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I learned in church today

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  • #16
    I learned in church today that when you look back and see only one set of footprints in the sand, it isn't because Jesus abandoned you, but because he was carrying you.
    If we disagree on something, it's because you're wrong.

    "Somebody needs to kill my trial attorney." — Last words of George Harris, executed in Missouri on Sept. 13, 2000.

    "Nothing is too good to be true, nothing is too good to last, nothing is too wonderful to happen." - Florence Scoville Shinn

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    • #17
      I learned in church how to make delicious fresh salsa to accompany organic tortilla chips and beer to be consumed while streaming episodes of Rescue Me... oh wait, that wasn't church, that was my kitchen and living room. Wait now, maybe church was when I was reading and playing cards by the pool... nope, I think that was just hanging out with Faith. Or was that church where LR and I met his new guitar teacher and then walked over to Borders to read comic books? Nope.

      Now that I think of it, I don't think there was any church at all today. What a waste of a Sunday!

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      • #18
        Does one have to attend to post a falsehood?
        "They're good. They've always been good" - David Shaw.

        Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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        • #19
          My buddy, while a missionary in the Phillippines, learned during fast and testimony meeting that "A dream is a vision if you remember it in the morning."
          "The mind is not a boomerang. If you throw it too far it will not come back." ~ Tom McGuane

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          • #20
            Originally posted by BlueHair View Post
            This is exactly how I've felt for years, until recently. I'm starting to feel like something is missing in my life, but every time I attend a Mormon service, I'm reminded it's not that. Maybe I just need to set aside some quiet time each week to ponder the mysteries of the universe.
            attend more art museums and galleries. good for the soul.
            Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
            God forgives many things for an act of mercy
            Alessandro Manzoni

            Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

            pelagius

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            • #21
              I learned from church yesterday that it is a woman's responsibility to figure out what the priesthood holders are being told to do by leadership so they make sure their husbands do it. This from the SP and his high councilor. Said message was not well received in my particular corner of the chapel and would have been greeted by my public and obvious departure but for the fact that I didn't want the brownies I made for my primary class to go to waste.
              Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by myboynoah View Post
                We had a dust up over Wikipedia in PH meeting.
                LOL! That teacher was a total jackass!
                Visca Catalunya Lliure

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                  I learned from church yesterday that it is a woman's responsibility to figure out what the priesthood holders are being told to do by leadership so they make sure their husbands do it. This from the SP and his high councilor. Said message was not well received in my particular corner of the chapel and would have been greeted by my public and obvious departure but for the fact that I didn't want the brownies I made for my primary class to go to waste.
                  I love hearing stuff like this. It makes me feel strenghtened in my belief that SP's and HC's advice isn't always something I have to follow.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by SoCalCoug View Post
                    I learned in church today that when you look back and see only one set of footprints in the sand, it isn't because Jesus abandoned you, but because he was carrying you.
                    We must have attended the same Sacrament mgt

                    I may be small, but I'm slow.

                    A veteran - whether active duty, retired, or national guard or reserve is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to, "The United States of America ", for an amount of "up to and including my life - it's an honor."

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by SoCalCoug View Post
                      I learned in church today that when you look back and see only one set of footprints in the sand, it isn't because Jesus abandoned you, but because he was carrying you.
                      Did you chime in about butt prints in the sand?

                      http://www.cougaruteforum.com/showpo...2&postcount=39

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                      • #26
                        I accompanied our youth to do baptisms for the dead last week. While we were waiting in the baptristry chapel, the brother presiding over the baptistry spoke to the youth, many of whom were there doing baptisms for the first time. During his sermon, he was emphasizing the importance of vicarious temple work when he stated the following:

                        "It has been estimated that 80 to 85 percent of the temple work we do for the dead is accepted by those in the spirit world for whom the work is performed."

                        I was quickly found covering my mouth to prevent myself from laughing out loud.
                        Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

                        There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
                          I accompanied our youth to do baptisms for the dead last week. While we were waiting in the baptristry chapel, the brother presiding over the baptistry spoke to the youth, many of whom were there doing baptisms for the first time. During his sermon, he was emphasizing the importance of vicarious temple work when he stated the following:

                          "It has been estimated that 80 to 85 percent of the temple work we do for the dead is accepted by those in the spirit world for whom the work is performed."

                          I was quickly found covering my mouth to prevent myself from laughing out loud.
                          Why wouldn't it be 99.5%. I mean all those that weren't Christian would know Christ was the correct choice. I would assume they also can find out the LDS church is the only true Christian church.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by byu71 View Post
                            Why wouldn't it be 99.5%. I mean all those that weren't Christian would know Christ was the correct choice. I would assume they also can find out the LDS church is the only true Christian church.
                            Why do you think I felt like laughing?
                            Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

                            There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
                              Why do you think I felt like laughing?
                              I would have probably been quite sad. He was a Temple Worker after all and would know the 85% to be accurate. I mean he had to get that number for some really high up person in the church.

                              By the way, why do some people say someone died because they had to be called to the other side to do missionary work. How hard could missionary work be on the other side?

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
                                I accompanied our youth to do baptisms for the dead last week. While we were waiting in the baptristry chapel, the brother presiding over the baptistry spoke to the youth, many of whom were there doing baptisms for the first time. During his sermon, he was emphasizing the importance of vicarious temple work when he stated the following:

                                "It has been estimated that 80 to 85 percent of the temple work we do for the dead is accepted by those in the spirit world for whom the work is performed."

                                I was quickly found covering my mouth to prevent myself from laughing out loud.
                                LOL! That's one of the worst statements I've ever heard. I am wondering where they get the spirit pencils to fill out that particular survey.
                                Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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