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It is about dadgummed time...An introduction by NorthwestUteFan

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  • It is about dadgummed time...An introduction by NorthwestUteFan

    How in the f___* did you find CUF?
    Followed a link at one time from somewhere (?), enjoyed the somewhat more cerebral approach to discussions regarding life, religion, sports, etc. I don't recall exactly where or when I discovered it.

    What do you like about that f___in*' CUF?
    I can get out all of the naughty language out of my system without being shunned or banned at the mere sight of such passionate language. I appreciate the somewhat shared background. See above.

    What don't I f___in' like about those f___in*' f___s* at CUF?
    Not entirely sure. I am old enough and wise enough to recognize some good in everybody, even BYU alumni. The more self-righteous they are, the harder I try.
    (Just kidding. I care very little about partisan bickering between Utes and Cougars. I grew tired of the Yankees vs. Redsox marketing aspect of it decades ago).

    How did you choose your f___in*' piece of Doofenschmirtz moniker?
    I saw something to which I wished to respond, and was in a hurry. I do not effectively express my emotions verbally (ask my wife how fun THAT one is), so when I get on a roll I need to go with it before it is lost forever. So like any good engineer I had to break it down.
    What 'side' of the board will I be on? Utes.
    Where do I live? Seattle. Hmm, that is already taken. Quick, think of something!
    Um let me see, Northwest..CHECK.....Ute..CHECK..Fan...CHECK? That should do it!
    Some people have a way with words. Engineers, well, on the other hand, um, not, uh, have way...? (that really sounds better when read aloud than it looks)
    I fall into the latter group of course. Give me numbers, materials, and design requirements and I can do anything. Make me tell you how I feel, and I fail. Badly.

    What the f___*? (...do you do other than read CUF)?
    Work, raise my kids, play some geetar, work out to avoid facing my mortality, fly airplanes (model and full scale), hiking, camping, car trips with the family, waterski, snow ski (was an instructor for 3 years).
    I played rugby in high school and again a bit in college, but quit from injuries. I was a prop, and I got kicked in the kneecap by our hooker. (THAT sounds HILARIOUS...) It crushed my patella, and it is still sore 20+ years later. I still have shoulder injuries suffered in a game against the U (ironically) when a HUGE 500+ pound polynesian dude ran in from the sidelines and jumped on our scrum. My arm was over the other prop to my right and I tore some rotator cuff muscles. Good times...

    Where the f___* (...How many States have you lived in?)
    7 so far. Virginia, Mass, California, Maine, NH, Utah, Washington.
    I love calling California "Cali" (with obvious cartel references) and "SoCal" because it makes the natives' ears burn.

    What are your f___in*' sports loyalties?
    Utah Football since the early 70's when we lived in University Village. I lived there until I was 8.
    Running Utes Basketball, again since the early 70's.
    For some reason I was a big Cubs fan growing up. It went well with being a Utes fan. Both teams were perennially horrible despite rare glimpses of excellence. It was the exposure to the rare occurences that made me enjoy them so much more. Both the Utes and the Cubs seemed to do incredible things with very little actual talent on the team. Everybody excelled beyond their abilities.
    I loved the Celtics and Patriots and Red Sox, and still follow the Celts and Pats somewhat.
    The strike in 1994 broke my heart as far as baseball is concerned. I rarely ever care any more. I DID enjoy the Red Sox World Series title runs, especially living near Boston.
    I was a HUGE fan of Magic Johnson ever since he spoke to our scout troop when I was younger. After Kareem and Worthy left, I didnt' care much for the Lakers.
    The Celtics with Ainge, Bird, DJ, McHale, and Parrish were my favorite sports team of all time. I somewhat like watching KG, Rondo, Paul Pierce, etc.
    The Jazz are OK. I miss Malone, Stockton, Hornacek though. Jerry Sloan's version of basketball isn't very exciting, and the NBA in general is an abomination. The last game I attended I paid $95 for my tickets, and witnessed a grand total of breakaway ONE dunk all game. No starter played past mid-way through the second quarter.
    I typically like the Red Wings, and I LOVED the Penguins when Lemieux and Mario Jr (palindrom for Jaromir) Jagr played.


    What's your darn fornicatin*' standing in the church?

    Thanks for not including the naughty words in this question. I have my worst calling ever, yet again. I am a counselor(sic?) in the Elders Quorum Presidency. Fifth time for me, perhaps I need to learn something? I don't get it. I like my ward but my kids are exceptionally difficult and we typically spend three hours walking the halls with one of them when they get kicked out of their classes. Not particularly fun, and many weeks we simply can't face the emotional trauma. On top of that I work a lot of long hours including nights and weekends, so I can't spend much time visiting. I enjoy the service but it is time for a change.
    I was significantly disappointed with BKP in the last conference. I have family members and close friends who are gay,


    Do you piss in the damn sink?
    No. It takes too much water to completely flush out the gooseneck trap, and I don't want my sink smelling like a toilet. Besides we brush our teeth there.

    When your kids get older, will you get all f___ed* up on a f___in*' bender with them in order to teach them some f___in*' responsibilities?
    I can see it now. "Hey, man, dude, be good kidth and don' do thish schitth because it 'll messh you up like me..."
    In a word, no. That approach simply is not practicable with my kids.

    Are you looking forward to Wuap's welcome question and what do you think it will be?
    Yes, the man is the consummate Cowboy Poet Laureate of tenuously-linked experiences leading to a paroxysmal release of the actual question.
    My answer will be the awkward silence afterward by comparison. I just hope I don't answer too early...

    Why the f___*? How damn long you been lurkin, boy?
    Once a week starting ~6 months ago, becoming more regular about 2 months ago. Finally signed up a started posting after that.


    *On second thought, maybe I should change all those words to Smurf...(?)

    Here is some context:
    A: 'See that chick? I smurfed her.'
    B: 'No smurfin' way!'
    A: 'yeah, it was smurfin AWESOME. It was a good smurf and all, but she was really funny too, you know?'
    B: 'So, you going to date her again?'
    A: 'I don't know, man. She got all smurfin' clingy afterward. She wanted to call me all the time to talk about nothing? It was all smurfed up. I mean, can't we just smurf and have a good time? Why did she have to go and smurf it all up by doing all that Doofenschmirtz**?'
    B: 'Holy smurf, dude.'
    A: 'No smurfin' joke, man. I mean, just last night she wanted me to take her shopping for a wedding dress.'
    B: 'Get the smurf outta here! That is some seriously smurfed-up Doofenschmirtz.'
    A: 'I know, I know...I wonder if I can smurf her again. You know, a break-up smurf. Chicks go for that, don't they?'
    B: 'Are you out of your smurfing mind?'
    A: 'Yeah, you are right. Smurfing is a hell of a drug, ya hear? A HELL of a drug.'

    ** can I get a Hellz Yeah for the Phineas and Ferb reference? Anybody? Somebody? Nobody? I can't be the only one with little kids.

    Fixed that for y'all...
    Last edited by NorthwestUteFan; 11-04-2010, 02:39 PM.

  • #2
    I'm as profane as anybody on here but I think you should have gone with the "smurf" option. Nice use of Doofenschmirtz, though.
    Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by nikuman View Post
      I'm as profane as anybody on here but I think you should have gone with the "smurf" option. Nice use of Doofenschmirtz, though.
      Thanks, I figured I would get ALL of it out of my system at one time. Pellegrino approves.

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      • #4
        [YOUTUBE]qIHOJ2dq_UU[/YOUTUBE]
        Everything in life is an approximation.

        http://twitter.com/CougarStats

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        • #5
          Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

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          • #6
            Welcome NWUF! NWUF said.

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            • #7
              Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

              sigpic

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              • #8
                Originally posted by NorthwestUteFan View Post
                Thanks, I figured I would get ALL of it out of my system at one time. Pellegrino approves.
                still debating.
                Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
                God forgives many things for an act of mercy
                Alessandro Manzoni

                Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

                pelagius

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                • #9
                  Welcome the f*** here.
                  "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


                  "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

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                  • #10
                    B+ for origninality attempt, D- for execution. Sorry, just being honest.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Art Vandelay View Post
                      Sorry, just being honest.

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                      • #12
                        So is this what we've been reduced to? We're known as the place where you can say fuck as much as you want?

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                        • #13
                          Also NWUF, you are abso-f__king-lutely wrong about the amount of water it takes to flush a gooseneck trap. It takes exactly the amount needed to thoroughly wash your hands with soap. This dilutes any hint of urine to ppm's way below any human's ability to smell (though the odor might be interpreted by your dog as a definite marking of your territory). That you don't know this is evidence that you are a poor hand-washer.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Babs View Post
                            plagiarism is my religion...

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by RobinFinderson View Post
                              Also NWUF, you are abso-f__king-lutely wrong about the amount of water it takes to flush a gooseneck trap. It takes exactly the amount needed to thoroughly wash your hands with soap. This dilutes any hint of urine to ppm's way below any human's ability to smell (though the odor might be interpreted by your dog as a definite marking of your territory). That you don't know this is evidence that you are a poor hand-washer.
                              OK, then I don't pee in the sink because that isn't the place to do it. Is that a better answer?

                              On the other hand, I am not the type to step out of the shower to use toilet when I have to tinkle.

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