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Thread: Seniorits mentioned my mancrush on Jake Schoff

  1. #1
    Senior Member Goatnapper'96's Avatar
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    Default Seniorits mentioned my mancrush on Jake Schoff

    I am trying to think of a kid that BYU has had that I loved like that since Jake left. Cummard is special in what he does across the spectrum of the game, but his failure to show up in some really crucial games hovers over his legacy. Perhaps if he really brings it in San Diego or Las Vegas and BYU can win a road game over either of those two and salvage the choke job in half 2 against Vegas, he might reach that threshold of love and adoration.

    Tavernari doesn't do it for me. Jimmer Fredette might. Trent Plaisted was hard to love as well. Sam Burgess and Jimmy Balderson, I always hated Canadians and the cousins of those who offend my people so nope. Dave Rose's SIL was fun but not really. KY...AKA THE JELLY! He is probably pretty close. Am I missing anyone?

    Not one of them would forgo socks for the up to mid ankle tape job and then just stuff his fat and bloodied foot into a shoe, throw on headband and sexily shake his 270lbs of chewed bubblegum for the glory of my people like Jake did. Further neither of those I mentioned can play D1 hoops, which is debateable I admit, with having a higher buttcrack cleavage coeffecient than Tim. I heart Jake Schoff. I always have and I always will. When will Cougarnation have a baller who gives a JakeSchoff like effort?
    Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
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    I'm choosing to mostly ignore your fatuity here and instead overwhelm you with so much data that you'll maybe, just maybe, realize that you have reams to read on this subject before you can contribute meaningfully to any conversation on this topic.
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  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatnapper'96 View Post
    I am trying to think of a kid that BYU has had that I loved like that since Jake left. Cummard is special in what he does across the spectrum of the game, but his failure to show up in some really crucial games hovers over his legacy. Perhaps if he really brings it in San Diego or Las Vegas and BYU can win a road game over either of those two and salvage the choke job in half 2 against Vegas, he might reach that threshold of love and adoration.

    Tavernari doesn't do it for me. Jimmer Fredette might. Trent Plaisted was hard to love as well. Sam Burgess and Jimmy Balderson, I always hated Canadians and the cousins of those who offend my people so nope. Dave Rose's SIL was fun but not really. KY...AKA THE JELLY! He is probably pretty close. Am I missing anyone?

    Not one of them would forgo socks for the up to mid ankle tape job and then just stuff his fat and bloodied foot into a shoe, throw on headband and sexily shake his 270lbs of chewed bubblegum for the glory of my people like Jake did. Further neither of those I mentioned can play D1 hoops, which is debateable I admit, with having a higher buttcrack cleavage coeffecient than Tim. I heart Jake Schoff. I always have and I always will. When will Cougarnation have a baller who gives a JakeSchoff like effort?
    Jackson Emery gives a Jack Schoff like effort every night and he actually has skills to go with it. That kid is nails and goes balls to the wall all the time.
    *Banned*

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    Senior Member Goatnapper'96's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cougjunkie View Post
    Jackson Emery gives a Jack Schoff like effort every night and he actually has skills to go with it. That kid is nails and goes balls to the wall all the time.
    Good point. His interviews are really strange, the voice just doesn't match the rippled and debonaire personality. I mean it ain't as alarming as some hot looking drag queen with big knockers having a voice that lets me know there is a small elephant trunk where I imagined canned peaches, but it still strikes me as weird. Jake on the other hand just grunted through interviews. I respected that.

    Emery will be the glue the next two years. Jake was rubber and Jackson is our glue! Long live Lone Peak High graduates, that is where Jake went right?
    Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
    -General George S. Patton

    I'm choosing to mostly ignore your fatuity here and instead overwhelm you with so much data that you'll maybe, just maybe, realize that you have reams to read on this subject before you can contribute meaningfully to any conversation on this topic.
    -DOCTOR Wuap

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatnapper'96 View Post
    Good point. His interviews are really strange, the voice just doesn't match the rippled and debonaire personality. I mean it ain't as alarming as some hot looking drag queen with big knockers having a voice that lets me know there is a small elephant trunk where I imagined canned peaches, but it still strikes me as weird. Jake on the other hand just grunted through interviews. I respected that.

    Emery will be the glue the next two years. Jake was rubber and Jackson is our glue! Long live Lone Peak High graduates, that is where Jake went right?
    Jake went to American Fork. But they are in the same town so your point is a good one. Also even though he lacked talent and was 30 by the time he graduated Sam Burgess was another tough guy from that area, I hope Haws gets some of that LP toughness.
    *Banned*

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    Semper infra dignitatem PaloAltoCougar's Avatar
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    My unabashed manlove for Jake, a white version of the Round Mound of Rebound, is a matter of record. He always gave me the impression of a guy who had been watching the game at home, having a beverage and consuming a large bag of Tostitos when, after complaining about the lack of hustle he's seeing, is magically transported to the court, without so much as a chance to look at himself in the mirror first. But to the amazement of everyone, he actually has decent skills for a man of his carriage, and provides the hustle and spark the he and everyone else wanted to see.

    I was tempted to write "Jake" on my eyelids and bat them seductively in his direction, but I was fresh out of eyebrow pencil.

    Junkie's probably right about Emery, as I love the way he dives around the court.

    And in football, I'm still hoping Atem Bol will someday appear on the field at LES, as I want very much to cheer for the Lost Boys of Sudan.

  6. #6

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    I would like to think that I have something in common with Jake's Over the Top.

    I once had a mission companion tell me I was good at hoops for a man of my appreciable size. What a jerk.

    I sat on him.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaloAltoCougar View Post
    And in football, I'm still hoping Atem Bol will someday appear on the field at LES, as I want very much to cheer for the Lost Boys of Sudan.
    It looks like Atem redshirted at Snow last year. This is actually good for BYU, as he can play this year and then hopefully have his AA and he can transfer to the Y with 3 years left.
    *Banned*

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    Not Banned Tim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatnapper'96 View Post
    higher buttcrack cleavage coeffecient than Tim
    I hate you.
    Visca Catalunya Lliure

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    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    FWIW, Steve Cleveland use to tell me all the time how much he loved Jake Shoff. What coach wouldn't love a guy like that?
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    The dude abides Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    I always liked Travis Hansen. He seemed to be able to step his game up a notch when the game was on the line.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

  11. #11
    Senior Member il Padrino Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
    FWIW, Steve Cleveland use to tell me all the time how much he loved Jake Shoff. What coach wouldn't love a guy like that?

    I'm sure Majerus loved Schoff. He was the BYU version of Sean Mooney.
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  12. #12

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    In honor of your mancrush:





    *Banned*

  13. #13
    Senior Member Katy Lied's Avatar
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    I have a major Jimmer jones.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Katy Lied View Post
    I have a major Jimmer jones.
    I'd like to say I have a major Jimmer, but that wouldn't be entirely accurate.

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    Senior Member myboynoah's Avatar
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    Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

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    Senior Member Goatnapper'96's Avatar
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    I remember jumping on this man's very respectable bandwagon when I first saw him as a whiter, younger, sexier, possessor of more buttcrack cleavage and less sexually active version of ML Carr. There he was swinging that towel like Pecos Bill does a rattlesnake and giving chest bumps to Travis Hansen as a redshirt in 2001-2002. He was into it like no other redshirt and it was obvious this man would one day take my nipples to a realm of flaccidity not yet reached before nor after I met Jake.

    Take heart, his crack is more expansive than the frequently used Jenna of day's gone by, there is plenty of Jake for us all to have a piece of him to love!

    I HEART JAKE SCHOFF!
    Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
    -General George S. Patton

    I'm choosing to mostly ignore your fatuity here and instead overwhelm you with so much data that you'll maybe, just maybe, realize that you have reams to read on this subject before you can contribute meaningfully to any conversation on this topic.
    -DOCTOR Wuap

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatnapper'96 View Post
    I remember jumping on this man's very respectable bandwagon when I first saw him as a whiter, younger, sexier, possessor of more buttcrack cleavage and less sexually active version of ML Carr. There he was swinging that towel like Pecos Bill does a rattlesnake and giving chest bumps to Travis Hansen as a redshirt in 2001-2002. He was into it like no other redshirt and it was obvious this man would one day take my nipples to a realm of flaccidity not yet reached before nor after I met Jake.

    Take heart, his crack is more expansive than the frequently used Jenna of day's gone by, there is plenty of Jake for us all to have a piece of him to love!

    I HEART JAKE SCHOFF!
    Just so you know if you truly hearted him as much as you say, you would spell his name right. Its Shoff. No "C".
    *Banned*

  18. #18
    Senior Member Goatnapper'96's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cougjunkie View Post
    Just so you know if you truly hearted him as much as you say, you would spell his name right. Its Shoff. No "C".
    When you have buttCrack Cleavage like Jake, there must be a C somewhere.

    Since there is no C in Jake, I heart Jake SChoff!
    Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
    -General George S. Patton

    I'm choosing to mostly ignore your fatuity here and instead overwhelm you with so much data that you'll maybe, just maybe, realize that you have reams to read on this subject before you can contribute meaningfully to any conversation on this topic.
    -DOCTOR Wuap

  19. #19
    Senior Member Goatnapper'96's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tim View Post
    I hate you.
    But I cannot lie. I like big butts though the other fellas may deny!
    Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
    -General George S. Patton

    I'm choosing to mostly ignore your fatuity here and instead overwhelm you with so much data that you'll maybe, just maybe, realize that you have reams to read on this subject before you can contribute meaningfully to any conversation on this topic.
    -DOCTOR Wuap

  20. #20
    Grooveshark dick tease MarkGrace's Avatar
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    I've got some good stories about Jake, Big Daddy, Big Momma, and the rest of the Shoff crew. They were an entertaining bunch.

  21. #21

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    Prayers for Jake Shoff. He was kayaking in hawaii and got attacked by wasps and had a reaction. He is unconscious and on a ventilator


  22. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by LiveCoug View Post
    Prayers for Jake Shoff. He was kayaking in hawaii and got attacked by wasps and had a reaction. He is unconscious and on a ventilator

    He's awake and talking now. That's good news.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    *Banned*

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by cougjunkie View Post
    He's awake and talking now. That's good news.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Incredibly bad news. Such a freak accident.

    But if this is to be believed, here is the good news.

    http://www.cougarboard.com/board/mes...ml?id=18098427
    Last edited by Topper; 07-18-2017 at 09:52 PM.
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