Playing the last game: The psychology of an athlete's final performance

[oxcoug]

Watching Ashworth's TD in the first half made me think that he might be thinking "I just carried a football over the goal line for the last time in formal competition."

In the QB doc on ESPN Gruden and Young talk about how agonizing it is to go into your final performance knowing that's it (more Gruden than young).

My senior year in high school one of my closest friends (now an accomplished documentary maker in LA) was tasked with making our season highlight tape and did a great job. In it he captured a poignant shot (though we kind of thought it was funny at the time) of two of my buddies (all-conference linebacker and so-so starting WR respectively) locked in an embrace at midfield at the end of our last game at home, with the WR (who knew this was the end of his football days) openly weeping and saying over and over "I never wanna leave this field man! I never wanna leave!"

I made fun of him then. I look back at it now and feel a wincing bit of understanding. [Then I made fun of him some more because he did a porn film in his senior year at, you guessed it, SDSU. Hey he needed the money].

Of course I knew I was headed for big things as champion at the highest echelon of BYU intramurals (oh yeah - I both threw AND caught TDs in that competitive crucible) so I probably wasn't feeling the pain quite as much.

But in seriousness - for those of you that were serious high school and/or college athletes (as opposed to the half-assed variety like me) - what did it feel like?

[woot]

I still remember my last HS performance. State semi-finals against a team that blew us out earlier in the year, we were up by three with a couple minutes left. We got them into 3rd and medium in long field goal range, I put on my best move and got to the QB instantly. He ducked under me, but I brought him down for a short gain. I brushed his helmet in the process, and the blind ref got me for a facemask. They ended up ramming it down our throats and winning by 4.

Even now when I've moved on and it doesn't matter whatsoever, I still occasionally remember that play. The psychology of sports is really fascinating.

[oxcoug]

I still remember my last HS performance. State semi-finals against a team that blew us out earlier in the year, we were up by three with a couple minutes left. We got them into 3rd and medium in long field goal range, I put on my best move and got to the QB instantly. He ducked under me, but I brought him down for a short gain. I brushed his helmet in the process, and the blind ref got me for a facemask. They ended up ramming it down our throats and winning by 4.

Even now when I've moved on and it doesn't matter whatsoever, I still occasionally remember that play. The psychology of sports is really fascinating.

Yeah it is. My last chance to make a play was also in a playoff game. I was a slot guy (our stone age passing attack didn't use me that much, I caught 14 passes in my last year) our QB found me on a hot read when they were blitzing and I had three steps on the closest defender. The ball came hard tantalizingly close to where it grazed my finger tips. If I'd managed to pull it in I definitely house it - which would have only been the third score of my career, and therefore incredibly sweet in my last game.

Even though the pass really truly wasn't catchable it replayed a thousand times in my mind that if I'd got off the line a split second sooner or if I'd got my hands out a fraction of a second faster I could have caught it and had that last shot of high school glory and rocked the end zone with a cool hand Luke nod to Anna (I knew exactly where she was sitting).

Yeah my motivations weren't as football-pure as they should ahve been.

[woot]

Yeah it is. My last chance to make a play was also in a playoff game. I was a slot guy (our stone age passing attack didn't use me that much, I caught 14 passes in my last year) our QB found me on a hot read when they were blitzing and I had three steps on the closest defender. The ball came hard tantalizingly close to where it grazed my finger tips. If I'd managed to pull it in I definitely house it - which would have only been the third score of my career, and therefore incredibly sweet in my last game.

Even though the pass really truly wasn't catchable it replayed a thousand times in my mind that if I'd got off the line a split second sooner or if I'd got my hands out a fraction of a second faster I could have caught it and had that last shot of high school glory and rocked the end zone with a cool hand Luke nod to Anna (I knew exactly where she was sitting).

Yeah my motivations weren't as football-pure as they should ahve been.

Hah it's funny the things you remember. One of my strongest basketball memories is making a fastbreak layup seconds into a game after winning the tip. The crowd was still really amped from the intros and whatnot so they went nuts. I don't remember if we even won that game, but that was a strong moment.

[MarkGrace]

I can't even remember my last competitive game. I remember my last game in HS, but not my last game overall. In the first round of the HS state playoffs, we drew Kearns at our homefield. Jeremy Lambert was a Sr. at Kearns, and arguably the best pitcher in the state (talked to him a few years back and he made it as far as AAA). The winner of our game played Orem the very next day (who spent most of the year with the #1 ranking), so Kearns decided they were going to roll the dice with their #2, hoping that if they beat us they could pitch Lambert against Orem the next day.

We of course beat them 3-2, and I pitched a complete game . They brought Lambert in around the 5th or 6th, but it was too little, too late. You always lead off with your ace in single elimination -- I hope their coach learned his lesson! The next day we headed down to Orem, and got shellacked by Jimmy England (5A player of the year) and co. I remember sitting there after the game, and most of my teammates were crying. One of my best friends, who played SS, was our closer, starting RB and all around tough guy, was just sobbing, and I'll never forget that image since I didn't expect to see it. And, coincidentally, besides me he was the only other player that wasn't playing in his last baseball game.

I felt almost no emotion at the end of that game. I guess it was because I knew it wasn't my last game, and mostly I was just happy to have the day off of school.

I then played a year and a half at a JUCO, and the fall before I quit I was pitching set up so the last game I might have throw in doesn't stick out. Plus, I didn't actually know I was going to quit. After the fall season, we were doing winter workouts, and after a bullpen session with our pitching coach, I walked straight into our head coaches office, told him I needed to tell him something, and when he asked what I just started crying. I eventually told him I was quitting and going on a mission. He told me I could come back and finish my eligibility after my mission, but I guess I just knew it was the end, when just a couple months before I was intent on just playing baseball the rest of my life.

When I got back from my mission, a bunch of guys I knew were playing on the Weber St. club team (which was actually a pretty good team). Every time I ran into them on campus, they'd always ask me to start playing, but I don't know, just wasn't feeling it. I knew I wanted to go to law school and was pretty serious about school, and felt that I just didn't have time to play baseball on top of it.

After I'd been home for a couple years, I went out an played with them for a one game in their summer league against Utah St. I played first base for most of the game, went 3/4 with 3 rbi's, and struck out 5 in the two innings I pitched. That was the last time I ever played organized baseball, but it wasn't the same as a real competitive type setting -- I was just out there having some fun.

[statman]

the only thing I remember about my last game in HS was the one and only pass that was ever thrown to me in organized football.

I played OL - mostly center, but I started at least one game at each OL position - including a game at TE. Lots of injuries on the team that year, my backup was a really good, really big sophomore, and I was the only guy who knew what each OL was supposed to do on every play.

I was also the deep snapper & short snapper - and we ran the 'swinging gate' on all our PATs. Our last game, we were down by 14 in the 4th. We scored to go down by 8, lined up in the swinging gate and their D didn't adjust properly to it. Automatic default to go for two. The holder - our backup QB - got the ball and rolled out to his right. I was an eligible snapper on the play and rolled to the right corner of the endzone, where the ball was on its way - about 5 feet over my head...

And we lost by one to a team that was supposed to destroy us. We ended up 5-5 that year. If only that stupid little jackwagon could throw while he was running. Even a tie would have given us a winning record...

[oxcoug]

I can't even remember my last competitive game. I remember my last game in HS, but not my last game overall. In the first round of the HS state playoffs, we drew Kearns at our homefield. Jeremy Lambert was a Sr. at Kearns, and arguably the best pitcher in the state (talked to him a few years back and he made it as far as AAA). The winner of our game played Orem the very next day (who spent most of the year with the #1 ranking), so Kearns decided they were going to roll the dice with their #2, hoping that if they beat us they could pitch Lambert against Orem the next day.

We of course beat them 3-2, and I pitched a complete game . They brought Lambert in around the 5th or 6th, but it was too little, too late. You always lead off with your ace in single elimination -- I hope their coach learned his lesson! The next day we headed down to Orem, and got shellacked by Jimmy England (5A player of the year) and co. I remember sitting there after the game, and most of my teammates were crying. One of my best friends, who played SS, was our closer, starting RB and all around tough guy, was just sobbing, and I'll never forget that image since I didn't expect to see it. And, coincidentally, besides me he was the only other player that wasn't playing in his last baseball game.

I felt almost no emotion at the end of that game. I guess it was because I knew it wasn't my last game, and mostly I was just happy to have the day off of school.

I then played a year and a half at a JUCO, and the fall before I quit I was pitching set up so the last game I might have throw in doesn't stick out. Plus, I didn't actually know I was going to quit. After the fall season, we were doing winter workouts, and after a bullpen session with our pitching coach, I walked straight into our head coaches office, told him I needed to tell him something, and when he asked what I just started crying. I eventually told him I was quitting and going on a mission. He told me I could come back and finish my eligibility after my mission, but I guess I just knew it was the end, when just a couple months before I was intent on just playing baseball the rest of my life.

When I got back from my mission, a bunch of guys I knew were playing on the Weber St. club team (which was actually a pretty good team). Every time I ran into them on campus, they'd always ask me to start playing, but I don't know, just wasn't feeling it. I knew I wanted to go to law school and was pretty serious about school, and felt that I just didn't have time to play baseball on top of it.

After I'd been home for a couple years, I went out an played with them for a one game in their summer league against Utah St. I played first base for most of the game, went 3/4 with 3 rbi's, and struck out 5 in the two innings I pitched. That was the last time I ever played organized baseball, but it wasn't the same as a real competitive type setting -- I was just out there having some fun.

Dude this is very interesting background. In spite of my many MG exchanges over the years I had never had any idea that you'd been serious about baseball. Good to know.

[oxcoug]

the only thing I remember about my last game in HS was the one and only pass that was ever thrown to me in organized football.

I played OL - mostly center, but I started at least one game at each OL position - including a game at TE. Lots of injuries on the team that year, my backup was a really good, really big sophomore, and I was the only guy who knew what each OL was supposed to do on every play.

I was also the deep snapper & short snapper - and we ran the 'swinging gate' on all our PATs. Our last game, we were down by 14 in the 4th. We scored to go down by 8, lined up in the swinging gate and their D didn't adjust properly to it. Automatic default to go for two. The holder - our backup QB - got the ball and rolled out to his right. I was an eligible snapper on the play and rolled to the right corner of the endzone, where the ball was on its way - about 5 feet over my head...

And we lost by one to a team that was supposed to destroy us. We ended up 5-5 that year. If only that stupid little jackwagon could throw while he was running. Even a tie would have given us a winning record...

That sounds painful.

[doctorcoug]

While not a game, my last NCAA race did not appear to be my last, so I have no ill memories from it.

I lost the 1600m run state championship by a hair. I should have won. I ran a horrible race and it haunted my memory for a long time. I have some consolation knowing that the guy who beat me became an all-American and went to the Olympic trials in the 1500m. Every day of my mission I thought about that finish.

[Katy Lied]

Ox, you are quite good at husbanding a thread along. You should be a chat show host.

[MarkGrace]

I think he'd prefer to be called a Talk Show Host.
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8Desz_A90Y"]YouTube - Radiohead - Talk Show Host [Glastonbury 2003][/nomedia]

[Surfah]

Like Grace I didn't know my last game would be it. I started getting some letters from small schools like Pacific and Occidental and local JCs. My junior started off with promise as we had arguably the top RB in California (He'd finish second in rushing in southern California to our rival Hart HS's Ted Iacenda who went to USC). But our QB on the final play of our last practice before our first game of the season went down with a broken arm. I remember standing there in shock as he writhed in pain. Our coaches were as distraught as they were pissed and that kind of set the tone for an uneven season. I got hurt dislocating my elbow and hyper-extending it midway through the season. I sat a game or two and ended up playing with my arm taped at a 90 degree angle and wrapped in carpet padding. Our last game of the season was at St Anthony's HS in LA. They were usually decent but they too were in a down year and needed to beat us to go to CIF playoffs. We were already out with a .500 record and our only motivation was to play spoiler. The game was kind of a blur. I just remember the DE lined up over me talked nonstop. Me and the guard hi-lo'd him good one play because he wouldn't shut up. He cried to the refs for a bit and stopped running his mouth some. I then caught him from his blindside on a breakaway TD run where he slowed up. He cried some more. We lost. It was an emotional game for a lot of guys but I was just glad it was over. On the bus ride home I held my throbbing arm and was wondering if I'd be okay for volleyball.

As I was getting ready for volleyball the coaches gave me my offseason workout plan. They wanted me to add 30 pounds before my senior year. I told them that there was no way I could do that and play volleyball. They all scoffed at me and start making fun of me for playing a girls sport. So I quit right then and there. The HC was upset and asked me "just like that?" I told him "just like that" and walked out. Our OL coach tried talking me back a few days later in a little heart to heart but I told him it just wasn't fun anymore and my heart wasn't in it.

I look back and sometimes wish I had played my senior year. I still got some letters my senior year and Occidental was still interested. But I had no intention of playing. I was too small to play on the line and too slow to play elsewhere.

My last volleyball game was more bittersweet. I knew it was my last because I was off to BYU and had no shot of playing there. I received some interest from other places including a JC where a buddy was coaching but I was set on Provo. To add to the bittersweetness I rolled my ankle really badly when setting a block on the outside. Our middle was slow getting over and jumped across crashing into me. I landed on his foot and missed all of league play having to wear a boot. I came back for our second playoff game against San Marcos HS. They had Brooks Billings who would go on to star at USC and we had little answer for him. After dropping a close first set, we rolled over and got blown out the next two. It was pretty disappointing to go out like that.

[Jarid in Cedar]

My last game was memorable as it was a state play-in game that we lost to Uintah. I had 2 interceptions and 15 tackles, but our offense was pathetic and we lost 17-7. I cried a little afterwards, but I was already looking forward to baseball by the time that we were on the busride home.

I was much better at football, but baseball was my first love. I wonder if I had concentrated on football a little more, I may have been able to play after HS. If's and but's.......

[oxcoug]

Like Grace I didn't know my last game would be it. I started getting some letters from small schools like Pacific and Occidental and local JCs. My junior started off with promise as we had arguably the top RB in California (He'd finish second in rushing in southern California to our rival Hart HS's Ted Iacenda who went to USC). But our QB on the final play of our last practice before our first game of the season went down with a broken arm. I remember standing there in shock as he writhed in pain. Our coaches were as distraught as they were pissed and that kind of set the tone for an uneven season. I got hurt dislocating my elbow and hyper-extending it midway through the season. I sat a game or two and ended up playing with my arm taped at a 90 degree angle and wrapped in carpet padding. Our last game of the season was at St Anthony's HS in LA. They were usually decent but they too were in a down year and needed to beat us to go to CIF playoffs. We were already out with a .500 record and our only motivation was to play spoiler. The game was kind of a blur. I just remember the DE lined up over me talked nonstop. Me and the guard hi-lo'd him good one play because he wouldn't shut up. He cried to the refs for a bit and stopped running his mouth some. I then caught him from his blindside on a breakaway TD run where he slowed up. He cried some more. We lost. It was an emotional game for a lot of guys but I was just glad it was over. On the bus ride home I held my throbbing arm and was wondering if I'd be okay for volleyball.

As I was getting ready for volleyball the coaches gave me my offseason workout plan. They wanted me to add 30 pounds before my senior year. I told them that there was no way I could do that and play volleyball. They all scoffed at me and start making fun of me for playing a girls sport. So I quit right then and there. The HC was upset and asked me "just like that?" I told him "just like that" and walked out. Our OL coach tried talking me back a few days later in a little heart to heart but I told him it just wasn't fun anymore and my heart wasn't in it.

I look back and sometimes wish I had played my senior year. I still got some letters my senior year and Occidental was still interested. But I had no intention of playing. I was too small to play on the line and too slow to play elsewhere.

My last volleyball game was more bittersweet. I knew it was my last because I was off to BYU and had no shot of playing there. I received some interest from other places including a JC where a buddy was coaching but I was set on Provo. To add to the bittersweetness I rolled my ankle really badly when setting a block on the outside. Our middle was slow getting over and jumped across crashing into me. I landed on his foot and missed all of league play having to wear a boot. I came back for our second playoff game against San Marcos HS. They had Brooks Billings who would go on to star at USC and we had little answer for him. After dropping a close first set, we rolled over and got blown out the next two. It was pretty disappointing to go out like that.

I wonder what years you were in the SoCal high school volleyball world? A mutual friend of mine and Triple D's was big on/in volleyball at T.O. high school in the early 90s. He and I were actually mission companions twice and I had to listen to the story about his allegedly epic roofing of some star player from some other high school about twelve times.

[oxcoug]

My last game was memorable as it was a state play-in game that we lost to Uintah. I had 2 interceptions and 15 tackles, but our offense was pathetic and we lost 17-7. I cried a little afterwards, but I was already looking forward to baseball by the time that we were on the busride home.

I was much better at football, but baseball was my first love. I wonder if I had concentrated on football a little more, I may have been able to play after HS. If's and but's.......

Two INTs and 15 tackles - you obviously just bumped IPU from the top SS spot on the CUF two-deep.