Originally posted by TripletDaddy
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I learned in church today
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Originally posted by Babs View PostCoulda fooled me.
http://cougaruteforum.com/showpost.p...88&postcount=1
Even Viking was impressed by that display.
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Originally posted by YOhio View PostHey CUF! It's not "Beat up on Tim" Sunday. Back off.Visca Catalunya Lliure
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Originally posted by Tim View PostI'm at a point where I don't really care what other people think of me, so it doesn't really bother me if people disagree with me. What bothers me is the multiple standards used by the in-crowd to justify the way they treat people here. I'm accused of being condescending, yet the accusations themselves are generally condescending. I always find it humorous when people accuse me of being condescending in condescending ways. Some people aren't very self-aware, I guess...At least the Big Ten went after a big-time addition in Nebraska; the Pac-10 wanted a game so badly, it added Utah
-Berry Trammel, 12/3/10
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Originally posted by CardiacCoug View PostIt's easy to be an expert on parenting before you have kids. When you have a few kids you will see that's it not always easy to apply that expertise and idealism.
Think of all the posts here about food. If we had a chef on the site would we be okay with him/her ridiculing everyone's food opinions and restaurant reviews just because they hadn't been to culinary school? The idea sounds preposterous, yet that's what happens whenever I mention something about parenting. It's perplexing that there's such a double standard.
There's value in life in listening to the theoretical opinions of people who aren't in the thick of things. Wisdom can come from a number of sources, some of them based on study, some from unbiased observation, and some from personal experience. Why shut down someone who may have something value to contribute, even if it's not valuable to you? Just say "I disagree based on my experience" and move on. This is a community -- that means that people with different viewpoints have a place to share their opinions.
No big deal, though. Life goes on.Last edited by Tim; 08-19-2012, 01:22 PM.Visca Catalunya Lliure
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Originally posted by Tim View PostThere's value in life in listening to the theoretical opinions of people who aren't in the thick of things. Wisdom can come from a number of sources, some of them based on study, some from unbiased observation, and some from personal experience. Why shut down someone who may have something value to contribute, even if it's not valuable to you? Just say "I disagree based on my experience" and move on. This is a community -- that means that people with different viewpoints have a place to share their opinions.
No big deal, though. Life goes on.
The thing that has surprised me the most about being a parent is how each kid is unique and how each kid reacts totally differently to each parenting strategy. They really are their own people and impossible to control at times.
Not to dig up an old thread (but I will anyway ) but the example of being irritated because kids are crying and making noise on the airplane just kills me. Nobody wants the kids to shut up any more than the parents and sometimes it's just not possible. Same thing probably goes for Sacrament Meeting.
Most good people like you in those situations think, "Oh those poor parents, that's a tough situation to be in with kids that won't be quiet." They don't think "Why are they such bad parents who can't shut their kids up so I can enjoy this flight or Sacrament Meeting a little more?"Last edited by CardiacCoug; 08-19-2012, 01:40 PM.
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Originally posted by CardiacCoug View PostSure, that makes sense and I think people are listening to your opinion and the response from the parents is "It's not as simple as you seem to think it is." and "Show a little empathy for the parents."
I have empathy for parents who are making honest attempts to control their children but who are unsuccessful. My wife and I frequently hold children of the families around us at church when the parents are overwhelmed or have to take their kids out (See how that fits in your assumptions about me). I love children, I love babies. I hate that I have to constantly re-explain this. My issue is with parents not actually making an effort. Saying "being reverent is nice" is lip service.
Not to dig up an old thread (but I will anyway ) but the example of being irritated because kids are crying and making noise on the airplane just kills me. Nobody wants the kids to shut up any more than the parents and sometimes it's just not possible. Same thing probably goes for Sacrament Meeting.
The only reason this belief that I hate children stays with me is because of people like you who keep "remembering" something that I never actually said.
Most good people like you in those situations think, "Oh those poor parents, that's a tough situation to be in with kids that won't be quiet." They don't think "Why are they such bad parents who can't shut their kids up so I can enjoy this flight or Sacrament Meeting a little more?"Visca Catalunya Lliure
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Originally posted by Tim View PostI'm at a point where I don't really care what other people think of me, so it doesn't really bother me if people disagree with me. What bothers me is the multiple standards used by the in-crowd to justify the way they treat people here. I'm accused of being condescending, yet the accusations themselves are generally condescending. I always find it humorous when people accuse me of being condescending in condescending ways. Some people aren't very self-aware, I guess...
Most people try to manage that as best they can but there are definitely some who either (1) give up and don't try or (2) are weak parents/personalities in general and won't/don't try/know how. I think what people are saying to you Tim (though it has turned into a gratuitous dog pile) is that it is much harder to judge which of those things is happening for non-parents. I don't think the point would have been made to you over and over here had you not sounded as certain as you did that you knew that "it's nice to be reverent" was an example of non-parenting. That might be the best approach for that child (for example, one of my kids is very difficult to come at head on, if you do she just digs in tighter no matter how mad you get) or you could be right that the person is being discourteous. Hard to say without more context, though certainly possible this was bad parenting/discourteous.
At some point a child needs to be taken outside whether you are at church, a wedding or a movie theater. That is the better measure of courtesy to me. In other words, what do they do after what ever tactics they are using fail. But I think church is like a kids movie. If you have ever been to a kids movie as an adult, you notice there is lots of noise, getting up and down, talking, crying, etc. It's a kids movie. You just come in with a lot higher tolerance level than if you are at an adult movie and someone decides to talk through it. Also, I like you.
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Weird that coming on a board full of members of larger than average families and calling a parent "naively ignorant" while having no children of your own (and apparently missing the irony) wouldn't garner a more favorable response.At least the Big Ten went after a big-time addition in Nebraska; the Pac-10 wanted a game so badly, it added Utah
-Berry Trammel, 12/3/10
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Originally posted by UtahDan View PostAll children are hard to manage for three hours of church. It's not reasonable to imagine that they will behave for all of that time or even any of that time on bad days. It's one reason I always thought church was way too long. It's hard for adults to sit still that long.
Most people try to manage that as best they can but there are definitely some who either (1) give up and don't try or (2) are weak parents/personalities in general and won't/don't try/know how. I think what people are saying to you Tim (though it has turned into a gratuitous dog pile) is that it is much harder to judge which of those things is happening for non-parents. I don't think the point would have been made to you over and over here had you not sounded as certain as you did that you knew that "it's nice to be reverent" was an example of non-parenting. That might be the best approach for that child (for example, one of my kids is very difficult to come at head on, if you do she just digs in tighter no matter how mad you get) or you could be right that the person is being discourteous. Hard to say without more context, though certainly possible this was bad parenting/discourteous.
At some point a child needs to be taken outside whether you are at church, a wedding or a movie theater. That is the better measure of courtesy to me. In other words, what do they do after what ever tactics they are using fail. But I think church is like a kids movie. If you have ever been to a kids movie as an adult, you notice there is lots of noise, getting up and down, talking, crying, etc. It's a kids movie. You just come in with a lot higher tolerance level than if you are at an adult movie and someone decides to talk through it. Also, I like you.Visca Catalunya Lliure
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Originally posted by ERCougar View PostWeird that coming on a board full of members of larger than average families and calling a parent "naively ignorant" while having no children of your own (and apparently missing the irony) wouldn't garner a more favorable response.Visca Catalunya Lliure
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