How big is your Christmas in regards to your kids?

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I am currently in a disagreement with my wife over how large Christmas should be. I am hoping to get smaller, and she is hoping to expand. At this point we already have an overflowing toy room and I would like to see them learn some value from gifts rather than just tearing into the next present.

Am I being Christmas downer?

[RobinFinderson]

At this point we only buy video games as gifts, because they hardly take up any space. The overflowing toy room (most of it crap that little finderson has not touched in years) is a reminder that even the coolest new toy is just going to turn into more crap on his floor in a couple of months. I have even gone so far as to tell the boy that I'm not going to buy him any more video games until he finishes Grand Theft Auto IV. What are we teaching the kids these days if we don't expect them to finish what they started?

[Donuthole]

I am currently in a disagreement with my wife over how large Christmas should be. I am hoping to get smaller, and she is hoping to expand. At this point we already have an overflowing toy room and I would like to see them learn some value from gifts rather than just tearing into the next present.

Am I being Christmas downer?

I am definitely with you on this one. I grew up with fairly meager Christmases (One bigger item (maybe $50), a couple stocking stuffers, and a few presents of necessity (clothes, etc.)), yet I still look back on Christmas very fondly.

My wife's mother goes WAAAAY overboard on Christmas (last year we all got 18 presents each) and it king of irks me, simply because I feel like the family moments gets overshadowed by all the present opening.

[Babs]

Your kids are pretty young, right?

My advice, keep it small as long as you can. Younger kids have fewer externally-imposed preconceptions about what Christmas is supposed to be. You can still create the expectations for them, and they're thrilled with a few forty dollar toys. But the kids grow up so fast, and their expectations along with them.

I consider our Christmases at the Gordon household to be pretty conservative compared to the average family's, but even so we're at full-fledged extravagance compared to what either Flash or I would have experienced growing up. American Christmas has gotten so out of hand, it seems.

[SteelBlue]

I think it's a great year/economy for all of us to step back and assess what Christmas has become. We are scaling back, and hopefully will do a better job of it next year. That NYT article that Babs linked a few weeks ago really struck a chord with me. When little Susie not getting everything she asked for is considered a tragedy, something has gone awry.

[TripletDaddy]

I think it's a great year/economy for all of us to step back and assess what Christmas has become. We are scaling back, and hopefully will do a better job of it next year. That NYT article that Babs linked a few weeks ago really struck a chord with me. When little Susie not getting everything she asked for is considered a tragedy, something has gone awry.

My wife and I had a bit of a spirited discussion last night.

I have never cared much about presents. I think I have posted before that i find the obligation to buy presents coupled with the expectation to receive them to be annoying. That being said, I buy presents, enjoy watching people open them, etc. I fully participate in the holidays and have a great time.

However, if I were to receive zero presents at Christmas, I wouldn't care at all. I enjoy eating meals and hanging out with my fmaily, not checking my blackberry very much and just having a relaxing good time. I enjoy the Christmas program at the Stake Center. I enjoy going to see Christmas lights. I enjoy putting up our tree.

I was lucky enough to have nice Christmas gifts as a kid. I didnt receive a car when I turned 16 or anything, but if I asked for a Coleco Head-to-Head football game, I could likely count on getting it. we had an atari 2600. We had an intellivision. I had a skateboard when I got older. When i went on my mission to Bolivia, my attitude changed. I lost all interest in "stuff" for Christmas. Keep in mind that I am not patting myself on the back. Much of my disinterest in 'stuff" at Christmas is simply pragmatic. If I want a book, I will just go get it and read it. Why ask my wife to buy it for me and then wait until Dec 25 to open it and read it?

My wife, otoh, really gets into the presents. She is the one that calls everyone and organizes the choosing of names, gift exchanges, etc. Personally, it kind of gets on my nerves, but I humor her because she loves doing it. A few years ago, i got into it a bit with my MIL because I said that if we didn't open a single present on Christmas, we could still have a great Christmas. This concept was completely alien to my in-laws. The thought of little to no presents would be a major downer for them. When we have spent Christmas day with them, the morning is an orgy of present opening (no sex, unfortunately)....people tearing open their presents, thank yous and hugs flying everywhere, and then once everyone has a pile of stuff, everyone heads off to enjoy their haul and the rest of the day is spent on that. I wind up shooting baskets outside or hopping back on the computer.

I do believe Christmas, on one level, has ceased to be a Christian holiday....even amongst our LDS ranks. Christmas is about shopping, buying presents, spending money, expecting presents, making lists of things we want, looking for discounted merchandise, etc.

There is definitely a warmer side to Christmas that involves singing songs, hanging with fam, doing Sub for Santa, etc...that is the stuff I enjoy the most.

I hope our kids don't turn into grubby little hellions. This year, we have kept things toned down. They are still young, so they don't know what a "good" gift haul is or what a "bad" gift haul is. Given the state of the economy/job security for some, it would seem that blowing the doors off for Christmas may be a bit inappropriate. But to each his own.

[cougarobgon]

I am currently in a disagreement with my wife over how large Christmas should be. I am hoping to get smaller, and she is hoping to expand. At this point we already have an overflowing toy room and I would like to see them learn some value from gifts rather than just tearing into the next present.

Am I being Christmas downer?

We limit Christmas to one present from Mom and Dad, one present from Santa, and then the kids draw names and give each other a gift. We do this out of practical reasons since we have 10 children. But, even when we only had one child, we did the same. The kids still do well by receiving gifts from grandpa and grandma and even aunts and uncles.

What I have learned in particular with younger kids, is that we don't have to go out looking for the coolest toy or try to keep up with the neighbors, most of that becomes junk in a very short while. Just last night my 6 y/o and I were tossing around an old tattered $5 football we gave him for Christmas when he was 3 years old. He has enjoyed that football more than anything else we have given him the last three years.

[SteelBlue]

My wife and I had a bit of a spirited discussion last night.

I have never cared much about presents. I think I have posted before that i find the obligation to buy presents coupled with the expectation to receive them to be annoying. That being said, I buy presents, enjoy watching people open them, etc. I fully participate in the holidays and have a great time.

However, if I were to receive zero presents at Christmas, I wouldn't care at all. I enjoy eating meals and hanging out with my fmaily, not checking my blackberry very much and just having a relaxing good time. I enjoy the Christmas program at the Stake Center. I enjoy going to see Christmas lights. I enjoy putting up our tree.

I was lucky enough to have nice Christmas gifts as a kid. I didnt receive a car when I turned 16 or anything, but if I asked for a Coleco Head-to-Head football game, I could likely count on getting it. we had an atari 2600. We had an intellivision. I had a skateboard when I got older. When i went on my mission to Bolivia, my attitude changed. I lost all interest in "stuff" for Christmas. Keep in mind that I am not patting myself on the back. Much of my disinterest in 'stuff" at Christmas is simply pragmatic. If I want a book, I will just go get it and read it. Why ask my wife to buy it for me and then wait until Dec 25 to open it and read it?

My wife, otoh, really gets into the presents. She is the one that calls everyone and organizes the choosing of names, gift exchanges, etc. Personally, it kind of gets on my nerves, but I humor her because she loves doing it. A few years ago, i got into it a bit with my MIL because I said that if we didn't open a single present on Christmas, we could still have a great Christmas. This concept was completely alien to my in-laws. The thought of little to no presents would be a major downer for them. When we have spent Christmas day with them, the morning is an orgy of present opening (no sex, unfortunately)....people tearing open their presents, thank yous and hugs flying everywhere, and then once everyone has a pile of stuff, everyone heads off to enjoy their haul and the rest of the day is spent on that. I wind up shooting baskets outside or hopping back on the computer.

I do believe Christmas, on one level, has ceased to be a Christian holiday....even amongst our LDS ranks. Christmas is about shopping, buying presents, spending money, expecting presents, making lists of things we want, looking for discounted merchandise, etc.

There is definitely a warmer side to Christmas that involves singing songs, hanging with fam, doing Sub for Santa, etc...that is the stuff I enjoy the most.

I hope our kids don't turn into grubby little hellions. This year, we have kept things toned down. They are still young, so they don't know what a "good" gift haul is or what a "bad" gift haul is. Given the state of the economy/job security for some, it would seem that blowing the doors off for Christmas may be a bit inappropriate. But to each his own.

Nice post. I think much like you do on this subject. The difficulty for me is that I know I was an adult before I appreciated what you're saying. I want my children to have a great Christmas and I know that in their eyes this means some good gifts. It's a delicate balance, especially as they get older. That's why I think the economy, though it's not really affecting our family adversely yet, provides a good reality check this year. The kids seem to know that times are tough for a lot of people.

[MarkGrace]

I could give a shit about receiving presents. I am, however, very excited about the presents I got for my Dad (Arrested Development) and my little brother (Hail to the Thief t-shirt). I think they are going to love them. And of course I will keep with my annual tradition of burning my Dad copies of my favorite albums from the year. (Yes, I know it's illegal, but I'm broke.)

I do feel bad for my wife as we're going on four years running of me not being able to get her a gift worth a damn. But after the pair of Manolo Blahniks she purchased this summer without my knowledge I'm not sure she ever deserves a Christmas gift again.

[TripletDaddy]

The kids still do well by receiving gifts from grandpa and grandma and even aunts and uncles.

This is what I was talking about. The subtext here is that in order to do well at Christmas, there is a dollar threshold or total that must be reached. I am not blaming you. We all fall into that trap.

What I have learned in particular with younger kids, is that we don't have to go out looking for the coolest toy or try to keep up with the neighbors, most of that becomes junk in a very short while. Just last night my 6 y/o and I were tossing around an old tattered $5 football we gave him for Christmas when he was 3 years old. He has enjoyed that football more than anything else we have given him the last three years.

I am convinced that much of the stuff we buy our kids is simply an extension of what we wish we had growing up. Our kids have so many toys that my wife has to put them in buckets and rotate them in and out of the garage....toys from relatives, friends, us, the hospital, etc...yet what do they love to play with more than anything? Pots, pans, wooden spoons, the garden hose, etc..

[Babs]

My wife and I had a bit of a spirited discussion last night.

I have never cared much about presents. I think I have posted before that i find the obligation to buy presents coupled with the expectation to receive them to be annoying. That being said, I buy presents, enjoy watching people open them, etc. I fully participate in the holidays and have a great time.

However, if I were to receive zero presents at Christmas, I wouldn't care at all.

This is me. In fact, I think I would enjoy the holiday more if presents weren't involved...at least for the adults.

I do believe Christmas, on one level, has ceased to be a Christian holiday....even amongst our LDS ranks. Christmas is about shopping, buying presents, spending money, expecting presents, making lists of things we want, looking for discounted merchandise, etc.

Absolutely. The holiday is no longer a holy day, in the original sense. That's not to say it has no merits, but it's certainly not much of a Christian holiday, even among Christians.

For moms especially, it's so consuming with the shopping and the wrapping and the decorating and the baking and the family Christmas picture and writing that annual my-kids-are-smarter-than-yours Christmas letter. It's really hard to have any time to appreciate the holiday for what it is and what it represents. And lately I find myself so stressed from trying to get everything done that I'm treating my family worse instead of better than I would during the rest of the year. It's sad when a Christian holiday reduces us to that kind of behavior.

Last year I took the time to write down my own memories and reflections on Christmas, and that helped it seem less shallow and commercial for me.

[landpoke]

I am currently in a disagreement with my wife over how large Christmas should be. I am hoping to get smaller, and she is hoping to expand. At this point we already have an overflowing toy room and I would like to see them learn some value from gifts rather than just tearing into the next present.

Am I being Christmas downer?

You ought to do what the wife and I do to impress upon our children the true message of Christmas: Every year she cuts off her long lustrous hair to buy me a fob for my watch which is my prize possession. I, in turn, sell the watch to buy her tortoise shell combs for her beautiful hair.

Granted they're only two and seven and thus the message is pretty much lost on them, but I figure after 18 odd years of the same thing over and over again they'll get the message and be better adults for it.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I am famous for being a scrooge. The Christmas season is like water torture to me. The commercialism, the cheesiness, the shameless "newsletters", the plates of crappy candy and dry cookies, the bad music, etc. all drive me nuts.

We made a deal this year. Rather than doing gifts, we are all going on a trip. We will be spending Christmas day on the beach. I hope it becomes a tradition.

[TripletDaddy]

I am famous for being a scrooge. The Christmas season is like water torture to me. The commercialism, the cheesiness, the shameless "newsletters", the plates of crappy candy and dry cookies, the bad music, etc. all drive me nuts.

We made a deal this year. Rather than doing gifts, we are all going on a trip. We will be spending Christmas day on the beach. I hope it becomes a tradition.

Yuba Lake?

[Jeff Lebowski]

Yuba Lake?

Close. Kaanapali.