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Thread: Resurrecting Tiger

  1. #1

    Default Resurrecting Tiger

    Yesterday I read this article that Art posted in the Tiger car crash thread. I really couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. I know- the millions, the women, the adoration- what's there to feel sorry about?

    Anyways, when I couldn't sleep last night I got to thinking about what a good PR guy might do to help revive Tiger's image. I am not a PR professional, but have worked in a similar field and have spent enough time around PR people to have a basic handle on their gig.

    My question, of course, assumes that he would like to change his image, and that he really would like to get some of those advertising gigs back that he lost, or get new ones. If he's happy with the way things have turned out, or relieved and really just wants to live out the secret life that he created, then there's not much point to it. Anyways, here's what I would advise to hopefully revive Tiger's image and get back his 87% approval ratings.

    1. Air all of the dirty laundry now. Public perception of you really isn't going to get much worse than it is now, with your approval ratings hanging around 33% and unfavorables as high as 57%, so it's time to capitalize on the moment and get any skeletons out there. Plus, this way you can own the conversation and be out in front of any other scandals.

    Are there still more women waiting to come forward? Stop paying them and let them do so. If there are any pictures of you naked or in compromising positions floating around out there, buy them up; or, if you don't want to pay the price, fess up to the pictures publicly.

    Was there illegal drug use, or alcoholism? Put that out there. In fact, if there are any pictures of you clearly just messed up from substances, leak them. This will play in nicely with step 2 of my plan.

    Do you have any illegitimate children? Own up to them and let the public know what you are doing to support them.

    The toughest problem at this stage is going to be if you used PEDs. Your athleticism is your current greatest asset and any confirmed PED use, or even fairly credible rumors will take down your current greatest selling point. Still, if there is PEDs it's not impossible to overcome, but you have to be upfront on it, you cannot afford anymore lies and if it comes out later, you'll have undone all of the work that we are embarking on; hopefully it's limited to a small time frame.

    After making sure all of your loose ends are all tied up and we have a straight story, you are going to hold a public press conference. In this press conference you are going to apologize for all of the pain you have caused, especially to your family. You will allude to "pressures" in your life that, while not wholly responsible for the actions you did, deeply affected how you acted. You will publicly offer to release any sponsors from contracts you have with them, if they so desire. This, of course, will be discussed with the sponsors beforehand and there will be great pains taken to make sure no one drops you after you have given this public consolation, instead that they later publicly reaffirm their support for you as a human being and the struggles you are currently going through. If you can work up any tears or overt shows of emotion, during the press conference is the time to do it. Yes, it would expose a weakness, but it would be a very human one, and would make you much more like your audience. These tears, however, must be clearly tears of contrition for pain caused, not for being caught. You will not be taking any questions at the conference, but at the end will announce...

    2. Your entrance into a rehabilitation facility of some sort. Sex rehab is a bit of a public joke, so if you have substance problems, it's better to go a drug abuse rehab place and get sex rehab help at the same time. Even if a sex rehab place is the best place for you, it still shows your desire to get help, and displaces some of the blame for your actions. You will be spending at least 120 days somewhere in the desert of Arizona or Utah. You won't be at a clinic in California or New York, or any place that has the slightest air of celebrity privilege. Anything under 100 days is just going to seem like you're not taking it seriously and just doing it as a stunt. 30 days in rehab is a joke.

    3. Your divorce will be taken care of while you are in the desert, handled as far away from a courtroom as possible. Double the promised prenup amount for Elin to contract never to tell her side publicly nor to give negative comments to the press about you or your relationship and to get favorable visitation rights.

    4. While you are in the desert, stories about the "pressure" are going to start coming out. There are two possible winners here. The classic route would be to paint a picture of an overbearing father and a missed childhood, a la Michael Jackson, minus his weirdness. If this is not true in the slightest, or you are unwilling to implicate your father in this way, then there is another surefire winner. Option two is to describe the pressures of being a person of mixed-race in a predominantly white man's game. The demand to act in a certain way or to pretend you were someone you really weren't just to be a part of a sport you loved, especially at such a young age, caused you to suppress so much and weighed heavily on you psychologically. You found an escape in your various escapades as an subconscious way to express your frustrations.

    Either way, this story will be told to a favorable and respected publication, Sports Illustrated probably being the best choice for the venue. The reporter will be set up with all of the right contacts to let them tell whatever story is determined. If you go with the daddy problems story, then the reporter will be put in touch with childhood golf trainers, grade school teachers, former neighbors, and, if you really want to make it personal, your mom. If you go with the black-man-in-a-white-man's-world story, the reporter will be put in touch with college teammates from Stanford, former caddies, contemporaneous golfers and various other insiders. Also, the mom would be a nice touch on this one too. A few pictures from your childhood will be used in the write up and will help flesh out Tiger as a person.

    5. A month before you are to leave rehab, a photographer will be allowed access to you at the facility. Pictures of you with a counselor, of you befriending others at the facility (their faces blurred, of course), and you on a treadmill or some other type of exercise equipment will be published in a favorable publication, possibly SI again, or maybe something like Time. There won't be any access for tabloid people or even anything slightly approaching this medium, like People. Details of what you have been doing there, how you are feeling, etc. will be released, but you will not be giving any direct quotes. You will show a contemplative face for the pic with the counselor, your winning smile for the picture of you bonding with group members, and your game face while on the treadmill.

    6. When you get out public statements will be released with quotes from you about how glad you were for the process, how much you are looking forward to spending quality time with your children, and how you look forward to getting back to work in a game that you love. Action shots of you playing on the ground with your kids will be released soon after. Your trademark smile will be included, of course. There will also be pictures of you jogging around your neighborhood. This will make you a part of your community and more like so many of your core audience out there.

    7. After being out for a month or so, you will announce your return to golf for the next major. Subsequent photos of you working on your golf swing will be released. Also, photos of you consulting with someone about your game.

    8. Get back to winning golf tournaments.

    9. In the off season, begin dating and have a few photos of you two snapped together. However, you will not be dating just anyone. No high society, South Beach beauties, models, actresses or any Hollywood types. Definitely no porn stars, dancers, strippers, or waitresses. Preferably a midwesterner or southern woman. She shouldn't be really famous, but she should still be respectable. Preferably she would be the daughter of someone well respected in business or a well regarded profession.

    10. Give your first interviews. Be candid, but don't go into depth about past problems. The focus will all be about the future and where you hope to take your life. Talk about your low moments and how you overcame them. Focus on how much you love your children and how better you feel to be able to leave that old life behind you. Do a television sit-down with some news-types, and allow ESPN to come out to the golf course with you. Be personable and keep smiling. Invite a well-respected journalist and photographer into your home for a couple of days. It will be sold as an intimate look into your life. This will be a tryout for the journalist who is to be a coauthor with you when you...

    11. Write a book about overcoming adversity and living a champion's life. It will not be a tell-all or a biography, but will still offer insight into Tiger as a person.

    12. Return to the course and keep winning. Pass Nicholas for the most majors won. Give a heartfelt news conference about your humility in being part of the greats of golf. Have your mom and kids appear with you at the conference.

    13. Start a charity foundation and raise money for some cause.

    14. Retire on top as one of the greatest ever in sports to work more closely with your foundation. Do some PSAs about your cause.

    15. Do speaking engagements for exorbitant fees whenever the mood strikes. You don't have to ever marry again if you don't want, but date well if you don't.

    And that concludes my plan for putting Tiger back on top and making him a beloved person again. I don't think we have any PR pros here on the board, but I know that there are several that are pretty savvy in that area.

    What would you do differently? Do you think it could work for Tiger? Do you ever see him getting back to where he was before?

  2. #2

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    I agree with the plan, but would add step 4a: Grow a goatee. This will symbolize the new, open-book Tiger, as opposed to the clean-cut Tiger who was only pretending to be squeaky clean. Also, it will take some focus off his receding hairline.
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Donuthole View Post
    I agree with the plan, but would add step 4a: Grow a goatee. This will symbolize the new, open-book Tiger, as opposed to the clean-cut Tiger who was only pretending to be squeaky clean. Also, it will take some focus off his receding hairline.
    Oooh, the goat angle. I like it. Not too threatening, but also not so straight arrow. There's a truthful edge to it.

    And as far as the receding hairline, never, never, never leave the house without a hat of some sort. You burst onto the scene with a full head of hair and people want to remember you like that. You haven't really aged too much in the face, so don't let your hairline give you away. I might suggest shaving it, but the bald-head/goat look is really only in with the convict set at the moment. No need to go there.

  4. #4
    Golf & Cubs Disrespecter beelzebabette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I.J. Reilly View Post
    And as far as the receding hairline, never, never, never leave the house without a hat of some sort. You burst onto the scene with a full head of hair and people want to remember you like that. You haven't really aged too much in the face, so don't let your hairline give you away. I might suggest shaving it, but the bald-head/goat look is really only in with the convict set at the moment. No need to go there.
    Signed,
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  5. #5
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    Have you been following the latest developments with Brit Hume, Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart? Tiger is a Buddhist, which does not believe in the same types of forgiveness and redemption as Christianity, so Brit Hume has been appearing in several media outlets, openly proselytizing for Tiger to convert.

  6. #6
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beelzebabette View Post
    Signed,
    Kenny Chesney
    Exactly! That dude wears a hat 95% of the time.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

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  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiyero View Post
    Have you been following the latest developments with Brit Hume, Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart? Tiger is a Buddhist, which does not believe in the same types of forgiveness and redemption as Christianity, so Brit Hume has been appearing in several media outlets, openly proselytizing for Tiger to convert.
    I actually saw something flash on the screen where the Buddha's face was melded with Brit Hume, but it was over lunch and I had no interest.

    I used to watch a lot of news, but I'm pretty busy now, and since heaven knows I can't cut out CUF, I've had to make strategic trims elsewhere. Maybe I'll check it out.

  8. #8

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    Here's a plan. Stop being a pussy. Don't quit golf just because you got caught cheating. I think the sponsorship deals dropped because he quit golf not because of his extracurricular activities. He's allowed himself to be publicly shamed. Tell the media he's made some judgment errors in the past in his personal life, he's going to forget it all, work on his game, and come out and rip up the course in 2010.

  9. #9

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    He should have taken a cue from David Letterman, who handled his scandal masterfully. He completely controlled the situation. Got it out early, beating would-be extorters to the punch. He turned himself into the victim. He was very open about what he did, without going into sordid details, and showed just the right amount of contrition. Then, most importantly, he got on with his life and his career. This hiding out in seclusion thing that Tiger is doing is killing his image. What he did was egregious, but he couldn't possibly have handled the damage control any more poorly.

  10. #10
    My Mic Sounds Nice falafel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Non Sequitur View Post
    He should have taken a cue from David Letterman, who handled his scandal masterfully. He completely controlled the situation. Got it out early, beating would-be extorters to the punch. He turned himself into the victim. He was very open about what he did, without going into sordid details, and showed just the right amount of contrition. Then, most importantly, he got on with his life and his career. This hiding out in seclusion thing that Tiger is doing is killing his image. What he did was egregious, but he couldn't possibly have handled the damage control any more poorly.
    .... Letterman wasn't exactly "out in front." He was being extorted, so he flipped the tables on the extorter. I'll bet that he would have kept it secret if he could have.

    Besides, how is Tiger possibly going to play the victim here? The only thing I can think of is to play up his sex addiction as a real problem that he struggles with, as opposed to him having an apparently unquenchable thirst for chicks with porn-star looks that will send him dirty sexts.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Non Sequitur View Post
    He should have taken a cue from David Letterman, who handled his scandal masterfully. He completely controlled the situation. Got it out early, beating would-be extorters to the punch. He turned himself into the victim. He was very open about what he did, without going into sordid details, and showed just the right amount of contrition. Then, most importantly, he got on with his life and his career. This hiding out in seclusion thing that Tiger is doing is killing his image. What he did was egregious, but he couldn't possibly have handled the damage control any more poorly.
    He makes millions or billions or whatever for being an alpha male. Society loves alpha males. Alpha males don't go cowering to the corner with their tales between their legs, especially for something as alpha male-ish as having sex with lots of women.

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by jay santos View Post
    Here's a plan. Stop being a pussy. Don't quit golf just because you got caught cheating. I think the sponsorship deals dropped because he quit golf not because of his extracurricular activities. He's allowed himself to be publicly shamed. Tell the media he's made some judgment errors in the past in his personal life, he's going to forget it all, work on his game, and come out and rip up the course in 2010.
    I think you are not correctly evaluating Tiger's appeal. His ability at golf is the building block of his appeal, but what he offered was beyond his sports greatness. There are plenty of good athletes, even great athletes who don't get a fraction of the sponsorships that he gets. Off the top of my head, Barry Bonds, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Brett Favre, Adrian Petersen, Tom Brady, Joe Mauer, Albert Pujols, Tim Lincecolm.

    All of those guys are great at what they do, some are among the greatest of their generation, even all-time greats in many different categories. However, none of them have the "it" factor, that perfect mix of ability in their chosen field, personability, relatability, looks, and image. Tiger did. The image Tiger and his people built has been tarnished, but not irreparably.

    Stepping away from the game wasn't where his error was. The major factor is what he does with his "time off". If he's going to be a recluse then he can expect to never reach the heights he had before. He might still be a great golfer, but never again will he even sniff 100 mil a year. However, if handled correctly, he could get back up there and even pass that mark. It's all in dealing with the aftermath. He has let the story dictate his actions and has been trailing this thing from the beginning.

    As NS suggested, Letterman is a good place to look for some parallels. Letterman, however, also had some rather significant differences. Letterman's image is vastly different than that of Tiger's. His audience may have some overlap, but they look to Letterman for far different things than Tiger. However, getting out in front of the scandal is the only appropriate way to handle these things. Hiding is not the right move, as you know.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by falafel View Post
    .... Letterman wasn't exactly "out in front." He was being extorted, so he flipped the tables on the extorter. I'll bet that he would have kept it secret if he could have.

    Besides, how is Tiger possibly going to play the victim here? The only thing I can think of is to play up his sex addiction as a real problem that he struggles with, as opposed to him having an apparently unquenchable thirst for chicks with porn-star looks that will send him dirty sexts.
    These things never come out without an impetuous. I can't think of one famous person who has even come out of the blue and admitted to an affair, or any sort of impropriety. It's all about dealing with it after. Letterman's scandal hadn't hit the papers yet, but he knew it would because it was soon to become part of the public record. So he made his move first and used his platform and talents to contextualize the affairs how he wanted to.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by I.J. Reilly View Post
    I think you are not correctly evaluating Tiger's appeal. His ability at golf is the building block of his appeal, but what he offered was beyond his sports greatness. There are plenty of good athletes, even great athletes who don't get a fraction of the sponsorships that he gets. Off the top of my head, Barry Bonds, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Brett Favre, Adrian Petersen, Tom Brady, Joe Mauer, Albert Pujols, Tim Lincecolm.

    All of those guys are great at what they do, some are among the greatest of their generation, even all-time greats in many different categories. However, none of them have the "it" factor, that perfect mix of ability in their chosen field, personability, relatability, looks, and image. Tiger did. The image Tiger and his people built has been tarnished, but not irreparably.

    Stepping away from the game wasn't where his error was. The major factor is what he does with his "time off". If he's going to be a recluse then he can expect to never reach the heights he had before. He might still be a great golfer, but never again will he even sniff 100 mil a year. However, if handled correctly, he could get back up there and even pass that mark. It's all in dealing with the aftermath. He has let the story dictate his actions and has been trailing this thing from the beginning.

    As NS suggested, Letterman is a good place to look for some parallels. Letterman, however, also had some rather significant differences. Letterman's image is vastly different than that of Tiger's. His audience may have some overlap, but they look to Letterman for far different things than Tiger. However, getting out in front of the scandal is the only appropriate way to handle these things. Hiding is not the right move, as you know.
    I'm looking at Tiger as an icon not so much a corporate machine. His personal worth should be at least a couple hundred mill. I'd like to see him do his own thing and make $30M a year than try to kiss ass to the man and get back to $100M.

  15. #15

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    http://www.radaronline.com/exclusive...-tell-all-book
    EXCLUSIVE: Tiger Woods Mistress Will Claim He Had Gay Romps In Tell-All Book

    One of Tiger's many mistresses, Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, is penning a tell-all book about the golf ace and claims that she witnessed him in gay encounters.

    RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that Loredana has claimed she saw Tiger having sexual relationships with other men. That shocking twist is something no other mistress has claimed and there has been no proof.

    But Loredana recently attempted to sell her story for $1 million and graphically described group sex that included incidents of Tiger with other men, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

    Loredana says she is planning to spill all about how she and Tiger "came about, his healthy appetite for arranged sex, threesomes, girls next door, girl-girl, and an answer to all the rumors surrounding Woods' sexuality."

    That hint about Tiger's sexuality is the key to Loredana's hopes for making a seven-figure deal, no matter how unlikely that seems.

    Loredana, a gorgeous blonde from Sicily, has told people she was one of Tiger's favorite mistresses.

    One of her representatives told RadarOnline.com: "She is in talks with a number of publishing companies regarding a tell-all book deal."

    Loredana has kept a low public profile since being named as a Tiger mistress and lately has been spotted at an upscale Florida country club on the golf course, taking golf lessons.

  16. #16
    Senior Member byu71's Avatar
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    Wow, if this is true, then he would really have broken two major barriers.

    The first black man to win at the masters and the first lesbian to win at the masters.

    Augusta National's bigoty against blacks and women will have been shattered completely.

  17. #17

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    This is what I'm talking about. He can't let this stuff keep leaking out over time. He needs to get out in front of whatever is coming and get the public on his side. Right now, the mind of the people is to accept whatever comes out about him. His lying and hiding have put him in this position. If he would just come out, hold a news conference, say something like, "I'm a sex addict and that has put me in many compromising positions, places I shouldn't have been at, doing things that were not in line with how I believe I should live my life," or whatever, then he would be able to head this stuff off at the pass and control the conversation. Additionally, the public would again be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

    This is the biggest mishandling of a major celebrity's PR that I think I have ever personally witnessed. As it stands, he is left to reacting (or doing nothing, in his case, which may be worse)to whatever comes out about him.

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    Known Heterosexual RC Vikings's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottie View Post
    [url]http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/01/exclusive-tiger-woods-mistress-will-claim-he-had-gay-romps-tell-all-book
    I think golfers can overlook him having extra marrital sex with many different woman but one gay relationship and he will be ruined.

  19. #19
    Friend of Rodin TheBYUGuy's Avatar
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    You'd be gay, too, if you caught a glimpse of Phil Mickelson's moobs that one time in the clubhouse locker room.

  20. #20

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    Can the National Enquirer be trusted for its information? ...
    Tiger Woods has been betrayed by his best pal Michael Jordan - and will be furious when he finds out what's been going on behind his back!

    Sources tell The ENQUIRER that the basketball great has always respected and cared for Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren, and it's killing him to see her in so much pain.

    He's offered to help her in any way he can.

    Accordingly, Elin's pals are pushing her to have Michael tell her everything he knows about Tiger's cheating.

    The King of Swing's picture-perfect family life has imploded since The ENQUIRER ripped the lid off his affair with New York party girl Rachel Uchitel, unleashing a tidal wave of other Tiger mistresses stepping forward.

    And with the Woods-Nordegren marriage shattered, Jordan - no stranger to extramarital flings himself - got word to 30-year-old Elin that he's there if she needs him, insiders say.

    "Right after Tiger crashed his car, Michael reached out to Elin, offering her a shoulder to cry on," an insider divulged.
    http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/67961


  21. #21
    Where's Wallace? Surfah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottie View Post
    Can the National Enquirer be trusted for its information? ...


    http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/67961

    I wouldn't doubt it much. Jordan is a sleazeball. His own escapades certainly rival Tigers if not trumps them.
    "Nobody listens to Turtle."
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  22. #22

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    Bump. Looks like IJR's plan is in full swing up through steps 7, with slight variation. The fact that Tiger is presently rocking some facial hair reminded me of this thread.
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  23. #23

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    Tiger drops Steve Williams as his caddie.

    http://espn.go.com/golf/story/_/id/6...illiams-caddie
    *Banned*

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by cougjunkie View Post
    Tiger drops Steve Williams as his caddie.

    http://espn.go.com/golf/story/_/id/6...illiams-caddie
    That's pretty strange. I felt like there was some tension building when Williams made some comments about Mickelson, but there must have been A LOT of tension.

    I don't think Tiger is going to be able to surpass Niklaus anymore. His lower body is disintegrating, I'm sure his personal life is in shambles (still), and he is still changing his swing/swing coach on a fairly regular basis.

    My uncle was a vice principal at Woods' high school and claims that Tiger was the most well-rounded student he had ever worked with. Pretty crazy what a shitload of money and fame can do to a kid.
    Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

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  25. #25

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    Tiger lost his alpha-ness when he apologized for the sex and let himself by publicly shamed. He won't get on top of golf again until he tells everyone to f*** themselves and can walk with his head up.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by jay santos View Post
    Tiger lost his alpha-ness when he apologized for the sex and let himself by publicly shamed. He won't get on top of golf again until he tells everyone to f*** themselves and can walk with his head up.
    I think there is some truth to this.
    "Nobody listens to Turtle."
    -Turtle

  27. #27

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    I seem to remember some stories that came out that showed that Williams was an enabler to Tiger's unfaithfulness. It seems like a good idea to break ties with the enablers, even, maybe especially, if the enabler is a good friend.

  28. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob View Post
    I seem to remember some stories that came out that showed that Williams was an enabler to Tiger's unfaithfulness. It seems like a good idea to break ties with the enablers, even, maybe especially, if the enabler is a good friend.
    It is if your goal is a temple recommend.

    It's not if your goal is to dominate the world in golf.

  29. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by jay santos View Post
    It is if your goal is a temple recommend.

    It's not if your goal is to dominate the world in golf.
    If your goal is to redeem yourself as a human being or simply overcome your problem or "addiction."

  30. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob View Post
    If your goal is to redeem yourself as a human being or simply overcome your problem or "addiction."
    I'd rather dominate the world in golf.

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