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  • A New Friggin' Mascot

    So, I was perusing the pile of classifieds that comes standard with every season ticket purchase, and I see that one of the hyped "New Traditions" this year for the Mighty Utes is flying a hawk around the stadium 15 minutes before kickoff.

    Hells bells.

    So, now that we are joining the self important needle neck wankers in the PAC, I suppose it's inevitable that these new conference mate goobers believe themselves more enlightened than the actual leaders of the Ute tribe. As such, there's probably some movement afoot to hasten the departure of all things Ute from the University of Utah - back to reservation for U, or some such. I would like to make clear that I believe this move is horse pucky, ad infinitum. Next, the PAC will force us to wear black turtlenecks to the blackout, and to sell premium coffee at every concession stand. BACK OFF, DIETER AND BARBARA!!!

    However, I recall that my overly cynical father played for the University of Utah Runnin' Redskins, so a similar change isn't all that far back in our history.

    But why in the name of Chase Peterson and James E. Talmage do we have to be the friggin' Hawks? Teams with a Hawk as their mascot are about as rare as air molecules. Why can't we get outside the box here?

    I'm in full support of Mr. Crimson's proposal of the Utah Crimson Moose. Now THAT'S a mascot. What group of foes wouldn't be overcome with fear at the site of a Crimson Moose? Terrifying. Also, think of the hats! We’re going to be the backwoods rednecks of the PAC anyway, why not embrace it? All we need is a Crimson Moose for a mascot, and maybe have Sarah Palin dance instead of that cougar the Crazy Lady.

    Look, everybody hates Swoop. Everybody. We are well aware that the Swoop costume was purchased on clearance at the WalMart in Evanston. We think, collectively, that when our new PAC 12 overlords demand an enlightened, sensitive change over the objections of the actual Ute tribe, we should slowly roast Swoop on a spit over an open fire at the 50 yard line, have a gigantic foam Crimson Moose trot out and trample on the ashes, place the ashes in an urn, and parade the urn around campus along with Marty Johnson’s left testicle on a pike and the SUGAR BOWL trophy.

    Can I get a witness, please?

  • #2
    Sweet. So now you have taken Auburns War Eagle tradition.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Coach McGuirk View Post
      Sweet. So now you have taken Auburns War Eagle tradition.
      We are collecting 1 tradition from each conference
      "The first thing I learned upon becoming a head coach after fifteen years as an assistant was the enormous difference between making a suggestion and making a decision."

      "They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression."

      "I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me."

      -Rick Majerus

      Comment


      • #4
        A moose is a sweet mascot.

        I think Senioritis is my favorite Ute. Low bar, I know...
        At least the Big Ten went after a big-time addition in Nebraska; the Pac-10 wanted a game so badly, it added Utah
        -Berry Trammel, 12/3/10

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Jarid in Cedar View Post
          We are collecting 1 tradition from each conference
          I think you may well be beyond the number of conferences, or are we talking DII as well?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Senioritis View Post
            So, I was perusing the pile of classifieds that comes standard with every season ticket purchase, and I see that one of the hyped "New Traditions" this year for the Mighty Utes is flying a hawk around the stadium 15 minutes before kickoff.

            Hells bells.

            So, now that we are joining the self important needle neck wankers in the PAC, I suppose it's inevitable that these new conference mate goobers believe themselves more enlightened than the actual leaders of the Ute tribe. As such, there's probably some movement afoot to hasten the departure of all things Ute from the University of Utah - back to reservation for U, or some such. I would like to make clear that I believe this move is horse pucky, ad infinitum. Next, the PAC will force us to wear black turtlenecks to the blackout, and to sell premium coffee at every concession stand. BACK OFF, DIETER AND BARBARA!!!

            However, I recall that my overly cynical father played for the University of Utah Runnin' Redskins, so a similar change isn't all that far back in our history.

            But why in the name of Chase Peterson and James E. Talmage do we have to be the friggin' Hawks? Teams with a Hawk as their mascot are about as rare as air molecules. Why can't we get outside the box here?

            I'm in full support of Mr. Crimson's proposal of the Utah Crimson Moose. Now THAT'S a mascot. What group of foes wouldn't be overcome with fear at the site of a Crimson Moose? Terrifying. Also, think of the hats! We’re going to be the backwoods rednecks of the PAC anyway, why not embrace it? All we need is a Crimson Moose for a mascot, and maybe have Sarah Palin dance instead of that cougar the Crazy Lady.

            Look, everybody hates Swoop. Everybody. We are well aware that the Swoop costume was purchased on clearance at the WalMart in Evanston. We think, collectively, that when our new PAC 12 overlords demand an enlightened, sensitive change over the objections of the actual Ute tribe, we should slowly roast Swoop on a spit over an open fire at the 50 yard line, have a gigantic foam Crimson Moose trot out and trample on the ashes, place the ashes in an urn, and parade the urn around campus along with Marty Johnson’s left testicle on a pike and the SUGAR BOWL trophy.

            Can I get a witness, please?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Coach McGuirk View Post
              I think you may well be beyond the number of conferences, or are we talking DII as well?
              sounds about right
              Last edited by Jarid in Cedar; 08-20-2010, 08:08 AM.
              "The first thing I learned upon becoming a head coach after fifteen years as an assistant was the enormous difference between making a suggestion and making a decision."

              "They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression."

              "I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me."

              -Rick Majerus

              Comment


              • #8
                Just stay away from water fowl. You've been warned.
                Get confident, stupid
                -landpoke

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Senioritis View Post
                  I'm in full support of Mr. Crimson's proposal of the Utah Crimson Moose. Now THAT'S a mascot. What group of foes wouldn't be overcome with fear at the site of a Crimson Moose? Terrifying. Also, think of the hats! We’re going to be the backwoods rednecks of the PAC anyway, why not embrace it? All we need is a Crimson Moose for a mascot, and maybe have Sarah Palin dance instead of that cougar the Crazy Lady.
                  While I appreciate your efforts at self=deprecation during BYU's time of need (the image of Bluto/Belsuhi trying to cheer his buddies up in Animal House comes to mind), long knee jerking habits force me to say that if you see yourself as the backwoods member of the conference that includes Washington State, well, you may need some counseling.

                  If it makes you feel any better, btw, you should know that most BYU fans see most ute fans wearing moose hats already, in our mind's eye, all the time.
                  PLesa excuse the tpyos.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Here's a nice article about UGA VIII, and the history of the Georgia mascot:
                    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/17/sp...ll/index.jsonp
                    "Yeah, but never trust a Ph.D who has an MBA as well. The PhD symbolizes intelligence and discipline. The MBA symbolizes lust for power." -- Katy Lied

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Bump.

                      I would like to formally lend my support to the Utah Crimson Moose movement.

                      My decision may or may not be the related to fact that my 4 year old told me while watching the game today he thinks "that Utah Ute chicken is funny."

                      Chicken.

                      I can't look at Swoop, the red-tailed hawk, now without first thinking: chicken.

                      Maybe I'll get over it.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by wally View Post
                        Bump.

                        I would like to formally lend my support to the Utah Crimson Moose movement.

                        My decision may or may not be the related to fact that my 4 year old told me while watching the game today he thinks "that Utah Ute chicken is funny."

                        Chicken.

                        I can't look at Swoop, the red-tailed hawk, now without first thinking: chicken.

                        Maybe I'll get over it.
                        My personal favorite has always been the Wapiti. But the Moose is a close second. The beauty of both names is that neither one has a plural form.

                        "The Moose are headed to the Poinsettia Bowl."

                        "The Wapiti are having a great season."

                        It sounds cool. Kind of like the Stanford Cardinal.

                        Some information that ties both potential mascots together:

                        The animal bearing the scientific name Alces alces is known in Britain as the Eurasian elk, and in North America and New Zealand as the moose.

                        The British English word elk has cognates in other Indo-European languages, for example elg in Norwegian, Elch in German and łoś in Polish. Confusingly, the word elk is used in North America to refer to a different animal, Cervus canadensis, also known as the wapiti.
                        [ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moose"]Moose - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia@@AMEPARAM@@/wiki/File:Moose_superior.jpg" class="image"><img alt="" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8b/Moose_superior.jpg/220px-Moose_superior.jpg"@@AMEPARAM@@commons/thumb/8/8b/Moose_superior.jpg/220px-Moose_superior.jpg[/ame]
                        Last edited by LA Ute; 10-23-2010, 11:36 PM.
                        “There is a great deal of difference in believing something still, and believing it again.”
                        ― W.H. Auden


                        "God made the angels to show His splendour - as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But men and women He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of their minds."
                        -- Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons


                        "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
                        --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I like the moose idea. I'm a little afraid of moosle, so I agree that the moose is super intimidating. Not as defiant as a chicken. Nothing beats a chicken mascot for making a "screw-you-for-making-me-change-my-politically-incorrect-mascot" statement. But a moose is a close second choice.

                          Plus, I cant wait for the first BYU wag to come up with a MOUSE tshirt.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Katy Lied View Post
                            I like the moose idea. I'm a little afraid of moosle, so I agree that the moose is super intimidating. Not as defiant as a chicken. Nothing beats a chicken mascot for making a "screw-you-for-making-me-change-my-politically-incorrect-mascot" statement. But a moose is a close second choice.

                            Plus, I cant wait for the first BYU wag to come up with a MOUSE tshirt.
                            This has lots of possibilities.

                            Last edited by LA Ute; 10-24-2010, 08:03 AM.
                            “There is a great deal of difference in believing something still, and believing it again.”
                            ― W.H. Auden


                            "God made the angels to show His splendour - as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But men and women He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of their minds."
                            -- Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons


                            "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
                            --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by LA Ute View Post
                              This has lots of possibilities.

                              There is probably a clever way of linking moose and MUSS as well, though I can't come up with it.

                              Comment

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