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Thread: I had a colonoscopy today

  1. #31
    CS Institutional Memory Jarid in Cedar's Avatar
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    We have our patients prep with a bottle of miralax mixed in a quart of gatorade(no red colors though). Same effects without the gallon of salty hell. And to add to the chorus, colonscopy is the best cancer screen available. You can detect and remove precancer(the polyps) thus eliminating the risk of getting cancer in the first place. Most other screening tests rely on catching the cancer in early stages.
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  2. #32

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    I'm glad all of you geezers have healthy buttholes.

  3. #33
    It is NOT a monkey! creekster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wally View Post
    I'm glad all of you geezers have healthy buttholes.
    are, not have.
    PLesa excuse the tpyos.

  4. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    I had to drink three bottles of magnesium citrate drink. They were 10 ounces each and I did 1.5 bottles last night and 1.5 bottles this morning. I chilled them and they were carbonated with a sweet lemon flavor. Not bad at all. It was the resulting fiesta in my GI tract that was the problem.
    This is what I had a couple years ago too. It was a strong "lemony" flavor though...and the problem with that, is shortly before, I bought a rather expensive electrolyte powdered drink mix for my long bike rides.

    Stupid stuff they gave me for the colonoscopy tasted just like that electrolyte mix. Now...2 years later...I've got this full container of electrolyte mix that I have some rather interesting "memories" tied to that taste!

    When you drink that stuff, just think of Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber. Don't stray to far from the throne, because when it 'hits'....you gotta go! It just makes you laugh it is so....um..."thorough" in its affect.

    By the way "do it". My father had late stages of colon cancer, had to go through the whole chemo/radiation treatment and it was UGLY. Even though he survived, he said he would never do that again. Considering the alternative, that is quite the statement.

    So, I was 43 at the time I got mine, and they actually removed a polyp...weird, but glad I did it.
    "Newton's First Law of Motion: ...things at rest tend to stay at rest. Things in motion, tend to stay in motion...."

    Hmm... Good motivation for me to remain active I guess.

  5. #35
    Known Heterosexual RC Vikings's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borg View Post
    So...why does there need to be like the doctor performing the procedure, and then like three other nurses standing around. I was a little conscientious as I saw the whole med school it seemed starting to come around me.

    5....4....("what the ##$! are all these people doing here)....3....2....fade to black.....
    The nurse that helped my doctor couldn't have been older than twenty five and was extremely attractive. Just before I went under I thought to myself this was probably as close to a threesome with a hot chick as I would ever get.

  6. #36
    Golf & Cubs Disrespecter beelzebabette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Once every five years if you have a family history. Once every three if you have a family history and they find some problems on the first one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Surfah View Post
    Good to know. My mom has one annually I am pretty sure. But she has had polyps removed and some other related issues.
    I asked my doctor about this Friday, and he said one could go ten years between if the first one was squeaky clean and wait until 50 if the second one was as well.

    Not claiming that's right. Just what I was told.
    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    lol is there still not fluoridated water in Utah? I'm remembering what the Tribunes "Mike Waters" said about Mormons.
    IIRC, only Utah County.
    Quote Originally Posted by Borg View Post
    By the way "do it".
    Hearty amen.

  7. #37
    Senior Member byu71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    Did mine today. Everything was perfect so I don't need to do another for ten years. Phew. The procedure is cake but the prep is just brutal.
    When I had mine done a couple of years ago, I got a clean bill of health too. He even said there was no evidence of wind damage.

    However, I have to go back within 5 years. Is that because I am a lot older, or are my doctors more precautious.

  8. #38
    Rabblerouser statman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RC Vikings View Post
    The nurse that helped my doctor couldn't have been older than twenty five and was extremely attractive. Just before I went under I thought to myself this was probably as close to a threesome with a hot chick as I would ever get.
    Reminds me of physical therapy I had on my shoulder two years ago. My therapist had graduated from BYU's kinesiology/physical therapy program earlier that year.

    I had done all the required exercises and was about to ice-down my shoulder and she rushed in to massage my shoulder before I put on the ice.

    After about 30 seconds, she said "You're very tense. You need to relax." I replied with something along the lines of "How old are you? 23?" "22." "Okay, a pretty, single (no ring), blonde girl who was born a year after I got married is rubbing my shoulders. It's been about 25 years since a woman other than my wife as laid a hand on me. Relax? Not gonna happen..."

    She just laughed and strapped the ice bag to my shoulder...

  9. #39
    Receiver of Memory LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    I had to drink three bottles of magnesium citrate drink. They were 10 ounces each and I did 1.5 bottles last night and 1.5 bottles this morning. I chilled them and they were carbonated with a sweet lemon flavor. Not bad at all. It was the resulting fiesta in my GI tract that was the problem.
    LOL. Only those who have been there truly understand.
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  10. #40

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    I had to drink three bottles of magnesium citrate drink. They were 10 ounces each and I did 1.5 bottles last night and 1.5 bottles this morning. I chilled them and they were carbonated with a sweet lemon flavor. Not bad at all. It was the resulting fiesta in my GI tract that was the problem.
    Once, while traveling and having all sorts of fiber-lacking foods, I turned to an ex-lax to brick of chocolate to help me out. the problem was that the chocolate had somewhat melted, and the directions read: "take 2 squares." So I took what appeared to me to be 2 squares. upon further reading I discovered that there were 8 doses in the package, and that I had quadrupled the dosage.

    I had an interesting time that night.

  11. #41
    it's all a blur mtnbiker's Avatar
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    Well, I joined the club today. Whenever I'd give blood the last couple of years, they'd tell me I was borderline anemic, so, along with a blood test, my doctor thought I ought to get the colon checked, too. Instead of going with the liquid diet only on the last day, I started three days early, hoping to clean things out before the magnesium citrate did. It probably helped - I thought I was pretty clean when starting the process - but I never realized how full of crap I was. Fun, fun.

    The doc said I was clean as a whistle, come back in 10 years. The blood test said my thyroid was the problem.

  12. #42
    Senior Member myboynoah's Avatar
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    What I don't get is why they didn't offer me a copy of the tape when it was done. That would have been totally awesome. But no, nothing.
    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

    For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

    Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

  13. #43
    it's all a blur mtnbiker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by myboynoah View Post
    What I don't get is why they didn't offer me a copy of the tape when it was done. That would have been totally awesome. But no, nothing.
    They did a video of yours? They didn't say anything about one to me, but it must have just taken a couple of minutes. It was only about 15-20 minutes between the time I looked at the clock as the anesthesia kicked in until I was in recovery seeing my wife walk in. I did get a single picture of my esophagus, since they checked down that way, too.

  14. #44
    Senior Member myboynoah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnbiker View Post
    They did a video of yours? They didn't say anything about one to me, but it must have just taken a couple of minutes. It was only about 15-20 minutes between the time I looked at the clock as the anesthesia kicked in until I was in recovery seeing my wife walk in. I did get a single picture of my esophagus, since they checked down that way, too.


    15-20 minutes for both your esophagus and colon? I hope you say two different kinds of probes on the counter before they started the drip-drip of that milky white stuff.
    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

    For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

    Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

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    Your discomfort helps put my kids through college. Keep those polyps coming!

  16. #46
    it's all a blur mtnbiker's Avatar
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    I forgot to mention that, based on a couple of conversations I overheard, a couple of patients got bad news on their colonoscopies yesterday. It sounded as if at least one discovered a fair amount of cancer, where none was previously known. Sad day for someone; better to get checked early than to get a diagnosis like that.

  17. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnbiker View Post
    Well, I joined the club today. Whenever I'd give blood the last couple of years, they'd tell me I was borderline anemic, so, along with a blood test, my doctor thought I ought to get the colon checked, too. Instead of going with the liquid diet only on the last day, I started three days early, hoping to clean things out before the magnesium citrate did. It probably helped - I thought I was pretty clean when starting the process - but I never realized how full of crap I was. Fun, fun.

    The doc said I was clean as a whistle, come back in 10 years. The blood test said my thyroid was the problem.

    Welcome to the club....and congrats on a clean bill of health!
    "Newton's First Law of Motion: ...things at rest tend to stay at rest. Things in motion, tend to stay in motion...."

    Hmm... Good motivation for me to remain active I guess.

  18. #48
    UofU/BYU mixed marriage Scott R Nelson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
    And that's why I continue to put it off. My doctor wants me to have one, but I don't really want to go through the preparation experience.
    I've managed to put this off for more than seven years, but tomorrow's the day. I get to keep drinking only clear liquids until 4:00 today, then the fun begins. The preparation starts three days in advance, cutting down on fiber and eating specific foods, then all clear liquids, then the stimulant laxative, then a gallon of that GaviLyte-G stuff.

    I'm guessing that I won't get a good night's sleep tonight.

  19. #49
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
    I've managed to put this off for more than seven years, but tomorrow's the day. I get to keep drinking only clear liquids until 4:00 today, then the fun begins. The preparation starts three days in advance, cutting down on fiber and eating specific foods, then all clear liquids, then the stimulant laxative, then a gallon of that GaviLyte-G stuff.

    I'm guessing that I won't get a good night's sleep tonight.
    Just sit down and enjoy the experience.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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  20. #50

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    Brings back memories of one of my favorite posts on Cougarboard.

    https://www.cougarboard.com/board/me...html?id=644727
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  21. #51
    Bald not naked Pelado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Copelius View Post
    Brings back memories of one of my favorite posts on Cougarboard.

    https://www.cougarboard.com/board/me...html?id=644727
    That is classic.
    "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
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  22. #52
    UofU/BYU mixed marriage Scott R Nelson's Avatar
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    I'm having a hard time getting down even the second 8 oz. glass of GaviLyte. How on earth am I going to get down six more of those this evening?

  23. #53

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
    I'm having a hard time getting down even the second 8 oz. glass of GaviLyte. How on earth am I going to get down six more of those this evening?
    enema
    Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est.

  24. #54
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
    I'm having a hard time getting down even the second 8 oz. glass of GaviLyte. How on earth am I going to get down six more of those this evening?
    Think of this young lady encouraging you.

    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  25. #55
    Kicked to the curb San Juan Sun's Avatar
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    I know a lot of you are getting older here. Trust me on this, when it’s time for your colonoscopy ask for Prepopik. It’s just tablets and water, works well, and is much easier to tolerate.
    "Sure, I fought. I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch."

    - Ty Cobb

  26. #56
    UofU/BYU mixed marriage Scott R Nelson's Avatar
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    Epilogue: I managed to drink all of that stuff as required, half a gallon the evening before, half a gallon that morning. The stuff took almost the full two hours to start to work. Drinking it was definitely worse than the effects it caused. After finishing off the full gallon, everything was coming out clear. I was amazed. That's one way to lose five pounds in two days. Checked my scale just to be sure.

    At the medical center it started off with removing all clothing and putting on one of those hospital gowns that leaves your backside exposed. They hooked up an IV, stuck one of those plastic oxygen thingies on my nose, told me they were going to start the drugs and the next thing I know I'm in recovery. Couldn't even feel where they had done the exploring when it was all over. I guess it all went great, but they didn't really tell me anything after. I'm supposed to get some sort of summary message at some point.

    I wanted to have a nice meal afterward, but had a light snack and fell asleep for at least four hours afterward. Ate a light meal after that and I think I'm all back to normal. They tell me I'm supposed to do this again in five years. We'll see about that.

  27. #57

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    Quote Originally Posted by San Juan Sun View Post
    I know a lot of you are getting older here. Trust me on this, when it’s time for your colonoscopy ask for Prepopik. It’s just tablets and water, works well, and is much easier to tolerate.
    i have a few more colonoscopies (had my first a few months ago) in my future due to family history - I will remember this.
    I'm like LeBron James.
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  28. #58
    Huge Member BigPiney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smokymountainrain View Post
    i have a few more colonoscopies (had my first a few months ago) in my future due to family history - I will remember this.
    I did not pass this info onto my wife (it costs money), but will keep it in mind for myself when the time comes.

  29. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
    Epilogue: I managed to drink all of that stuff as required, half a gallon the evening before, half a gallon that morning. The stuff took almost the full two hours to start to work. Drinking it was definitely worse than the effects it caused. After finishing off the full gallon, everything was coming out clear. I was amazed. That's one way to lose five pounds in two days. Checked my scale just to be sure.

    At the medical center it started off with removing all clothing and putting on one of those hospital gowns that leaves your backside exposed. They hooked up an IV, stuck one of those plastic oxygen thingies on my nose, told me they were going to start the drugs and the next thing I know I'm in recovery. Couldn't even feel where they had done the exploring when it was all over. I guess it all went great, but they didn't really tell me anything after. I'm supposed to get some sort of summary message at some point.

    I wanted to have a nice meal afterward, but had a light snack and fell asleep for at least four hours afterward. Ate a light meal after that and I think I'm all back to normal. They tell me I'm supposed to do this again in five years. We'll see about that.
    Five years? Do you have a family history or did they find some benign polyps? Fortunately for me, I got the ten year pass.
    "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

    Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

  30. #60
    UofU/BYU mixed marriage Scott R Nelson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topper View Post
    Five years? Do you have a family history or did they find some benign polyps? Fortunately for me, I got the ten year pass.
    Yes, ten years. Apparently the stuff they knocked me out with yesterday hasn't completely worn off or something.

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