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I learned in church today

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  • Originally posted by cougjunkie View Post
    If you don't fake mouth to shirt pocket you clearly were never on church discipline as a youth. Doesn't work as well for the water, but for the bread it was easy. Didn't matter if your parents sat right next to you or not.
    yeah, but as fusnik noted years ago, shirt pockets are no longer cool. Got to improvise now.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

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    • I learned that, at least for a nearby Welfare ranch operation, the calves that are born there do not get shipped to a Welfare feedlot to be raised and eventually butchered, contributing to the Storehouse as a commodity. That used to happen but now, they get sold for cash. I guess Church Welfare's position is that you can buy anything in the world with money.

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      • After taking the bread today, I had a coughing fit that lasted until the water circulated. I dont know what it is about non-glutin bread, but it does not agree with me. After church I asked the bishopric if I could bring some Grandma Sycamore's bread and put it in a plastic baggie, for just myself. You should have seen their faces.

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        • Today I learned that the sacrament prayers do not have to be word perfect if the priest is mentally challenged (or whatever the current politically correct term is for "retarded" these days) and the bishop decides that having them participate - there were two of them - is more important than perfect wording.

          Half of the congregation wasn't sure when to say "amen" for one of them.

          This was in a ward in Cache Valley, Utah the day after my granddaughter was baptized and confirmed by my son.

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          • Originally posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
            Today I learned that the sacrament prayers do not have to be word perfect if the priest is mentally challenged (or whatever the current politically correct term is for "retarded" these days) and the bishop decides that having them participate - there were two of them - is more important than perfect wording.

            Half of the congregation wasn't sure when to say "amen" for one of them.

            This was in a ward in Cache Valley, Utah the day after my granddaughter was baptized and confirmed by my son.
            There's been a less stringent approach to Sacrament prayers the last few years... Bishop's are taking into consideration the abilities of the prayer giver, and their mental toughness to stand real time correction in front of two hundred people. Weaker prayer givers are given a wide berth because it's a worse option to have to sit through six failed prayer attempts and then ultimately surrender to a bad prayer anyway.

            You asked, I'll answer. Saying someone is "retarded" is not just politically incorrect. It's more than that. You just don't do it. That's like saying that "not" calling a black person the n-word is just being politically correct. (wink-wink) That's not true - you just don't do it. Period. Regardless of political affiliation. Mentally challenged is insulting too by the way.

            If you feel the need to comment you would say "brain injured."
            Last edited by clackamascoug; 03-11-2019, 10:55 AM.

            When poet puts pen to paper imagination breathes life, finding hearth and home.
            -Mid Summer's Night Dream

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            • When I blessed the Sacrament the first time, one of the sisters in the ward walked to the front and told the Bishop that I said it wrong. He did not hear anything wrong, nor did anyone else, but I recited the prayer a second time. She apologized to me after the meeting, but emphasized how important it is to be spoken correctly.

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              • Originally posted by Bo Diddley View Post
                When I blessed the Sacrament the first time, one of the sisters in the ward walked to the front and told the Bishop that I said it wrong. He did not hear anything wrong, nor did anyone else, but I recited the prayer a second time. She apologized to me after the meeting, but emphasized how important it is to be spoken correctly.
                Seriously? What a dumb thing to do.

                Stay in yo lane, sister.
                "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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                • Originally posted by clackamascoug View Post
                  There's been a less stringent approach to Sacrament prayers the last few years... Bishop's are taking into consideration the abilities of the prayer giver, and their mental toughness to stand real time correction in front of two hundred people. Weaker prayer givers are given a wide berth because it's a worse option to have to sit through six failed prayer attempts and then ultimately surrender to a bad prayer anyway.
                  This is good, in fact if any kid even gets close I feel they should let it go. It was a little awkward to teach about prayer on the mission and how it's not vain repetition and then go to Sacrament meeting and hear some kid say it three times because he keeps missing a word.

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                  • Originally posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
                    Today I learned that the sacrament prayers do not have to be word perfect if the priest is mentally challenged (or whatever the current politically correct term is for "retarded" these days) and the bishop decides that having them participate - there were two of them - is more important than perfect wording.

                    Half of the congregation wasn't sure when to say "amen" for one of them.

                    This was in a ward in Cache Valley, Utah the day after my granddaughter was baptized and confirmed by my son.
                    Wow why did any person ever think it mattered if the prayer was perfect? Come on people!

                    The Spirit told me loud and clear every single time I ever witnessed a Bishop make a poor kid repeat a prayer that the Bishop was being unkind and stupid under the influence of foolish traditions.

                    Sorry — just being honest!

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                    • Actually my earliest recollection of the Sacrament prayers were of a priest with a stutter saying the prayer. He repeated the prayer 6 or more times. I forget if they finally let it go, or if they had one of the other priests say the prayer.

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                      • Originally posted by Scott R Nelson View Post
                        Today I learned that the sacrament prayers do not have to be word perfect if the priest is mentally challenged (or whatever the current politically correct term is for "retarded" these days) and the bishop decides that having them participate - there were two of them - is more important than perfect wording.

                        Half of the congregation wasn't sure when to say "amen" for one of them.

                        This was in a ward in Cache Valley, Utah the day after my granddaughter was baptized and confirmed by my son.
                        special needs
                        I'm like LeBron James.
                        -mpfunk

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                        • The pioneers are rolling over in their graves at how easy we have it today in the church. I seriously wonder if this religion can still sufficiently produce the faith necessary for salvation.
                          "Friendship is the grand fundamental principle of Mormonism" - Joseph Smith Jr.

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                          • My ancestors will rescue me in my weak faith. Good thing they are part of my plan. Sorry converts.

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                            • Originally posted by Katy Lied View Post
                              My ancestors will rescue me in my weak faith. Good thing they are part of my plan. Sorry converts.
                              Doesn't temple work for ancestors fit the bill if you're a convert? Wouldn't the very act of a convert doing temple work for her ancestors serve to strengthen the convert's faith? If it did strengthen the convert's faith couldn't we conclude that the convert's ancestors did indeed rescue the convert in her weak faith?

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                              • Originally posted by Sullyute View Post
                                The pioneers are rolling over in their graves at how easy we have it today in the church. I seriously wonder if this religion can still sufficiently produce the faith necessary for salvation.
                                How do we have it easier? I mean... other than only having one wife. We still have to pray/develop a testimony of the BoM, living prophets, etc. That shit ain't easy son.
                                You're actually pretty funny when you aren't being a complete a-hole....so basically like 5% of the time. --Art Vandelay
                                Almost everything you post is snarky, smug, condescending, or just downright mean-spirited. --Jeffrey Lebowski

                                Anyone can make war, but only the most courageous can make peace. --President Donald J. Trump
                                You furnish the pictures, and I’ll furnish the war. --William Randolph Hearst

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