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  • #61
    I ate some sour cream with an expiration date that was at least a month old last week.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by RobinFinderson View Post
      Did you know because they spoke Mexican?
      He knew because their had been a lot of muggings in a neighborhood full of mexicans.
      *Banned*

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      • #63
        Originally posted by RC Vikings View Post
        I ate some sour cream with an expiration date that was at least a month old last week.
        You are so edgy, really on the edge, man, if you had a guitar you would BE the edge!
        PLesa excuse the tpyos.

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        • #64
          Originally posted by YOhio View Post
          Ooooh...sounds classy. When you're out here for the Buckeye-Trojan game, I need to take you to a local, hip coffee shop I discovered called McCafe. Free wi-fi and even though the drinks are cheap, they're gourmet.
          Yeah, and show him that Frank Lloyd Wright converted apartment building you're so proud of.
          Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

          For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

          Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

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          • #65
            Originally posted by creekster View Post
            You are so edgy, really on the edge, man, if you had a guitar you would BE the edge!
            I wanted to change my name to "The Edge" when I was young but I changed my mind when I turned twenty one and saw it was taken.

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            • #66
              Two incidents come to mind for me.

              1. we were up in Rock Canyon playing laser tag at night. There were some steep areas and I wasn't sure exactly where we were, and it was dark. I was on my hands and knees, backing over rock, when I went off the edge. I had no idea how far to the ground it was - whether it was just a rock, or if it was the edge of a much longer drop.

              It was a cliff and I died.


              Okay, obviously, it was just a boulder, about 3 feet to the ground. But for a brief, split second, I had no idea how far I was going to fall, or how hard I would hit. Freaked me out.

              2. On my mission, we were tracting in the suburbs north of Chicago. We knocked on a door, and someone lowered a shotgun out the door and pointed it at my chest. "When he said "Bye bye, Heil Hitler", I stepped aside and we left.

              I served several months on the south side of Chicago, and never really felt in any danger - people there were generally very respectful of us as "church people".
              If we disagree on something, it's because you're wrong.

              "Somebody needs to kill my trial attorney." — Last words of George Harris, executed in Missouri on Sept. 13, 2000.

              "Nothing is too good to be true, nothing is too good to last, nothing is too wonderful to happen." - Florence Scoville Shinn

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              • #67
                Originally posted by SteelBlue View Post
                Every one of these is 10 times scarier than anything that's ever happened to me. What happened to the investigator in your story? Did he survive?
                He survived. Actually was discharged from the hospital the next day without any broken bones. Just some of the worst bruises I have ever seen and some nasty lacerations. The truck drove straight through him and he got launched up and over it. His face shattered the guy's windshield. I thought he was dead for sure. He told us later that he "jumped just before the truck hit him like Jackie Chan." He thought that was hilarious.

                I remember my freshman year in HS there was a fight right at the bus stop. A car pulled up in the adjacent parking lot (ironically, the LDS church parking lot) and a few guys bail out and then a few kids start screaming GUN. The bus showed up at about the same time, and you never saw kids jump on the bus so fast. I never saw the gun. I just heard the word and ran with everyone else. I didn't realize how dangerous it could have been until afterward.
                "Nobody listens to Turtle."
                -Turtle
                sigpic

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                • #68
                  I was driving my 1988 manual transmission Honda Accord (white exterior - hope that doesn't make my racist, Robin) pretty quickly on the way up a canyon to a Utah campsite with my wife, trailed by two of my brothers in town for a visit. Even with my excessive speed, I never really ran into any trouble since the upward slope would slow me down pretty quickly.

                  On the way back the next morning, I was still driving pretty quickly. I came up to a somewhat blind bend to the right which was tighter than I had anticipated. There was no railing on the left side of the road and a big drop off into the canyon. For a moment, while I turned the wheel sharply to the right, I was sure we were headed for the base of the canyon. After we made it back on the road and my wife's screaming had somewhat subsided, I pulled off at a clearing. My nerves were a wreck but we were still intact. We switched seats and she drove the rest of the way home.

                  In talking with my brothers afterward, they said that the driver-side wheels had gone over the side of the cliff.
                  Last edited by Pelado; 11-08-2018, 11:20 AM.
                  "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
                  - Goatnapper'96

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                  • #69
                    Holy smokes! Glad you're still with us.

                    For the life of me, I can't unpack your description unless the steering wheel is on the RH side of your car.

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                    • #70
                      my three near death experiences:

                      I was 18, 1st time ever rappelling, fell upside down, just started free falling for about 50 feet - my belayer (the girl i was dating at time) stopped me about 4 inches from a ledge that was sticking out of the cliff - i was upside down so when i stopped i turned my head a bit and realized was about 4 inches from dying.

                      At age 5, my family went up to the grotto falls up payson canyon - my 7 - at the time - brother and i hiked up to the top of the falls. i got too close to the edge, slipped and grabbed hold of a weed with my feel dangling off the edge. my 7 year old brother reached down and pulled me back up. my parents were at the bottom of the falls and watched all this happen. mom says she thought i was dead.

                      9th anniversary, saturday morning, Edgewater Hotal, Seattle WA - my wife had a bunch of stuff planned, but i insisted on watching UK vs UNC - Rajon Rondo was must see TV. murder, not divorce, was on the mind of mrs SMR that morning.
                      I'm like LeBron James.
                      -mpfunk

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                      • #71
                        Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
                        9th anniversary, saturday morning, Edgewater Hotal, Seattle WA - my wife had a bunch of stuff planned, but i insisted on watching UK vs UNC - Rajon Rondo was must see TV. murder, not divorce, was on the mind of mrs SMR that morning.
                        Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est.

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                        • #72
                          Originally posted by Bo Diddley View Post
                          Holy smokes! Glad you're still with us.

                          For the life of me, I can't unpack your description unless the steering wheel is on the RH side of your car.
                          Corrected.
                          "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
                          - Goatnapper'96

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                          • #73
                            17 years old and stayed up all night trying to make up homework for the end of quarter. Dad had me take him to the airport at 5:30 next morning. On the way back fell asleep on freeway and drifted. I felt the wheels leaving the road and over-corrected at 65 mph. Rolled about 2-3 times down the median of the freeway and landed on the wheels. Very fortunate to have no injuries. I still cannot sleep in a car.

                            15 years old riding my bike to work on back country roads and ran a stop sign into a car going about 50. My head went through the front passenger window and my shoulder blade stopped me on the frame and then I was thrown back out of the car. Got 5 days in the hospital for that one.

                            In Bosnia on patrol and came upon a semi truck loaded with unauthorized weapons against the treaty. We pulled around him and my 50 cal gunner had him pull over. I don't think I was ever in danger during that experience but it was the closest I came to combat while in that particular combat zone.

                            My wife saw my Venmo to DrumNFeather for the NFL survivor game and then my winnings. Apparently that is gambling.
                            “Every player dreams of being a Yankee, and if they don’t it’s because they never got the chance.” Aroldis Chapman

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Copelius View Post
                              17 years old and stayed up all night trying to make up homework for the end of quarter. Dad had me take him to the airport at 5:30 next morning. On the way back fell asleep on freeway and drifted. I felt the wheels leaving the road and over-corrected at 65 mph. Rolled about 2-3 times down the median of the freeway and landed on the wheels. Very fortunate to have no injuries. I still cannot sleep in a car.

                              15 years old riding my bike to work on back country roads and ran a stop sign into a car going about 50. My head went through the front passenger window and my shoulder blade stopped me on the frame and then I was thrown back out of the car. Got 5 days in the hospital for that one.

                              In Bosnia on patrol and came upon a semi truck loaded with unauthorized weapons against the treaty. We pulled around him and my 50 cal gunner had him pull over. I don't think I was ever in danger during that experience but it was the closest I came to combat while in that particular combat zone.

                              My wife saw my Venmo to DrumNFeather for the NFL survivor game and then my winnings. Apparently that is gambling.
                              note to self: no car rides with copelius
                              Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Copelius View Post
                                17 years old and stayed up all night trying to make up homework for the end of quarter. Dad had me take him to the airport at 5:30 next morning. On the way back fell asleep on freeway and drifted. I felt the wheels leaving the road and over-corrected at 65 mph. Rolled about 2-3 times down the median of the freeway and landed on the wheels. Very fortunate to have no injuries. I still cannot sleep in a car.

                                15 years old riding my bike to work on back country roads and ran a stop sign into a car going about 50. My head went through the front passenger window and my shoulder blade stopped me on the frame and then I was thrown back out of the car. Got 5 days in the hospital for that one.

                                In Bosnia on patrol and came upon a semi truck loaded with unauthorized weapons against the treaty. We pulled around him and my 50 cal gunner had him pull over. I don't think I was ever in danger during that experience but it was the closest I came to combat while in that particular combat zone.

                                My wife saw my Venmo to DrumNFeather for the NFL survivor game and then my winnings. Apparently that is gambling.
                                I'm like LeBron James.
                                -mpfunk

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