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  • I went to a Missionary homecoming Sunday. When you combine a stack of new 11 year-old deacons with an overflowing capacity crowd, it makes for a disastrous Sacrament portion of the meeting. Seriously, by the time they got done there were only 20 minutes left for the speakers.

    Next a sister gets up and says something along the lines of "The RM told me I could take all of the time. But I'm not going to do that - we want to hear what he has to say too!" Only, she then proceeds to speak for 15 of the 20 minutes remaining. Next comes a musical number (Come Thou Font, sung by members of the RM's family, accompanied by the RM) and by the time the RM gets up to speak, we've got 2 minutes left of meeting.

    The kid did a good job of condensing his 15 minute talk into 5 minutes, and with one verse of the closing hymn we were done about 6-7 minutes late.

    Pro-tip to anyone in a Bishopric out there - if you're doing a missionary homecoming or farewell, have the missionary speak first. Let them say whatever they need to say (even if some of it leads to a future post like Dwight's). Also - if you've got a Auxiliary Presidency speaking, let the president go first! No one wants to hear for Counselors for the whole meeting, leaving 2-3 minutes for the president to just give a testimony to wrap up. Put the most important speakers first!

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
      Not it wasn’t. The whole thing was like 25 minutes of her stream of consciousness. It was nice when little pieces of her mission language poked through, like when she said, “We had this investigator that we were really stoked about.” That made it a little more interesting. Mostly it was just confusing and disappointing, though. When she got choked up introducing herself, I knew we were in for it.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
      Did her talk include anything about the evils of legalized marijuana?
      As I lead this army, make room for mistakes and depression
      --Kendrick Lamar

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      • Originally posted by Eddie View Post
        I went to a Missionary homecoming Sunday. When you combine a stack of new 11 year-old deacons with an overflowing capacity crowd, it makes for a disastrous Sacrament portion of the meeting. Seriously, by the time they got done there were only 20 minutes left for the speakers.

        Next a sister gets up and says something along the lines of "The RM told me I could take all of the time. But I'm not going to do that - we want to hear what he has to say too!" Only, she then proceeds to speak for 15 of the 20 minutes remaining. Next comes a musical number (Come Thou Font, sung by members of the RM's family, accompanied by the RM) and by the time the RM gets up to speak, we've got 2 minutes left of meeting.

        The kid did a good job of condensing his 15 minute talk into 5 minutes, and with one verse of the closing hymn we were done about 6-7 minutes late.

        Pro-tip to anyone in a Bishopric out there - if you're doing a missionary homecoming or farewell, have the missionary speak first. Let them say whatever they need to say (even if some of it leads to a future post like Dwight's). Also - if you've got a Auxiliary Presidency speaking, let the president go first! No one wants to hear for Counselors for the whole meeting, leaving 2-3 minutes for the president to just give a testimony to wrap up. Put the most important speakers first!
        I agree. It's amazing how shaving off ten minutes has made it nerve-racking for members of Bishoprics.

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        • Our Bishop has decided that we will either have two adult speakers and no youth speakers, or two youth and 1 adult speaker. Genius if you ask me.

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          • We got rid on the intermediate hymn. I think it may come back next month as I'd rather sing than listen to someone talk.

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            • Originally posted by BigPiney View Post
              I'd rather sing than listen to someone talk.
              Exactly.
              "What are you prepared to do?" - Jimmy Malone

              "What choice?" - Abe Petrovsky

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              • We had the same deacon round robin. All these 11 year olds, and all new. (We have 2 existing deacons, and about 7 new ones came in. No teachers, 1 priest who was blessing). They had no idea what to do and where to go. The experienced deacon had to physically go and point each deacon toward his assignment, and they offered the sacrament to the congregation before the bishop was served. (Do we really need to observe that convention?). I asked my husband why they didn't do a walk through the previous week in quorum and he replied "Probably because they were setting them apart." I looked at him incredulously.

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                • Originally posted by Katy Lied View Post
                  I asked my husband why they didn't do a walk through the previous week in quorum and he replied "Probably because they were setting them apart." I looked at him incredulously.
                  That was the mutual activity in our ward for the deacons. I think they revisited it this week (our mutual meets on Tuesday this year). And they were indeed conferring the priesthood on all the new deacons, and ordaining the new teachers and priests the first week.

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                  • Our new Deacons, Teachers, and Priests are doing a great job.
                    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

                    For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

                    Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

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                    • There is a SUPER opinionated woman in our ward. There is no gray for her - everything is black and white. And apparently she's teaching her children all the correct principles she can come up with.

                      In Primary last week the chorister asked the kids who they can follow Jesus and/or what kinds of things make God happy.

                      This gal's son raises his hand, and then explained that we can follow Jesus by not praying like Catholics. Catholics just say the same stuff over and over and over. It's really annoying for God and he doesn't like it.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Eddie View Post
                        There is a SUPER opinionated woman in our ward. There is no gray for her - everything is black and white. And apparently she's teaching her children all the correct principles she can come up with.

                        In Primary last week the chorister asked the kids who they can follow Jesus and/or what kinds of things make God happy.

                        This gal's son raises his hand, and then explained that we can follow Jesus by not praying like Catholics. Catholics just say the same stuff over and over and over. It's really annoying for God and he doesn't like it.
                        I imagine that I annoy God very much.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Eddie View Post
                          There is a SUPER opinionated woman in our ward. There is no gray for her - everything is black and white. And apparently she's teaching her children all the correct principles she can come up with.

                          In Primary last week the chorister asked the kids who they can follow Jesus and/or what kinds of things make God happy.

                          This gal's son raises his hand, and then explained that we can follow Jesus by not praying like Catholics. Catholics just say the same stuff over and over and over. It's really annoying for God and he doesn't like it.
                          Temple service has got to be the single most annoying thing God has ever had to witness.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by swampfrog View Post
                            Temple service has got to be the single most annoying thing God has ever had to witness.
                            Or thousands of sacrament prayers each week.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Bo Diddley View Post
                              I imagine that I annoy God very much.
                              Originally posted by swampfrog View Post
                              Temple service has got to be the single most annoying thing God has ever had to witness.
                              Originally posted by chrisrenrut View Post
                              Or thousands of sacrament prayers each week.
                              Excuse me. He said "by not praying like Catholics."

                              Stay focused.
                              Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

                              For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

                              Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Eddie View Post
                                There is a SUPER opinionated woman in our ward. There is no gray for her - everything is black and white. And apparently she's teaching her children all the correct principles she can come up with.

                                In Primary last week the chorister asked the kids who they can follow Jesus and/or what kinds of things make God happy.

                                This gal's son raises his hand, and then explained that we can follow Jesus by not praying like Catholics. Catholics just say the same stuff over and over and over. It's really annoying for God and he doesn't like it.
                                Ha! I was taught that growing up. I was also taught that aids was gods way of punishing gay people. In seminary I was taught that righteous native Americans will have their skin physically get lighter. Come to think of it, I was taught a lot of false things. Maybe that’s why I’m so messed up.
                                "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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