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When it comes to female bands from the UK, the list looks like this:
1. Spice Girls
2. The Beatles
3. Girls Aloud
4. S Club 7
7,189. Celtic Woman
Like most good things in life, I was first made aware of Celtic Woman through my local PBS affiliate. Naturally, I assumed that when they were pimping a show with the title of "Celtic Woman," it would be a biography of Danny Ainge.
I was disappointed, however, when the show turned out to be a music group of five women from some location east of the Atlantic ocean. This group essentially consists of four women in the mold of Celine Dion and one woman in the mold of a possessed, fiddle playing leprechaun.
Most of the Celtic Woman music presented on PBS sounds like something you'd hear at a Renaissance Faire for drama queens. Very breathy, very woody, like you'd listen to if you were one of those shmarmy elves in the Lord of the Rings. I think some of the songs have different titles, but other than that they are indistinguishable from one another. And every one of them is performed with the earnestness of a testimony meeting at Girls Camp.
On the PBS special, there seemed to be approximately 180,000 people in a smoke filled auditorium, each of them completely spellbound by the spectacle of the four Celines and the Lep. Seriously, every person in the joint was on the edge of their seat, waithing breathlessly for the next song that sounds exactly like all of the other songs. It must have been as amazing watching Yanni at the Acropolis, or something like that.
Usually, a song would start with one of the Celines in a pianissimo solo, but then another of the Celines would recognize the attention being placed on the soloist, and so she would walk briskly out of the shadows and stand directly in front of the soloist, and sing the exact same thing that was just sung. This would be repeated with the other two Celines, after which they would break into formation, each one trying to outsing the others like Goatnapper at a Rascal Flatts concert.
Finally, at the climax of each song, out would pop the possessed, fiddle playing leprechaun, sawing away at the strings like Rumplestilsken. The crowd would spontaneously leap to its feet, the Lep would grin with the ferociousness of Spike on "Gremlins," each of the Celines would belt the climax and often expel a portion of vocal cord, and then they'd move on to the next number.
I was mesmerized, and the $199.95 donation I made to KUED for the concert DVD, commemorative pen, Celtic Woman wig, and bottled piece of vocal cord was, without question, the highlight of my Christmas.
1. Spice Girls
2. The Beatles
3. Girls Aloud
4. S Club 7
7,189. Celtic Woman
Like most good things in life, I was first made aware of Celtic Woman through my local PBS affiliate. Naturally, I assumed that when they were pimping a show with the title of "Celtic Woman," it would be a biography of Danny Ainge.
I was disappointed, however, when the show turned out to be a music group of five women from some location east of the Atlantic ocean. This group essentially consists of four women in the mold of Celine Dion and one woman in the mold of a possessed, fiddle playing leprechaun.
Most of the Celtic Woman music presented on PBS sounds like something you'd hear at a Renaissance Faire for drama queens. Very breathy, very woody, like you'd listen to if you were one of those shmarmy elves in the Lord of the Rings. I think some of the songs have different titles, but other than that they are indistinguishable from one another. And every one of them is performed with the earnestness of a testimony meeting at Girls Camp.
On the PBS special, there seemed to be approximately 180,000 people in a smoke filled auditorium, each of them completely spellbound by the spectacle of the four Celines and the Lep. Seriously, every person in the joint was on the edge of their seat, waithing breathlessly for the next song that sounds exactly like all of the other songs. It must have been as amazing watching Yanni at the Acropolis, or something like that.
Usually, a song would start with one of the Celines in a pianissimo solo, but then another of the Celines would recognize the attention being placed on the soloist, and so she would walk briskly out of the shadows and stand directly in front of the soloist, and sing the exact same thing that was just sung. This would be repeated with the other two Celines, after which they would break into formation, each one trying to outsing the others like Goatnapper at a Rascal Flatts concert.
Finally, at the climax of each song, out would pop the possessed, fiddle playing leprechaun, sawing away at the strings like Rumplestilsken. The crowd would spontaneously leap to its feet, the Lep would grin with the ferociousness of Spike on "Gremlins," each of the Celines would belt the climax and often expel a portion of vocal cord, and then they'd move on to the next number.
I was mesmerized, and the $199.95 donation I made to KUED for the concert DVD, commemorative pen, Celtic Woman wig, and bottled piece of vocal cord was, without question, the highlight of my Christmas.
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