

    "[Shawn Bradley] is such a dominant presence. You can only hope to contain him."

    "Spending the morning with Jerry Sloan is like spending time with Aristotle. He will teach you the lessons of life."

    Walton on Diaw: "...the vision to somehow acquire Boris Diaw. And when you look at Boris Diaw and what he has done to this franchise..he's changed everything. As we celebrate his brilliance, and when you talk to Boris Diaw..what a classical human being he is. It was 201 years ago today, that Beethoven's Symphony #3 in E Flat which [escorted] in the Age of Romanticism in music. And when I look at Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven and the Age of the Romantics. This guy, has got it all."

    ‎"Michael Olowokandi, quite possibly the greatest center to ever play the game."

    "There's no denying that Jerry Sloan has the greatest tractor collection of all time."

    "Dwayne Wade's body, it's like it was sculpted out of a dream of Michaelangelo."

    "You know what the refs used to tell me when I was playing and started to complain? 'Just shut up and play ball you big baby.'"

    "I don't know what infraction is being called here... other than being too spectacular!"

    "First time I saw Sabonis he was very slim. A 7'3 version of Larry Bird. At halftime he had 30 points, 20 rebounds, 10 blocked shots, 6-7 assists, and I said we should have to rewrite the rules."

    "The most important factor in basketball? Mental and emotional."

    "Yao Ming's legs look as if they were sculpted by... Microsoft!"

    "Is there a better Inbounds passer in the history of the NBA than Robert Horry?"

    "Steve Nash is the most unathletic player in the league."

    "He's like a four-armed Dikembe Mutombo around the basket!"

    "Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards."

    "Tony Parker just made the worst pass... in the history of Western Civilization!"

    "Thank you for visiting McDonald's and please drive safely ... Sir, don't forget your napkins!"

    "That was the worst execution of the fast break in the history of the Trail Blazer franchise."

    "Flip Saunders throws up his hands in exasperated dismay!"

    "How long do these hockey games last?"

    "Show some respect to this living legend, this hall of famer...Arvydas Sabonis."

    "He even flew in his hairdresser, Celeste, so not only does Jermaine ONeal look pretty, hes looking to play pretty tonight."

    "Shaq with the monster throwdown, the basket just reverberating."

    "You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. As if Michelangelo was reading and a lightening bolt flashed before him."

    "You talk about Shaq as a ballerina, what a pirouette from Yao!"

    "Greg Ostertag is unstoppable in the post."

    "Look at that precision. Look at that timing. You can't do it better than that." -Bill " was goaltending. The timing could have been a bit better." -other guy



    After Shaq had missed his 10th free throw in a row... "Shaquille O'Neil. CONCENTRATE."

    "I know we're celebrating Einstein's 100th year of the theory of relativity, but PLEASE!"

    "A quadruple clutch!"

    Mike Green, "They sure play a lot of music in this arena (Quicken Loans in Cleveland).
    Bill Walton: "Why not? This is the home of the Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame! U2 will be here tomorrow night!"
    Mike Green: "I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

    "He's one of the best finishers without the ball in this league."

    "That has to be the quickest substitution in the history of the NBA."

    "Chris Childs let the opportunity of having the best job in the world being Jason Kidd backup go away because he couldnt get himself away from the buffet table."

    "He's everywhere! Rebounds, Assists... Shawn Bradley is looking like Hakeem Olajuwan!"

    "Tim Duncan is looking at the referee saying....'What is a foul!?!?!?!'"

    "Where would the LA Clippers franchise be without Sean Rooks?"

    "The art of tossing up the jump ball has really declined. These officials need to spend more time practicing in off-season."

    "Mike Bibby looks sooo good physically"

    "Rudy T. is not in the NBA Hall of Fame, but he is in the Hall of Fame of Life."

    Bill (following a tough driving basket by John Stockton): John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!
    Tom: Wow, thats a pretty strong statement. I guess I dont have a good handle on world history.
    Bill (chuckling): Well Tom, thats because you didnt go to UCLA.

    "Thats a pathetic play, whats a great defender like Scottie doing taking a charge?"

    "Yao has a chance to alter the way the game of basketball is played."

    "Basketball games are won in the second half."

    "Shaq has no outside game."

    "The separation of Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal is one of the all-time great failures of the human spirit."

    "Earl Boykins setting him up... he's playing like Steve Nash!"

    "Jeff Foster is the cooler talk player of this universe."

    "There just has been nothing accomplished by this World Champion squad!"

    "San Antonio, sadly, has no one out there to restore order to the universe."

    "Manu Ginobli - making plays no one in the world has ever seen before!"
    So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

  2. #2


    I miss Bill doing games. He is the yogi berra of basketball.
    Dyslexics are teople poo...

  3. #3


  4. #4


    Bill Walton is so awesome

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    Dyslexics are teople poo...

  5. #5
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Sep 2010
    The 208


    Quote Originally Posted by Flystripper View Post
    Bill Walton is so awesome

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    Love his little jabs at Roxy:

    Bill: Have you ever been on a team, Roxy?

    Roxy: I have before but don't feel like I am tonight.

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    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Apr 2009
    Davis County


    Bill: "This is the best I've ever seen McKay Cannon play!"

    Roxy: "Have you ever seen McKay Cannon play before?"

    Bill: "No."

    Wash, rinse, and repeat with 4-5 other BYU players. Hilarious.

  7. #7


    I still have a smile on my face for both the win and for Bill Walton. We need more Bill Waltons in the world.

  8. #8
    One pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    The Republic of Tejas


    Quote Originally Posted by jay santos View Post
    I still have a smile on my face for both the win and for Bill Walton. We need more Bill Waltons in the world.
    He was great. He must realize that color commentators are useless to begin with so why not just make it more about fun. I also like how he really seemed to be indifferent about anything and anyone on the Utes.

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    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  9. #9
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    The heart of the UC


    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie View Post
    Bill: "This is the best I've ever seen McKay Cannon play!"

    Roxy: "Have you ever seen McKay Cannon play before?"

    Bill: "No."

    Wash, rinse, and repeat with 4-5 other BYU players. Hilarious.
    Great quote but you botched it a little. His answer was something like “yes, in the first half.”
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
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