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Thread: The CUF Valentines Day Thread

  1. #31

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    Quote Originally Posted by nikuman View Post
    Those are the shoes. I run in them and work out in them and generally wear them around town (including at Disney World). They are awesome - most comfortable shoes I own.
    Rob Lowe loves those shoes.

  2. #32
    Senior Member byu71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LiveCoug View Post
    He stole it from Cougarboard and is trying to pawn it off as his own. He just wants to be cool!


    Sorry for busting you 71.
    Damn you, no gosh damn you.

  3. #33
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by byu71 View Post
    Women will never be happy on Valentines day, because no man has a chocolate wacker that spews money.
    The historicity is excellent. We have a women vs. man set up that implies that happiness centers not on a relationship, but on material and sensorial pleasures.

    Spoiler for A brief analysis (not for prudes):
    The lack of a chocolate wacker allows for the possibility that 'chocolate' can be made from actual chocolate (which would be brittle if subjected to sufficient force/friction, and that it could indeed melt, as chocolate does, when placed in relative proximity to a source of body heat). What's more, chocolate is a food source, primarily (a secondary use is to make Aaron Neville's arms glisten), and food is generally consumed in/by the mouth. Thus, the placement of a chocolate "wacker" in the mouth could be construed as insinuating that women would only enjoy doing so if the flavors were less smegmish, and more chocolaty.

    The choice of wacker betrays a certain intention to be both proper and subversive. A euphemism for penis indicates a desire to not be explicit, but the use of 'wacker' implies that a penis is primarily for whacking, both to it, and with it, thereby implanting an image into the reader's mind of masturbation (perhaps mutual) that conuteracts the attempt at decorum by using a euphemism in the first place.

    The verb 'spew' also evokes an image of uncontrolled issuing, perhaps the quintessential image of the male orgasm. Does the passage imply that women want uncontrolled amounts of money? An endless stream, as it were? Do we need to consider that the loss of control due to sex is how a woman gains a man's heart? What other flavors might entice women to enjoy Valentines Day more if the wacker still spewed money? Spew is also slang for 'vomit.'

    Do we believe then that the heterosexual sexual relationship is all about money? How might lesbians react to the maxim? Is the paradigm only valid on Valentines Day?

    Further research is warranted.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  4. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    The historicity is excellent. We have a women vs. man set up that implies that happiness centers not on a relationship, but on material and sensorial pleasures.

    Spoiler for A brief analysis (not for prudes):
    The lack of a chocolate wacker allows for the possibility that 'chocolate' can be made from actual chocolate (which would be brittle if subjected to sufficient force/friction, and that it could indeed melt, as chocolate does, when placed in relative proximity to a source of body heat). What's more, chocolate is a food source, primarily (a secondary use is to make Aaron Neville's arms glisten), and food is generally consumed in/by the mouth. Thus, the placement of a chocolate "wacker" in the mouth could be construed as insinuating that women would only enjoy doing so if the flavors were less smegmish, and more chocolaty.

    The choice of wacker betrays a certain intention to be both proper and subversive. A euphemism for penis indicates a desire to not be explicit, but the use of 'wacker' implies that a penis is primarily for whacking, both to it, and with it, thereby implanting an image into the reader's mind of masturbation (perhaps mutual) that conuteracts the attempt at decorum by using a euphemism in the first place.

    The verb 'spew' also evokes an image of uncontrolled issuing, perhaps the quintessential image of the male orgasm. Does the passage imply that women want uncontrolled amounts of money? An endless stream, as it were? Do we need to consider that the loss of control due to sex is how a woman gains a man's heart? What other flavors might entice women to enjoy Valentines Day more if the wacker still spewed money? Spew is also slang for 'vomit.'

    Do we believe then that the heterosexual sexual relationship is all about money? How might lesbians react to the maxim? Is the paradigm only valid on Valentines Day?

    Further research is warranted.
    This was really not necessary and it has nothing to do with being a prude. We got his joke no reason to expound.
    *Banned*

  5. #35
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cougjunkie View Post
    This was really not necessary and it has nothing to do with being a prude. We got his joke no reason to expound.
    While I'm sure there are inside jokes in your field, this is one from mine. Comprende?
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  6. #36

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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    Btw, my wife posted the last paragraph of this on my facebook page this morning. I posted the "I swear by all flowers" part. This is one of the best love poems around.
    Agreed. And even for avant-garde poetry, it's pretty accessible.
    "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

  7. #37
    Senior Member Katy Lied's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikuman View Post
    You have very little idea of how iconoclastic I really am.
    So your wife has a plain copper or silver band for her wedding ring? No stones on her engagement ring?

  8. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by CJF View Post
    Good for her. She never has to worry about her birthday menu.

  9. #39
    CS Institutional Memory Jarid in Cedar's Avatar
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    I sent some roses to Mrs. JIC today. It sucks being away from home on Valentine's day.
    "The first thing I learned upon becoming a head coach after fifteen years as an assistant was the enormous difference between making a suggestion and making a decision."

    "They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression."

    "I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me."

    -Rick Majerus

  10. #40
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    So your wife has a plain copper or silver band for her wedding ring? No stones on her engagement ring?
    Think even more iconoclastic. No ring at all!

    Sent from my Sprint EVO 4G
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  11. #41
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    Valentines day was all right, I guess.
    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

  12. #42
    Liberal Feminazi Pheidippides's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    So your wife has a plain copper or silver band for her wedding ring? No stones on her engagement ring?
    We became more iconoclastic after marriage. If we were to do it over again, the answer would be yes. Probably tungsten though.
    Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

  13. #43
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikuman View Post
    We became more iconoclastic after marriage. If we were to do it over again, the answer would be yes. Probably tungsten though.
    Tungsten. So trendy.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  14. #44
    Liberal Feminazi Pheidippides's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Tungsten. So trendy.
    Screw trendy. Cheap, nearly indestructible, and available at walmart. That is where my current wedding band came from.
    Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

  15. #45
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikuman View Post
    Screw trendy. Cheap, nearly indestructible, and available at walmart. That is where my current wedding band came from.
    Why not just get a ring tattooed on? Cheap, as (in)destructible as your finger, and you'll never lose it.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  16. #46
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikuman View Post
    We became more iconoclastic after marriage. If we were to do it over again, the answer would be yes. Probably tungsten though.
    My wife's original wedding band is a simple gold band. No stones.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  17. #47
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creekster View Post
    My wife's original wedding band is a simple gold band. No stones.
    What does she have now?
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  18. #48
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    What does she have now?
    Same one. ALthough I added an anniversary band for our 25th that has some stones on it.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  19. #49
    I ♥ gateway sex FN Phat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Why not just get a ring tattooed on? Cheap, as (in)destructible as your finger, and you'll never lose it.
    I work with a man that has the wedding band tattoo...from his first wife that he has been divorced from for the last 6 years. He just filled in the area that had her name so now it is just a solid band and then he added an additional line on the outside "for depth".
    I'm your huckleberry.


    "I love pulling the bone. Really though, what guy doesn't?" - CJF

  20. #50
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    MJ just called to thank me for her V-day present. I ordered her a coffee table book that has all the pictures from our trip to New York with some funny commentary. I put it together using iPhoto. She really liked the book and was happy to have it.

    The funny part of the story is, and I'll have to confirm when I get home, that I think she thought it was an iPad when it arrived. At least her discussion with me led me to believe she thought it was an iPad at first only to find out it was a simple coffee table scrapbook. I imagine the book was shaped like an iPad and probably packaged in Apple wrappings. We've kicked around the idea of getting an iPad but have decided to wait until v2 comes out. Anyway, at least the book was good enough to overcome the disappointment in not having another cool toy.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  21. #51
    Major disappointment The_Tick's Avatar
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    Hey 3D...you would be so proud.

    TK1's boyfriend took her out to dinner last night for Valentine's.

    Olive Garden.

    I chuckled when she told me. Said chuckling got me in trouble.

    Thanks pal!

  22. #52

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Tick View Post
    Hey 3D...you would be so proud.

    TK1's boyfriend took her out to dinner last night for Valentine's.

    Olive Garden.

    I chuckled when she told me. Said chuckling got me in trouble.

    Thanks pal!
    Yeeeeergh! Even Provo has way better options, for comparable cost, than Olive Garden.
    "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

  23. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Funk View Post
    Yeeeeergh! Even Provo has way better options, for comparable cost, than Olive Garden.
    But it's all you can eat bread sticks!

  24. #54

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGabers View Post
    But it's all you can eat bread sticks!
    I would categorize Olive Garden in the "it's fine if nothing else sounds good and nothing else is open," not in the special Valentine's Day dinner category. I like the breadsticks (though they seemed much less hot and much less plentiful than I remembered that last time I was at Olive Garden).

    I knew a couple who referred to Olive Garden as "their restaurant." Gag.
    "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

  25. #55

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Funk View Post
    I would categorize Olive Garden in the "it's fine if nothing else sounds good and nothing else is open," not in the special Valentine's Day dinner category. I like the breadsticks (though they seemed much less hot and much less plentiful than I remembered that last time I was at Olive Garden).

    I knew a couple who referred to Olive Garden as "their restaurant." Gag.
    I'll eat almost anywhere if someone else is buying. But if I am paying, it is most definitely not Olive Garden or its counterparts, breadsticks or not.
    What's to explain? It's a bunch of people, most of whom you've never met, who are just as likely to be homicidal maniacs as they are to be normal everyday people, with whom you share the minutiae of your everyday life. It's totally normal, and everyone would understand.

    -Teenage Dirtbag

  26. #56

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Funk View Post
    I would categorize Olive Garden in the "it's fine if nothing else sounds good and nothing else is open," not in the special Valentine's Day dinner category. I like the breadsticks (though they seemed much less hot and much less plentiful than I remembered that last time I was at Olive Garden).

    I knew a couple who referred to Olive Garden as "their restaurant." Gag.
    Damn, now I have to figure out a new restaurant for our after the bar Valentine's Day dinner.
    The crux of what has traumatized us about CUF/CG is that we thought they were our friends. And their identity as BYU fans turned out to be the most important thing to them. What empty lives! What a damning indictment of the LDS Church!
    --SeattleUte

    He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. The logic is impeccable.
    --Charles W. Bamforth, Ph.D.

  27. #57

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    Quote Originally Posted by marsupial View Post
    I'll eat almost anywhere if someone else is buying. But if I am paying, it is most definitely not Olive Garden or its counterparts, breadsticks or not.
    Fair point. Not that the Funkster would have tried to take me to Olive Garden for a special occasion, but there's much to be said for courtesy and gratitude in any circumstance someone else pays—Olive Garden or no.

    That said, I can think of at least two comparably-priced Italian restaurants in Provo alone, though, that I consider far superior to Olive Garden.
    "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

  28. #58
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Tick View Post
    Hey 3D...you would be so proud.

    TK1's boyfriend took her out to dinner last night for Valentine's.

    Olive Garden.

    I chuckled when she told me. Said chuckling got me in trouble.

    Thanks pal!
    Ah, the folly of youth. When I was in college, I loved any food...Olive garden, chilis, sconecutter, Friar Tucks, I even was known to dine on Sounds Easy Pizza I would even go to those on campus meetings or wedding receptions for the refreshments.

    At least the boyfriend has a good heart, which is the main thing right now. Hopefully, the spirit of Hospitaliano did not extent beyond the meal.
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  29. #59
    I ♥ gateway sex FN Phat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Funk View Post
    Fair point. Not that the Funkster would have tried to take me to Olive Garden for a special occasion, but there's much to be said for courtesy and gratitude in any circumstance someone else pays—Olive Garden or no.

    That said, I can think of at least two comparably-priced Italian restaurants in Provo alone, though, that I consider far superior to Olive Garden.
    Olive Garden is about as good as it gets in my neck of the woods...unless you want to pay well north of $100 for two.
    I'm your huckleberry.


    "I love pulling the bone. Really though, what guy doesn't?" - CJF

  30. #60
    Known Heterosexual RC Vikings's Avatar
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    I ordered a dozen roses for the wife from ProFlowers and they arrived frozen yesterday. The wife knows I care and I get my money back. It was a win win day.

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