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Thread: Hi, my name is Eddie Jones

  1. #1
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Default Hi, my name is Eddie Jones

    How did you find CUF?
    I saw the ad while reading an article on O magazine.

    What do you like about CUF?
    PortlandUte posts here and Iím a sucker for unintentional comedy

    What don't I like about CUF?
    I donít know. Iíve only checked it out for a couple days. Maybe I donít like the abbreviation CUF. Sounds kind of vulgar in a backwards sort of way and Iím not a big fan of vulgarity.

    How did you choose your moniker?
    Favorite basketball player during the late 90s early 00s. Itís a different moniker from CB.

    What do you do (other than read CUF)?
    I work and raise kids and attend church and church activities. When I get time I like to barbecue, like real barbecue, like smoking briskets and pork butt for hours upon hours. Oh, and I make the best burgers in town.

    How many States have you lived in?
    Three or four depends on how you count it. Utah, Iowa/Illinois, Texas.

    What are your sports loyalties?
    BYU, I attend any game within a days driving distance.

    What's your standing in the church?
    I do my home teaching and actual volunteer for service opportunities (infer whatever you want from that).

    Do you pee in the sink?
    Iím not tall enough to accomplish this feat. Does the person who wrote these questions live in a midget house?

    When your kids get older, will you do drugs with them in order to teach them a responsible approach to drugs?
    Iím just trying to get them baptized first. Iíll worry about drugs later.

    Are you looking forward to Wuap's welcome question and what do you think it will be?
    Not as much as Iím looking forward to his response to my answer. Please please please can we be good friends?

    Why are you so creepy? How long have you been lurking?
    I get my creepiness from my mom. Iíve been lurking for a couple days. I spent time on CB but tend to get tired of the fanaticism of girls from Australia and I was looking for a more ďmatureĒ board where threads donít fall off the face of the earth after 5 minutes. Plus I heard PAC and DDD were here. DDD was my favorite posted on CB after Lakers wins (yes Iím a Laker fan if you didnít already get that from my moniker).

  2. #2
    Heartless Bastard Indy Coug's Avatar
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    A couple of comments/questions

    1. Peeing in the sink - it's all about trajectory

    2. Since you did a slash with Iowa/Illinois, I take it you lived in the Quad Cities area?

  3. #3
    Senior Member byu71's Avatar
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    Welcome. I am glad you are here.

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  5. #5
    Where's Wallace? Surfah's Avatar
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    Welcome sir. So you know this is the prolific thread on CUF:

    Lakers
    "Nobody listens to Turtle."
    -Turtle

  6. #6
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surfah View Post
    Welcome sir. So you know this is the prolific thread on CUF:

    Lakers
    Wow, 69 pages of Laker love. I'm going to enjoy reading that. I think I just found a home.

  7. #7
    Trump-hating snowflake Jeff Lebowski's Avatar
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    This is not a good start, Eddie.

    I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but this is like moving to a new school and immediately sucking up to the troublemakers and juvenile delinquents.
    "Socialism is not bad IMHO" - byu71
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.

  8. #8
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indy Coug View Post
    A couple of comments/questions

    1. Peeing in the sink - it's all about trajectory

    2. Since you did a slash with Iowa/Illinois, I take it you lived in the Quad Cities area?
    Lived in Bettendorf, worked in East Moline. Not my favorite place in the world but good people live there. My favorite part of my time there (other than winning free Fazolis spaghetti at a Steamwheelers game - minor league arena football) was that the bishop would always wear a light blue shirt.

  9. #9
    Board Bookworm happyone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie Jones View Post
    Wow, 69 pages of Laker love. I'm going to enjoy reading that. I think I just found a home.
    Welcome, but I'm really worried about your judgement

    I may be small, but I'm slow.

    A veteran - whether active duty, retired, or national guard or reserve is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to, "The United States of America ", for an amount of "up to and including my life - it's an honor."

  10. #10
    Friend of Rodin TheBYUGuy's Avatar
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    Welcome, and thank you for using the pellegrino-approved, TheBYUGuy-adapted template for your intro.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBYUGuy View Post
    Welcome, and thank you for using the pellegrino-approved, TheBYUGuy-adapted template for your intro.
    regardless of who adapts it, it all started with pellegrino, the inventor of the pellegrino-approved introduction template.

    Welcome Eddie, I am pleased you chose the pellegrino-approved template to introduce yourself.
    Dio perdona tante cose per uníopera di misericordia
    God forgives many things for an act of mercy
    Alessandro Manzoni

    Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

    pelagius

  12. #12
    Board Bookworm happyone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pellegrino View Post
    regardless of who adapts it, it all started with pellegrino, the inventor of the pellegrino-approved introduction template.

    Welcome Eddie, I am pleased you chose the pellegrino-approved template to introduce yourself.
    Since I introduced myself bpat, should I go back and use it?

    I may be small, but I'm slow.

    A veteran - whether active duty, retired, or national guard or reserve is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to, "The United States of America ", for an amount of "up to and including my life - it's an honor."

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by happyone View Post
    Since I introduced myself bpat, should I go back and use it?
    We all have our moral agency, who am I to tell you how to use it?
    Dio perdona tante cose per uníopera di misericordia
    God forgives many things for an act of mercy
    Alessandro Manzoni

    Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

    pelagius

  14. #14
    Semper infra dignitatem PaloAltoCougar's Avatar
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    Welcome, Eddie, and I'm pleased you were looking for me. I only hope you are not one of my many creditors.

    And admiring DDD for his Laker love is like admiring BYU71 because he reeks of BenGay. These are not their greatest attributes by any means, but we love them for other reasons.

  15. #15
    sweet triple TripletDaddy's Avatar
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    Eddie Jones........welcome.

    Now go and get Nick Van Exel to partake......
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.


  16. #16
    Faith crisis consultant SeattleUte's Avatar
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    I never knew Jefe could be so charming.
    When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

    --Jonathan Swift

  17. #17
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie Jones View Post
    [B]
    Are you looking forward to Wuap's welcome question and what do you think it will be?
    Not as much as Iím looking forward to his response to my answer. Please please please can we be good friends?
    It'll be easier if you don't try and subvert my paradigm, newbie.


    In all seriousness, I'll try and do the question sometime this weekend. I'm a busy boy today, and I can't dedicate enough time to it to do it the right way.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  18. #18
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    I never understood why the Lakers traded you and kept that HS guy. Good luck to them with that.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

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    Ragnar Lodbrok Descendant SoCalCoug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    Eddie Jones........welcome.

    Now go and get Nick Van Exel to partake......
    Haven't you ever looked at him? I have no doubt he partakes.



    Edit: Just to assuage the calls of racist, I'm referring to his eyes, and nothing else.
    If we disagree on something, it's because you're wrong.

    "Somebody needs to kill my trial attorney." ó Last words of George Harris, executed in Missouri on Sept. 13, 2000.

    "Nothing is too good to be true, nothing is too good to last, nothing is too wonderful to happen." - Florence Scoville Shinn

  20. #20
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoCalCoug View Post
    Haven't you ever looked at him? I have no doubt he partakes.



    Edit: Just to assuage the calls of racist, I'm referring to his eyes, and nothing else.
    The only jersey that I have ever worn was a yellow #9 Nick Van Excellent jersey. I loved that guy.
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  21. #21
    Suomalainen New Mexican Disaster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    The only jersey that I have ever worn was a yellow #9 Nick Van Excellent jersey. I loved that guy.
    Me too. Favorite Laker of all time.

  22. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie Jones View Post
    What don't I like about CUF?
    I donít know. Iíve only checked it out for a couple days. Maybe I donít like the abbreviation CUF. Sounds kind of vulgar in a backwards sort of way and Iím not a big fan of vulgarity.
    You'll be happy to know that there is a steadily-growing contingent on this site who prefers it be called CWUF. You are more than welcome to join.

    Regardless, welcome to CWUF.
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark ďegg on your faceĒ! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  23. #23
    Time to camp HuskyFreeNorthwest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donuthole View Post
    You'll be happy to know that there is a steadily-growing contingent on this site who prefers it be called CWUF. You are more than welcome to join.

    Regardless, welcome to CWUF.
    What does the W stand for?
    Get confident, stupid
    -landpoke

  24. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
    What does the W stand for?
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark ďegg on your faceĒ! -- Moss

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

  25. #25
    Not Banned Tim's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, Eddie Jones. That's the guy that handles my investments. Nice guy.
    Visca Catalunya Lliure

  26. #26
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Moliere, please answer the following question, but consider your answer carefully because I know what it takes to make a pro blush.

    It was unseasonably cold in Hartsville this morning, and we had to be at the soccer fields by 8:30AM EDT for photographs. Apparently, the fire department was busy this morning because we heard sirens constantly in the distance. With a steady 20 mph wind, gusting to 30, and a temperature of 52F and high humidity, it was terribly cold out in the open. I worked a crossword puzzle in the drivers seat with clues like "Trojans' school" while my children spent the next hour, endlessly entering and exiting & opening and closing all of the doors (and the tailgate) of our Honda Odyssey until I shouted, "OUR CAR ISN'T A FRENCH FARCE. IN OR OUT." In N' Out Burger is famous for decent burgers and fries, and if you look closely on their packaging, Bible verses like Revelation 3:20, "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me" help spread the Gospel like "spread" on a burger, choosing philanthropy over misanthropy. In the South, many young men greet each other with "sup?" while in math, the supremum, or sup, of a subset S of a totally or partially ordered set T is the least element of T that is greater than or equal to all elements of S. If the supremum exists, it is unique, meaning that there will be only one supremum, much like what will happen once Diana Ross or Mary Wilson die. Death often leaves survivors the task of mourning the loss of a loved one, and oftentimes people need to speak to a therapist, like fictional psychiatrist Frasier Crane, to help them understand how and why they felt what they feel. Frasier had a French-farce inspired scene in almost every episode. Moliere, undisputed king of the French farce, makes an appearance in Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres's 1827 painting The Apotheosis of Homer along with Cervantes, Shakespeare, Menander, Pericles, Seneca and an embodiment of The Odyssey. Some suggest that the blind Homer didn't exist, an imaginary invalid, as it were, not entirely unlike the manatees-cum-mermaids of yesteryear. Hartsville is home to Seneca brand cigarettes and a ball-bearing factory specializing in intricate brass valves that must be cast in specially made dies. When Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, he famously quoted Menander's aorist imperative, "Let the die be cast" bringing his Praetorian Guard into Rome, essentially ending the SPQR. Like Caesar and Pericles, daring men have changed the fate of the world, but we often due stupid things in the name of curiosity and lust. So, the question remains, would you have put beeswax in your ears? Why or why not?
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  27. #27
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    Moliere, please answer the following question, but consider your answer carefully because I know what it takes to make a pro blush.

    It was unseasonably cold in Hartsville this morning, and we had to be at the soccer fields by 8:30AM EDT for photographs. Apparently, the fire department was busy this morning because we heard sirens constantly in the distance. With a steady 20 mph wind, gusting to 30, and a temperature of 52F and high humidity, it was terribly cold out in the open. I worked a crossword puzzle in the drivers seat with clues like "Trojans' school" while my children spent the next hour, endlessly entering and exiting & opening and closing all of the doors (and the tailgate) of our Honda Odyssey until I shouted, "OUR CAR ISN'T A FRENCH FARCE. IN OR OUT." In N' Out Burger is famous for decent burgers and fries, and if you look closely on their packaging, Bible verses like Revelation 3:20, "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me" help spread the Gospel like "spread" on a burger, choosing philanthropy over misanthropy. In the South, many young men greet each other with "sup?" while in math, the supremum, or sup, of a subset S of a totally or partially ordered set T is the least element of T that is greater than or equal to all elements of S. If the supremum exists, it is unique, meaning that there will be only one supremum, much like what will happen once Diana Ross or Mary Wilson die. Death often leaves survivors the task of mourning the loss of a loved one, and oftentimes people need to speak to a therapist, like fictional psychiatrist Frasier Crane, to help them understand how and why they felt what they feel. Frasier had a French-farce inspired scene in almost every episode. Moliere, undisputed king of the French farce, makes an appearance in Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres's 1827 painting The Apotheosis of Homer along with Cervantes, Shakespeare, Menander, Pericles, Seneca and an embodiment of The Odyssey. Some suggest that the blind Homer didn't exist, an imaginary invalid, as it were, not entirely unlike the manatees-cum-mermaids of yesteryear. Hartsville is home to Seneca brand cigarettes and a ball-bearing factory specializing in intricate brass valves that must be cast in specially made dies. When Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, he famously quoted Menander's aorist imperative, "Let the die be cast" bringing his Praetorian Guard into Rome, essentially ending the SPQR. Like Caesar and Pericles, daring men have changed the fate of the world, but we often due stupid things in the name of curiosity and lust. So, the question remains, would you have put beeswax in your ears? Why or why not?
    OMG! A wuap question! I'm almost afraid to answer.

    I'd say, yes I'd have put beeswax in my ears if only to drown out the snoring of all the other scout leaders.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, ďspectator discipleshipĒ is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  28. #28
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    OMG! A wuap question! I'm almost afraid to answer.

    I'd say, yes I'd have put beeswax in my ears if only to drown out the snoring of all the other scout leaders.
    We shall continue to be great friends if you can find all of the literary references in your question.
    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

  29. #29
    One man.....one pie Moliere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wuapinmon View Post
    We shall continue to be great friends if you can find all of the literary references in your question.
    No thanks. But I will point out the fletch reference:

    ball-bearing factory
    I'll also point out that Moliere was the Seinfeld of his day.
    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, ďspectator discipleshipĒ is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

  30. #30
    Soul Plumber wuapinmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moliere View Post
    No thanks.
    I spent an hour writing that damned question.

    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

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