on weddings, shotgun

[Babs]

Alright. I'm curious y'all's opinion on this one.

My mom's invited to a huge formal wedding, right? It's a family from her church, and their daughter is getting married in four weeks. Everything's set, the invitations sent, the whole deal.

Except not.

The parents, last week, find out the bride is with child. She's four weeks along.

After recovering from their initial dismay, they cancel the church wedding, saying they no longer think a Christian ceremony is appropriate. They uninvite everyone, send back all the gifts, and have the couple married in an impromptu civil ceremony.

Maybe it's just me but this seems to be a little, shall we say, harsh. Setting aside for now the ramifications of the couple's fornication (I come from an upbringing where we like to use words like fornication to make these matters sound even more reprehensible and appalling), I find this decision very hard to justify.

The whole thing seems to me excessively neo-puritanical. Perhaps in addition to revoking the couple's wedding ceremony, we could brand the girl's wedding dress with a crimson A. Or better yet, we can go old-school and schedule a public stoning.

It just seems to me the couple must be suffering enough guilt and shame as it is. And here she's in the midst of her first pregnancy. She and the baby don't need anyone exacerbating her emotional upheaval. The girl would have only been eight weeks along at the time of the ceremony. They could have pulled off the original wedding with no one the wiser, and let the mathematically competent among the congregation figure things out on their own.

But no. They feel moved to go through all the trouble of canceling the whole shebang. How can this in any way contribute to anyone's physical, emotional, or spiritual well being?

What say you?

[Solon]

Alright. I'm curious y'all's opinion on this one.

My mom's invited to a huge formal wedding, right? It's a family from her church, and their daughter is getting married in four weeks. Everything's set, the invitations sent, the whole deal.

Except not.

The parents, last week, find out the bride is with child. She's four weeks along.

After recovering from their initial dismay, they cancel the church wedding, saying they no longer think a Christian ceremony is appropriate. They uninvite everyone, send back all the gifts, and have the couple married in an impromptu civil ceremony.

Maybe it's just me but this seems to be a little, shall we say, harsh. Setting aside for now the ramifications of the couple's fornication (I come from an upbringing where we like to use words like fornication to make these matters sound even more reprehensible and appalling), I find this decision very hard to justify.

The whole thing seems to me excessively neo-puritanical. Perhaps in addition to revoking the couple's wedding ceremony, we could brand the girl's wedding dress with a crimson A. Or better yet, we can go old-school and schedule a public stoning.

It just seems to me the couple must be suffering enough guilt and shame as it is. And here she's in the midst of her first pregnancy. She and the baby don't need anyone exacerbating her emotional upheaval. The girl would have only been eight weeks along at the time of the ceremony. They could have pulled off the original wedding with no one the wiser, and let the mathematically competent among the congregation figure things out on their own.

But no. They feel moved to go through all the trouble of canceling the whole shebang. How can this in any way contribute to anyone's physical, emotional, or spiritual well being?

What say you?

That's too bad. It sounds like Mom and Dad are making it more about themselves than the bride and groom. Those kids are too old to punish, and canceling the wedding and sending back all the gifts is a little like shutting the barn door after the cow's gotten out. They're still getting married. They still could probably use the gifts and other niceties to make their start - even more so if they have a chitlin coming in 36 weeks.

[TripletDaddy]

In a word, I think it is dumb.

It is always reassuring to hear that some Mormons arent the only insane zealouts out there.

What is the standard for marriage in your Church? You have to be a virgin? Or you can be sexually active, just not currently pregnant?

[Babs]

Or you can be sexually active, just not currently pregnant?

No way! Sex is bad. Very very bad. Intramarital sex is permitted, so long as no one gets too carried away and starts enjoying it.

[ERCougar]

Alright. I'm curious y'all's opinion on this one.

My mom's invited to a huge formal wedding, right? It's a family from her church, and their daughter is getting married in four weeks. Everything's set, the invitations sent, the whole deal.

Except not.

The parents, last week, find out the bride is with child. She's four weeks along.

After recovering from their initial dismay, they cancel the church wedding, saying they no longer think a Christian ceremony is appropriate. They uninvite everyone, send back all the gifts, and have the couple married in an impromptu civil ceremony.

Maybe it's just me but this seems to be a little, shall we say, harsh. Setting aside for now the ramifications of the couple's fornication (I come from an upbringing where we like to use words like fornication to make these matters sound even more reprehensible and appalling), I find this decision very hard to justify.

The whole thing seems to me excessively neo-puritanical. Perhaps in addition to revoking the couple's wedding ceremony, we could brand the girl's wedding dress with a crimson A. Or better yet, we can go old-school and schedule a public stoning.

It just seems to me the couple must be suffering enough guilt and shame as it is. And here she's in the midst of her first pregnancy. She and the baby don't need anyone exacerbating her emotional upheaval. The girl would have only been eight weeks along at the time of the ceremony. They could have pulled off the original wedding with no one the wiser, and let the mathematically competent among the congregation figure things out on their own.

But no. They feel moved to go through all the trouble of canceling the whole shebang. How can this in any way contribute to anyone's physical, emotional, or spiritual well being?

What say you?

That's just silly. Haven't they ever heard of repentance?

She just needs to discuss things with her (guitar-wielding) pastor and let him decide when she's forgiven. In the meantime, she can attend church, but not speak, pray, or participate. The pastor will tell her the other things that God requires. Depending on the preference of the pastor, the entire process may involve discussing things before a group of middle-aged to older men.

[Babs]

That's just silly. Haven't they ever heard of repentance?

She just needs to discuss things with her (guitar-wielding) pastor and let him decide when she's forgiven.

Nope. No guitars for the presbyterians. That's my church, not my parents', that has the drumset and fog machines.

[Jeff Lebowski]

That's a sad story.

You used to see that in our culture but it is quite rare anymore. In my experience anyway.

[landpoke]

Did the sinners at least get partial credit for not using birth control?

[TripletDaddy]

Nope. No guitars for the presbyterians. That's my church, not my parents', that has the drumset and fog machines.

Although I am somehwat partial to the LDS sect, a few things I would look for in a Church if I were lost and looking:

1. Does my Church encourage or permit the use of electric instruments? Guitar, bass, drums....espcially if they are the black hex pad drum kits from the 80s.
2. Does my Church have a balcony overlooking the main audience? Can anyone in the congregation sit in the balcony during services?
3. Am I allowed to sit in my seat and yell out loud, interrupting while someone else is speaking?
4. Is there a dove or a fish symbol anywhere on the outside of the building or prominently displayed inside?
5. Has my Church sent choral reps to sing with legitimate music acts such as U2?
6. Can I wear sweats, shorts, or t shirts to Church, so long as I am willing to sit in the back?

If I could answer yes to 4 or more of those questions, I would likely pop in and give that Church a looksie.

[Babs]

Although I am somehwat partial to the LDS sect, a few things I would look for in a Church if I were lost and looking:

1. Does my Church encourage or permit the use of electric instruments? Guitar, bass, drums....espcially if they are the black hex pad drum kits from the 80s.
2. Does my Church have a balcony overlooking the main audience? Can anyone in the congregation sit in the balcony during services?
3. Am I allowed to sit in my seat and yell out loud, interrupting while someone else is speaking?
4. Is there a dove or a fish symbol anywhere on the outside of the building or prominently displayed inside?
5. Has my Church sent choral reps to sing with legitimate music acts such as U2?
6. Can I wear sweats, shorts, or t shirts to Church, so long as I am willing to sit in the back?

If I could answer yes to 4 or more of those questions, I would likely pop in and give that Church a looksie.

Also check to see if the women are generally attractive and allowed to wear form-fitting cleavage-bearing dresses. Especially common in churches that attract the college crowd.

[Babs]

That's a sad story.

You used to see that in our culture but it is quite rare anymore. In my experience anyway.

Your church is different because of the top-down structure. There are established rules involved. What would happen if the family decided to be honest with the church before the wedding took place. The couple couldn't have the temple wedding, right?

[YOhio]

Also check to see if the women are generally attractive and allowed to wear form-fitting cleavage-bearing dresses. Especially common in churches that attract the college crowd.

Good tip. I'm sure he wouldn't have thought of that one himself.

[Babs]

Good tip. I'm sure he wouldn't have thought of that one himself.

Just trying to be helpful. He's welcome at my megachurch anytime. We're teaching on fasting right now. Supposed to be fasting for two weeks. During the holidays. Nothing like setting your congregation up for failure.

[YOhio]

Just trying to be helpful. He's welcome at my megachurch anytime.

Back off Gordon. He's ours.

[Babs]

Back off Gordon. He's ours.

And all this time you guys just thought I was here for the witty banter.

Watch and learn, AShaf.