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Thread: I learned in church today

  1. #6451
    aka Benito Hazard thesaint258's Avatar
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    We got trek (not the Star Trek kind) reports in Stake Conference today. It was nice to hear teenagers read their thoughts about trek.
    Not that, sickos.

  2. #6452
    Strikes and Gutters chrisrenrut's Avatar
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    The seasons are out of whack, there are more storms and calamities, and the earth is in turmoil because. . . Topic du jour- we are not keeping the sabbath day holy.

  3. #6453

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    Our ward's other failings aside, we have the best musical numbers. Today's was "Come, Thou Fount" on organ, oboe, and flute.

  4. #6454
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LVAllen View Post
    Our ward's other failings aside, we have the best musical numbers. Today's was "Come, Thou Fount" on organ, oboe, and flute.
    Are you getting reorganized with the rest of the Valley today? We are having Sac. only, then a stake meeting to discuss the changes affecting 8 out of 10 units (South Stake). I've heard that Red Rock and other stakes are also being redrawn today.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  5. #6455
    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Are you getting reorganized with the rest of the Valley today? We are having Sac. only, then a stake meeting to discuss the changes affecting 8 out of 10 units (South Stake). I've heard that Red Rock and other stakes are also being redrawn today.
    No action in the Redrock stake today. All three hours.
    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

  6. #6456
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
    No action in the Redrock stake today. All three hours.
    Huh. Did you lose a ward recently? I a friend of mine was in that stake until last week, when they redrew the line and now he's in the stake to the north, I think. I thought it might be a larger realignment.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  7. #6457
    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
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    Default I learned in church today

    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Huh. Did you lose a ward recently? I a friend of mine was in that stake until last week, when they redrew the line and now he's in the stake to the north, I think. I thought it might be a larger realignment.
    We reorganized ward boundaries about six months ago. No changes to stake boundaries then or now. Still nine wards. One Spanish, one single adult.
    Last edited by Dwight Schr-ute; 08-30-2015 at 12:49 PM.
    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

  8. #6458

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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Are you getting reorganized with the rest of the Valley today? We are having Sac. only, then a stake meeting to discuss the changes affecting 8 out of 10 units (South Stake). I've heard that Red Rock and other stakes are also being redrawn today.
    Nope. But I know the Elkhorn Springs Stake had some ward realignments (plus a new ward) today.

  9. #6459
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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Huh. Did you lose a ward recently? I a friend of mine was in that stake until last week, when they redrew the line and now he's in the stake to the north, I think. I thought it might be a larger realignment.
    Hmmm. Red Rock is where I'm districted for.
    "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

    Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

  10. #6460

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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Huh. Did you lose a ward recently? I a friend of mine was in that stake until last week, when they redrew the line and now he's in the stake to the north, I think. I thought it might be a larger realignment.
    different stake, I think. I think JR's his ward was divided out of the RR stake a few years back.

    We had the boundary realignment meeting today in our stake. Apparently this is happening all over due to some recent number crunching done by the brethren (or for them, most likely), wherein it was revealed that the ideal ward size is between 300-400 members; wards either bigger or smaller than that apparently struggle with attendance/activity rates.

    They also read off a list of statistics demonstrating this. All I could think about as they listed the stats were whether they controlled for meeting time, distance to meeting house, and a myriad of other factors which probably impact attendance as much or more than ward size.
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  11. #6461
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donuthole View Post
    different stake, I think. I think JR's his ward was divided out of the RR stake a few years back.

    We had the boundary realignment meeting today in our stake. Apparently this is happening all over due to some recent number crunching done by the brethren (or for them, most likely), wherein it was revealed that the ideal ward size is between 300-400 members; wards either bigger or smaller than that apparently struggle with attendance/activity rates.

    They also read off a list of statistics demonstrating this. All I could think about as they listed the stats were whether they controlled for meeting time, distance to meeting house, and a myriad of other factors which probably impact attendance as much or more than ward size.
    Major changes to your ward?
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  12. #6462
    Royal Rooter Green Monstah's Avatar
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    My new bishop spoke today and stated that he firmly believes that the earth is 4.6 billion years old, that life on earth is the result of millions of years of evolution, and that all church historical issues can be resolved if you ha e the right facts and understand the historical context. Seems like a good dude.
    Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

    "Cog dis is a bitch." -James Patterson

  13. #6463

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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    Major changes to your ward?
    2 new wards created and all other wards realigned/divided to create them. Lots of people got put into different but already-existing wards to help the boundaries make sense. Two buildings in the stake will have 4 wards in them and will be on a 8:30/10:30/12:30/2:30 schedule. Several wards will now have to travel 15-20 mins to their new chapel.

    21 households cut out of our ward to form part of a new ward. Our bishopric was unaffected. And we meet in a different stake's building, so our meeting place was also unaffected. For now. Which is awesome, as the building is literally a block from my neighborhood.
    Last edited by Donuthole; 08-30-2015 at 01:56 PM.
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  14. #6464
    вот так штука CardiacCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green Monstah View Post
    My new bishop spoke today and stated that he firmly believes that the earth is 4.6 billion years old, that life on earth is the result of millions of years of evolution, and that all church historical issues can be resolved if you ha e the right facts and understand the historical context. Seems like a good dude.
    That's good. We have an awesome Bishop right now. Just a really normal dude, doesn't say weird stuff, 90% of what he says is true and the other 10% isn't totally insane. He's a big improvement on the last Bish.

  15. #6465
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green Monstah View Post
    My new bishop spoke today and stated that he firmly believes that the earth is 4.6 billion years old, that life on earth is the result of millions of years of evolution, and that all church historical issues can be resolved if you ha e the right facts and understand the historical context. Seems like a good dude.
    Pretty sad that someone has to get up and say something like that in 2015.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  16. #6466
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Learned that there are a lot of teams that won't play BYU for gay issues, very similar to when schools refused to play BYU ove race and priesthood issues in the past. Pure bigotry.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  17. #6467
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CardiacCoug View Post
    That's good. We have an awesome Bishop right now. Just a really normal dude, doesn't say weird stuff, 90% of what he says is true and the other 10% isn't totally insane. He's a big improvement on the last Bish.
    Something we should all shoot for.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  18. #6468

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    They just shook us up (Lake Stake) 2 years ago. I would be shocked if they changed it again.
    ( FYI I most likely wrote that incoherently and will be properly corrected forthwith. Thanks)

  19. #6469
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Y84it View Post
    They just shook us up (Lake Stake) 2 years ago. I would be shocked if they changed it again.
    You in Peccole?
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  20. #6470
    Members Only Dwight Schr-ute's Avatar
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    Being the 5th Sunday, we had combined YM/YW on Sunday. The lesson was on the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. During the "modesty" section, I heard "walking pornography" for the first time, without being sarcastic. It made me flinch. They guy teaching is a good guy and I was more than a little surprised to hear him speak so strongly, especially given the fact that he's a high school principal. He made the girls to show by a raise of hands "who wants to help the men and boys in their lives better magnify their priesthood." After spending a couple of minutes down this road, he turned to the young men with a sharp, "don't think that this is a one way street" allowing me a sigh of relief. He than lectured them that they need to be careful when working out and make sure you're wearing a shirt when you go into the hall to get a drink of water. :facepalm:

    Unfortunately, I was too chicken shit to jump in and emphasize to the YM that despite what was just said, they are 100% responsible for their own thoughts and actions. I don't mind making such comments in rooms of adults, but for whatever reasons, I'm not comfortable challenging someone in font of the more "impressionable" youth. The experience has stuck with me through the week and I regret not having spoken up since the "impressionable" youth angle is exactly why I would have said something. I'm lucky in that our teacher's quorum combine with the priests pretty regularly, so I anticipate having the opportunity in the next few weeks to follow up on this and turn the conversation some.
    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

  21. #6471
    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
    Being the 5th Sunday, we had combined YM/YW on Sunday. The lesson was on the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. During the "modesty" section, I heard "walking pornography" for the first time, without being sarcastic. It made me flinch. They guy teaching is a good guy and I was more than a little surprised to hear him speak so strongly, especially given the fact that he's a high school principal. He made the girls to show by a raise of hands "who wants to help the men and boys in their lives better magnify their priesthood." After spending a couple of minutes down this road, he turned to the young men with a sharp, "don't think that this is a one way street" allowing me a sigh of relief. He than lectured them that they need to be careful when working out and make sure you're wearing a shirt when you go into the hall to get a drink of water. :facepalm:

    Unfortunately, I was too chicken shit to jump in and emphasize to the YM that despite what was just said, they are 100% responsible for their own thoughts and actions. I don't mind making such comments in rooms of adults, but for whatever reasons, I'm not comfortable challenging someone in font of the more "impressionable" youth. The experience has stuck with me through the week and I regret not having spoken up since the "impressionable" youth angle is exactly why I would have said something. I'm lucky in that our teacher's quorum combine with the priests pretty regularly, so I anticipate having the opportunity in the next few weeks to follow up on this and turn the conversation some.
    Darn it. I hate that nonsense.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  22. #6472
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    He was right that it is important to be careful when working out. Lots of injuries or risk of over-training.
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  23. #6473
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    He was right that it is important to be careful when working out. Lots of injuries or risk of over-training.
    He was also addressing his remarks at the cross fitters in the room.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  24. #6474
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    He was right that it is important to be careful when working out. Lots of injuries or risk of over-training.
    I've been working out recently. This message was like an answer to my prayers.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  25. #6475

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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    I've been working out recently. This message was like an answer to my prayers.
    For me it was like spirit, through triplet, confirming that not working out lately has been a sound choice. It's best just to avoid the risk.
    I'm like LeBron James.
    -mpfunk

  26. #6476
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smokymountainrain View Post
    For me it was like spirit, through triplet, confirming that not working out lately has been a sound choice. It's best just to avoid the risk.
    You aren't out of the woods yet if you are going into hallways to drink water!
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  27. #6477
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    I wasn't able to be at EQ today as I was coaching football for my son, I guess I was part of the lesson presentation though as I got this text from two different people.

    image.jpg
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  28. #6478
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Our Ward just did that lesson last week. Forgot to tell you.
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  29. #6479
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    I wasn't able to be at EQ today as I was coaching football for my son, I guess I was part of the lesson presentation though as I got this text from two different people.

    image.jpg
    That tight fitting shirt HFN is walking pornography.
    "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

    Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

  30. #6480
    Senior Member Katy Lied's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    Learned that there are a lot of teams that won't play BYU for gay issues, very similar to when schools refused to play BYU ove race and priesthood issues in the past. Pure bigotry.
    Never heard of this. You can be Mo and be Gay. You can probably be Mo and go to BYU too.

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